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[Type 4] Type 4s - What type are you drawn to?

Forever

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 30, 2013
Messages
8,551
MBTI Type
NiFi
Enneagram
3w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
[highlight]had to drop this somewhere[/highlight]
c55.gif
 

sunnymal

New member
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
6
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
1 as a INFJ, I feel uncomfortable and afraid of 1s because there are so many things bother them. I care about it much when they often becomes angry.
2 I met entp as eneagram2, he wanted to enhance everyone he is with...keep asking about them and advising and criticizing them. Not aware of people much, advising and criticizing about their weakness could hurt them a lot.
3 I personally don't find them attractive.
4 I can't deal with 4s. I am 4 but it's not easy to listen to their analyzing of themselves. They are drawn to themselves and it's hard to go deep with them to them.......for me.
5 Talking to 5 feels like talking alone........
6 Whenever I talk to them, I feel need to relax them about their life and future.
7 I like 7 it doesn't bother me a lot unless they do a business with me.
8 I like 8 because it's completly different from me. I feel fresh when they courageously talk about dangerous things and overcome it earlier than other people.
9 I love 9 people...but worried of their inside at the same time. They are very peaceful and warm but it sometimes seems overbearing to me..
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
14,037
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
496
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I actually have a relatively clear answer for this. I'm drawn towards E9s who are very unusual in a way that is at least somewhat different from me. My relationship choices have always been with someone unusual, and there have been three significant relationships in my life. My first and now again my current partner were/are rather clear examples of E9, but my partner now has more emotional warmth. The second one gave me the impression of being similar as a reasonable, clear person, but he ended up being extremely aggressive personality, but also extremely unusual. He had a history of high conflict in relationships and that ended up short-circuiting my brain and nervous system.

I'm amused by ideas and behaviors that surprise me in a benign way. I don't care for scary, hurtful surprises, but just funny stuff draws me. I also like E9s because I have some of the same qualities of being overstimulated by fighting or intensity. I'm outwardly kinda like an E9, but inside is where all my intensity exists, so almost everyone is too forceful and intense for me on a personal basis. My current boyfriend researches a lot of stuff on aliens, and I'm not really sure what to think of it, but it charms me when his hippie friends get together and talk about how the politicians could be shape-shifting reptilians. He isn't dogmatic and forceful, but like a true E9, pretty light and laid back. I think he enjoys the thrill of crazy ideas as a play of imagination, but he is actually a rather unusual guy. He's driven the same Scooby-doo van his entire life. Its just stuff like that - not people trying to be unusual, but people who quietly just can't help it in a light, laid-back kinda way.
 

Butze

New member
Joined
Mar 20, 2017
Messages
52
MBTI Type
INFJ
INFJ 4w3 with INTJ 1w2. He's tough :p But for now it seems to go well :)
 

neko 4

New member
Joined
Apr 13, 2017
Messages
437
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp
Sevens: free spirits; love it
Eights: dynamic, courageous

No:
Other fours, sixes
 

Larix

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2017
Messages
21
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Interesting. It looks like there's a lot of fondness for every type, but most fours so far have issues with Ones.
For me, the flavor of the wing, tritype and Jungian type, and the instinctual variants have a lot to do with what attracts me to different types.

8w7- I admire them from afar, but in my experience I'm just too emotionally soft for them, and they often dislike my abundant sensitivity. So/Sx variants might be easiest for me to get along with, but I often feel "bullied" by Mavericks, even though I know they might not mean to be hurtful. I appreciate the honesty, but it's just too offhand and immediate.

8w9- Again, maybe too intense, but I can relate to them so well. Unfortunately, I mostly know STJ-types who are 8w9's, so I've come to expect a lot of misunderstandings in relationships with them. If I met an NF 8w9 of any instinctual variant it might change my mind. I find their occasional vindictiveness a bit puzzling sometimes, but most I've known are drawn to nature and care deeply for animals and people in need, which I respect. I also like their cozy protectiveness.

9w8- Could be fun. Could also be really dangerous. Since I'm a 4 with a 9w8 in my tritype, there's a lot of potential for interesting heated conflict followed by long periods of avoidance and pretending things aren't as bad as they are between us. But I'd feel free to say or do nearly anything and truly be myself with a 9w8. Since they're a gut type first, they'd likely help me get more in touch with my body, and help me relax and challenge myself. If I met an SP 9w8, I feel like there could be fireworks.

9w1- I grew up with a lot of 9w1s around, and I love their balanced nature. The only thing is, their repressive nature is a bit hard on me, because when I want to talk things through, they lock themselves up. I can't deal with the "everything's fine, forget about it" attitude. But, their energy is beautiful and enchanting to me, and makes me feel like I'm steady enough to get things done with them around, without feeling pressured.

1w9- I tend to avoid 1w9s in general. I just automatically feel like they're disappointed in me no matter what, and that's stifling. 1w9 don't even need to say anything and I know that while they might see me as having "a lot of potential," they're consistently irritated with my inability to get my life together. Especially variants with sp.

1w2- I just can't help feeling that they always think they know what's best for me. And as much as they try to explain their good intentions, I just have a hard time buying it. I'm working on friendships with 1w2's, but they tend to be rocky, and I have to keep my distance or else I feel like calling them out on every last potential assumption.

2w1- Maybe. A 2w1 in a 259, 295, 296, or 278 tritype (more likely an IN type). They can have a nice harmony with my heart fix, I find, if they're subdued and introverted. And the intuition makes it easier to talk about potential clinginess/avoidance issues. My mom's an INFP 269. Lots of anxiety about leaving people to their own devices unless someone can reassure her they'll be fine on their own.

2w3- Only a T-type, I think. I'd start to feel like an F-type was gushing and overly affectionate toward everyone to really feel like they thought I was anything special. I'd probably be extremely jealous of anyone else they spent their time with, if I'm being honest. And my so/sx stacking would make me wish I was as loved and affectionate as they were. I'd feel very inadequate and ignored.

3w2- I couldn't see this working unless the heart fix was buried in the tritype. 793, maybe? Or even 953. With 1 or 8 in the mix, they'd just be too much of a superhuman for my liking, and I'd feel like they were just putting up with me. Possibly b/c my e9 side would have trouble valuing the whole "recognition" thing, which might make me feel like I'm in a relationship with a complete stranger.

3w4- More likely than 3w2. 3w4's are extraordinary. They have just enough 4-ish quirk, aesthetic drama and intensity to keep me interested in what they're going to try to do next, and being a 3 they'd have a "coolness" to them that would make me feel confident and willing to dream big. We'd have a mutual understanding of the importance of our unique abilities, and I could see us really supporting each other. But the hidden insecurity and tendency to feel inferior even if they did something I could never dream of doing would annoy me. But not so much that I think it'd be a huge issue. But again, I like 3 with 9 a lot more than with 8 or 1.

4w3- My sister's a 4w3, and I've had some 4w3 friends. Too dramatic and emotionally volatile and unpredictable for me. The continual disappointment when things don't work out just right is heartbreaking for me, and I feel like I couldn't really be there for them since their pain would only amplify my own.

4w5- it might be interesting. But my experience shows that we tend to drag each other into a dark hole of ever-increasing nihilism. We'd likely just end up getting consumed talking about the darkest of our thoughts, and if we painfully misunderstood the subtleties in each others' analyses of these thoughts, we'd likely start to drift apart. Also, we'd have to remain deadlocked in mutual non-criticism, lest one of us become the "counsellor" in the relationship. It'd start to feel like being in a relationship with a One.

5w4- I especially love NP 5w4's, but I honestly think that 5's just don't have enough fire to keep me interested in a relationship with them. Sure, we could talk about interesting ideas all the day long, but unless they were an so-type, I'd feel like I was dragging them out to talk to people (because I like interacting with interesting people from time to time), and I wouldn't want them to be uncomfortable with my social lifestyle.

5w6- Can be quite dry for my taste relationship-wise. Great friends, but I don't know if there would be enough intensity in the relationship. Even an sx type would have that sx-6 energy that I find a bit menacing and overly reactive. I don't need that kind of conspiracy injected into my already dark 4w5/5w4 nihilism.

6w5- Again, I LOVE them as friends, but it gets exhausting weeding through the constant skepticism. I also don't necessarily gravitate toward ambivalence or caution in relationships. I'm too adventurous for that.

6w7/7w6- Similar to 2w3- I'd often feel "left out of the party." These types have a tendency to forget I even exist because they're out and about. Also, the 6's intense emotion with the 7's intense adventurousness makes me really nervous! I like it when people do things that they're willing to completely throw themselves into. Doubt, worry and impulsiveness in a person makes me feel like I'll have to be the constant pessimist, telling them that things aren't going to work out as well as they're banking on. I also would hate being asked my opinion if they're going to just do whatever they want anyway.

7w8- I really love 7w8's! I think they're the winners. Every time I'm around a 7w8, my life turns into an exciting adventure where anything's possible, and doubt isn't even part of the picture. I could especially see myself with a 793, 739, 794, or 741. 7w8's usually have sharp and curious enough minds to hear out my imaginative ideas, and almost never think of them as overly odd or ridiculous. Usually they're very affirming and say "you know, you could totally do X with that idea! Wanna try it?" Their willingness to throw rules out the window and awesome planning skills compensate for my type 4 lack of energy and pessimism, but love of adventure and drama. Their rationalism is romantic enough that I'm never bothered by the fact that they can be a bit steely and sometimes go too far with their aggressiveness. But compared with 8w7's, I feel like the e7's fundamental idealism would be easier for me to deal with than the e8's rugged realism.

I think my ideal match might be a 7w8-3w4-9w8. But what are the chances!? They probably would never notice me anyway, off on some crazy adventure while I'm hiding in my little cave writing or something. *sigh.* (Isn't there something about 4's having issues with wanting to attract an ego-ideal who embodies everything they're not? I think that might actually be a thing...)
 

Norqs

New member
Joined
Aug 21, 2017
Messages
21
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I'm a female 8 with 7wing and have deep attraction to 4s. Very deep emotional connection wth them that I struggle to find with other numbers - they also match my intensity on a passionate level. I've dated 9s, 6s, but a healthy 4 has been something totally invigorating!
 
Joined
Dec 28, 2016
Messages
1,566
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
459
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I'll be friends with any enneagram, but romantically I think I'm drawn mostly to 8s and 5s. I'm just so fascinated by private vulnerability, I love guys who are tough on the outside but soft on the inside. :blush: I love their genuine protective nature, it makes me feel safe both emotionally & physically. I also love their intensity & depth. And with 5s, they're so enigmatic! I love their passionate thirst for knowledge. I'd love to just be around them and learn everything I can. I imagine them as these quirky inventors for some reason lol. I haven't met enough people to be certain if I'd be attracted to more types, but typically 8s & 5s have the qualities that I'm drawn to.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Id like to add that a guy with tritype 358 is typically one to catch my eye - in any order :ninja:
 
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