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  1. #11
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    I married a 1....And now the I have to be perfect and right all the time personality is driving me insane. I wish he'd just loosen up a bit.

    My BFF is most likely an 8...And he's pretty much been my rock for a long time.

    I'm drawn to 4s initially, but over time grow bored... And if I could find a 7 I think I'd be in heaven.


  2. #12
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I dunno. I am attracted to my husband who tested 1w9 and is an INTP. I like him because he is principled which makes him trustworthy and predictable in a lot of ways. He does think he's right most of the time and most of the time, he is. He isn't an ass about it, but when I ignore his suggestions, more often than not stuff blows up in my face. Of course, he's learned the same thing about not listening to me. If I feel strongly enough about something to speak up, it's a good idea to pay attention.

    I don't know if 1w9s are supposed to be funny, but my husband loves making me laugh. We have fun talking about current events, religion, and politics and solving the world's problems.

    He really isn't picky about most external stuff unless it's his own stuff and not everything, just stuff he uses every day and doesn't want to forget to take it with him to work and stuff that has sentimental value and books. He doesn't fuss at me for being a slob or anything. He is very safety conscious and risk averse, so there are things I make a point of doing to honor his wishes that I might not otherwise do that way. I also make an effort to tolerate the double checking of locked doors, etc gracefully.

    I handle the money and as long as the basics are covered and he has money for lunches, he doesn't care how I spend what's left over. He complies with reasonable requests unless he's grinding on WoW or something.

    We're both conflict avoidant, but we've figured out how to negotiate peacefully for what we want. Or rather, I have. He's low maintenance but very stubborn, so I just sort of flow around him like water around a rock a lot of times. Other times I'm bossy and he humors me. I may be a 9, but I'm still a firstborn and mother of four.

    So whatever that means.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  3. #13
    Bunnies & Rainbow Socks Kayness's Avatar
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    I like types that are more extroverted than I am..which is not very difficult.

    I like Sixes a lot but only some of them, but then again I guess it's because Stephen is one.
    9w1 4w5 5w4 sp/sx RCUAI
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    "I set about seeking a style in the realm of legend. Something that might allow me to give free rein to my juvenile sense of romanticism and the beautiful image"
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  4. #14
    metamorphosing Flâneuse's Avatar
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    1 - Healthy Ones are inspiring to me, and I'm often drawn to them as friends. I admire their consistent self-discipline and conscientiousness, as these are qualities that I only possess on and off. I click more with FJ Ones because I find that Fe's gentleness softens the One-ish tendency to be judgmental and critical; TJ Ones can be a bit too rigid and impersonal. I find that my values are often similar to those of xNFJ Ones, but they tend to be more action-oriented and outspoken, which inspires me to try to do the same.

    2w1 - Really lovely people, especially ISFJs and ENFJs. The connection I have with ENFJ 2w1s, especially other women, is amazing. Our personalities are vastly different, but once we start talking we realize how we both view the world through a human-centered, idealistic lens and have many of the same values; an ENFJ 2w1 friend of mine is almost like a mindmate for me. I'm holding off judgment about 2w3s as a group until I can meet enough to form a decent sample size; the one 2w3 I've been in close and prolonged contact with probably has histrionic personality disorder.

    3w4 - usually just as friends. I've been attracted to 3w4 men before, but nothing ever happened.
    - We can bond over being mild art and culture snobs.
    - We both have a tendency to get on a high horse that we have no business being on, and can point this out to one another when we aren't self-aware enough to see it in ourselves.
    - I have a strong 3w4 or 4w3 fix and I can understand the drive to act like your ideal self in hopes that you'll actually become it.

    Fours - Drawn to them as friends. I haven't been close to any male 4s.
    - Having insightful, understanding Type 4 friends (and a few family members) has been such a gift for me. Especially if they're xNFP, they intuitively get me better than any other type (except for other 9w1s), and I can usually offer some of my own understanding in return, as Four-ish issues are something that I also struggle with, though to a lesser degree than they do.
    - We appreciate each other's quirkiness instead of being put off by it like some.
    - We usually emotionally respond to events in opposite ways, which can be helpful by encouraging each of us to curb our maladaptive ways of coping. They help me emotionally connect to reality when I numb out: seeing my 4w5 mother's grief over her own mother's death helped move me beyond my initial numbness/helped unstop the flow of emotional energy. I can help them calm down when they're letting something hurt them more than it should: I helped reassure a 4w3 friend in high school whose low self-esteem was further harmed by ostracism that it wasn't her, but the people who were cruel to her, who had something wrong with them.

    5 - I like them but they're hard to get close to.
    I think they're fascinating, but I'm pretty certain that I come across as dippy to them. Our thinking styles are very different - mine is holistic and fuzzy (I sometimes need to write in order to organize my thoughts), while their thinking seems much more structured, detailed, alternately broad and microscopic. (I'm NOT saying all Nines are fuzzy-headed, just that I often am.) Fives are scarily articulate if you can get them talking; my verbal expression tends be awkward if I'm trying to explain something with any complexity. Still, if I could find a Five whose interests and ideas overlapped with mine (and who could tolerate my relative simplicity), it would be fulfilling for me: my thoughts are like a skeleton, just bare bones, while theirs have tendons and muscles that feed my imagination and encourage me to flesh out my own ideas.

    7: When it comes to romantic and sexual attraction, I'm more drawn to Sevens than any other type (even after being badly hurt by one). They are charismatic, usually sweet (or at least nice), mentally stimulating, and have an inspiringly exuberant love of life (when healthy). We can have a blast being silly together, but (especially with Ti- or Ne-using 7s), there's usually a cerebral side to them as well. Because we both have a certain broadness and randomness to our thinking styles, conversation with them can be easier for me than with many other types.

    sp-last 9w1: I've known two of them well (one ENFP so/sx and one INFP sx/so), and they were both immensely openhearted, huge-hearted, generous, patient, and unique. The sx/so wrote amazing poetry and was spiritual in the most sincere way (something that fascinates me because I've never been spiritual). They also have the energetic charm of a Seven, but are even kinder and gentler.
    Likes Aurora James liked this post

  5. #15
    Junior Member Yeah...Nope.'s Avatar
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    Married a 6w5 enfp. We just clicked right from the get go. We have our disagreements, of course, but we have basically accepted our idiosyncrasies.

  6. #16
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    I feel a kinship with e7s and e4s, drawn to them as friends, although I don't think I've dated any of those. Maybe one e4 in college...

    I think a lot of the ppl I've dated could be 6s and maybe a 5...
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  7. #17
    Rainy Day Member Ingrid in grids's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ism View Post
    8/7s? :v

    I'm attracted, romantically or otherwise, to people with a lot of presence/control. Others, too, but I don't know what kinds of types those would be.
    +1. This is also the case for me.

  8. #18
    Member CheshireCat's Avatar
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    Sixes keep popping up.
    Perhaps I don't have to worry about being abandoned?
    "The unconscious mind should be called the super-conconsious mind."

  9. #19
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CheshireCat View Post
    Sixes keep popping up.
    Perhaps I don't have to worry about being abandoned?
    Please explain. Is it because you think a 9 will?

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

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  10. #20
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    Please explain. Is it because you think a 9 will?
    My guess is it's commenting on a potential positive outcome of the 6/9 combination with the 6 sticking in it because of the loyalty that can be given even if the 9 doesn't feel worthy.

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