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  1. #1
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Default Type 6s - What type are you drawn to?

    Type 6s - What type are you drawn to? What is it that draws you to them?

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    Tri-type 639

  2. #2
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    drawn to
    9 - they make me feel calm and accepted, especially when they're grounded
    5 - fascinating quiet thinkers, can learn a lot from them
    2 - warm, generous, affirming, though can be pushy

    neutral
    7 - can be very fun and wonderful to be around but hard to sustain a longer friendship with because the push for excitement can carry them off before the safety net is in place
    3 - positive and hardworking, and it's satisfying to get to know the person beyond the shell, but can be obnoxious
    6 - good when calm but i have to get away from them when they're worked up or i'll get worked up too

    harder
    1 - high expectations can be very stressful, and leave me feeling like i am always letting them down
    4 - i'm very adamant about equality and the 4 need to be different can clash with my desire for everyone to be on the same level
    8 - the confrontation often immediately sets me on the defense


    and of course health levels of the types generally have more to do with it than the types themselves

  3. #3
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    1 - high expectations can be very stressful, and leave me feeling like i am always letting them down
    Not to get this off topic, but I've heard this from several of my friends irl, and it surprised me at the time because I never intended to intimidate people like that. Is there anything that Ones can do, to ease that perceived pressure on others?
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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  4. #4
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Not to get this off topic, but I've heard this from several of my friends irl, and it surprised me at the time because I never intended to intimidate people like that. Is there anything that Ones can do, to ease that perceived pressure on others?
    yes, definitely - framing your high standards as a "mission" or a goal as opposed to an expectation is a huge improvement. i had a 1 director who was very good about this, and she's probably the best boss i have ever had. it allows me to work towards the ideal, which i am all for, instead of feeling like i have already fallen behind, along with the guilt and defensiveness that accompany that. where you direct your focus can also have a big impact - if you're always trying to improve yourself and your conditions, i'm pretty much automatically going to follow your lead and try to improve myself, too - whereas if you're criticizing others, that just makes me uncomfortable and upset. you vibe quite open and understanding to me online, so i have a hard time seeing you having trouble with this!

  5. #5
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    8w9 is a really good match. We both aren't intimidated by each other. We communicate similarly. Their 9 wing is calming. We're flip sides of the same coin but in a compatible way.
    I generally like 7's a lot. 3's are good too.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  6. #6
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    drawn to
    9 - they make me feel calm and accepted, especially when they're grounded
    5 - fascinating quiet thinkers, can learn a lot from them
    2 - warm, generous, affirming, though can be pushy

    neutral
    7 - can be very fun and wonderful to be around but hard to sustain a longer friendship with because the push for excitement can carry them off before the safety net is in place
    3 - positive and hardworking, and it's satisfying to get to know the person beyond the shell, but can be obnoxious
    6 - good when calm but i have to get away from them when they're worked up or i'll get worked up too

    harder
    1 - high expectations can be very stressful, and leave me feeling like i am always letting them down
    4 - i'm very adamant about equality and the 4 need to be different can clash with my desire for everyone to be on the same level
    8 - the confrontation often immediately sets me on the defense


    and of course health levels of the types generally have more to do with it than the types themselves
    These are very thoughtful descriptions. I think I agree with all of those - especially 9, 3, 8, 6, 4 and 1s.

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

    Tri-type 639

  7. #7
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    yes, definitely - framing your high standards as a "mission" or a goal as opposed to an expectation is a huge improvement. i had a 1 director who was very good about this, and she's probably the best boss i have ever had. it allows me to work towards the ideal, which i am all for, instead of feeling like i have already fallen behind, along with the guilt and defensiveness that accompany that. where you direct your focus can also have a big impact - if you're always trying to improve yourself and your conditions, i'm pretty much automatically going to follow your lead and try to improve myself, too - whereas if you're criticizing others, that just makes me uncomfortable and upset. you vibe quite open and understanding to me online, so i have a hard time seeing you having trouble with this!
    Thanks for this post. I don't think I have trouble with it, with most people. At least, I don't think I do, and I try very hard to be open-minded, when it's not necessarily my instinct to be like that.

    I wonder if it's only a problem with my friends. It would make sense if that were the case, since anyone who becomes a close friend of mine is likely aware that they're part of a very select group. Plus, they will likely have heard me rant about things that are imperfect and impossible to fix, or they will have heard me vent my frustration at my own behavior. Maybe they see that and start to worry that I'm judging them with the same severity that I judge myself, and then don't believe me when I say I don't, because if they didn't know how high my standards were from the outset, then maybe I'm hiding something else?

    If you're close friends with any Ones, is this something that resonates with you? Something that's a big enough problem to need a fix of some kind? Or something that the One's friends just need to put up with?
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  8. #8
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    4 - i'm very adamant about equality and the 4 need to be different can clash with my desire for everyone to be on the same level
    4s don't "need" to be different, and certainly don't try to be (rather, it's often painful & alienating & envy is directed at those who appear effortlessly "normal"), but this is a common misconception. I'm not sure why everyone must be the "same" to be on equal levels though... but that's another topic.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  9. #9
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Drawn to:

    5 - They're low key and analytical, it helps if they have a 4 wing and not a 6 wing (4 wing makes them mysterious and interesting, 6 wing makes them paranoid assholes.)
    4 - I have a love/hate relationship with this type, but for the most part I'm drawn to their mysteriousness (well, it seems mysterious to me) and emotionality.
    8 - They have a propensity for assholery, but they're fun and straightforward for the most part.

    Neutral:

    1 - A bit judgey, but I can get along with them because they're straightforward and rigid. The 2 wing gives them a bit of a hypocritical streak, though.
    2 - They're nice, and I know so many of them, but they can be annoying and needy, especially with a 3 wing.
    9 - Too passive aggressive and too generally dull to make up for it. I don't understand them, but since they mind their own business for the most part it's not a big deal.

    Not Drawn to:

    6 - Too much like me for me to like, even with the 7 wing.
    7 - Fucking annoying. They may be smart, but they appear to have the brain of a squirrel.
    3 - This is quite possibly the (IMO) most heinous type of the enneagram. I fundamentally despise their type of "ambition" and the amount of attention/neediness they have.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  10. #10
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    Drawn to:

    5 - They're low key and analytical, it helps if they have a 4 wing and not a 6 wing (4 wing makes them mysterious and interesting, 6 wing makes them paranoid assholes.)
    4 - I have a love/hate relationship with this type, but for the most part I'm drawn to their mysteriousness (well, it seems mysterious to me) and emotionality.
    8 - They have a propensity for assholery, but they're fun and straightforward for the most part.

    Neutral:

    1 - A bit judgey, but I can get along with them because they're straightforward and rigid. The 2 wing gives them a bit of a hypocritical streak, though.
    2 - They're nice, and I know so many of them, but they can be annoying and needy, especially with a 3 wing.
    9 - Too passive aggressive and too generally dull to make up for it. I don't understand them, but since they mind their own business for the most part it's not a big deal.

    Not Drawn to:

    6 - Too much like me for me to like, even with the 7 wing.
    7 - Fucking annoying. They may be smart, but they appear to have the brain of a squirrel.
    3 - This is quite possibly the (IMO) most heinous type of the enneagram. I fundamentally despise their type of "ambition" and the amount of attention/neediness they have.
    Are you sure you are a 6?

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

    Tri-type 639

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