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Thread: Type 4s - What type are you drawn to?

  1. #11
    Member Array EndlessNameless's Avatar
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    Jan 2013
    4w5 sp


    7s! They are just cool and funny...Everything I want to be

  2. #12
    Senior Member Array boondocked's Avatar
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    Mar 2009
    4w3 sx/so


    Quote Originally Posted by EndlessNameless View Post
    7s! They are just cool and funny...Everything I want to be
    Cosign the 7 love! They take me on adventures outside of my own head and everything is just heightened around them. Good raconteurs...I'm dating one who's one part regular nice dude and two parts living tall tale.

    Love 8s too, even if I feel like they override me somehow??

    5s are stimulating and perf, and so good to date and friend...sooo many brain corridors to go down...they have no end.

    3s too...I like 'em. I feel like they work hard at being remarkable and they usually are.

    The only types I don't regularly get down with are 4s (too claustrophobic together?) 1s (just don't really know any?) and 9s (can't be sure how they really feel, which throws me)

  3. #13
    Just do it Array Zarathustra's Avatar
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    Oct 2009
    4w5 sx/so


    Quote Originally Posted by sulfit View Post
    True, there is a lot these two types have in common. 8s have outer strength but inside they are very vulnerable, while 4s have an inner strength but lack that outer toughness of an 8.

    This discussion on enneagram axes of polarity mentioned that 8s and 4s are a pair of opposites dealing with metaphysical dilemma of life and death.
    In Molina's system of combining the Hartman Value Inventory to the Enneagram, each type gets two value dimensions associated with it, one (the first) for its instinctual center, and another (the second) for its place within that instinctual center.

    The three value dimensions are Intrinsic (I), Extrinsic (E), and Systemic (S).

    The Intrinsic (I) relates to the gut.
    The Extrinsic (E) relates to the heart/image.
    The Systemic (S) relates to the head.

    As such, the types' associations are:


    If you notice, 8s are IE, and 4s are EI.

    So yes, you can see why they have a commonality, but it's hard to put into words @spiritualtramp1948.

    By the same methodology, 1s and 5s would have a similar relationship, as would 2s and 7s.
    The Justice Fighter

    XXXX - XwX Xdw XwX sx/so - Neutral Good

    "I trust what you are doing though…I just see it a little differently.
    I don’t see it as you stepping away from the fire. I see it as the fire directing your course.
    No matter how airy or earthy or watery you become... to many of us you will always be...a super nova."

    "Behind these gates of seeming warmth sits, loosely chained, a fierce attack dog. Perhaps not crazy, but dangerous"

    The Aggressive 6

  4. #14
    Senior Member Array Chiharu's Avatar
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    Feb 2011
    7w6 sx/so
    ENFp None


    6s and 4s.

    I'm drawn to 8s but I always feel so inadequate.
    Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness." ― Kurt Vonnegut

    ENFP. 7w6 – 4w3 – 1w9 sx/so. Aries. Dilettante. Overly anxious optimist.

  5. #15
    So she did. Array small.wonder's Avatar
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    Feb 2013
    4w5 sx/so


    To me it all depends on health, an unhealthy anything is exhausting and painful. Anyone who can admit their crap could be a friend of mine, regardless of type.

    My three closest friends are a 2, a 5 and a 1. They can all admit their faults though.

    Across the board I get along with 5's because they are also more reserved, thoughtful and intense.

    Friendships with 6's have worked for me because we both value honesty intensely.

    I'm attracted to 8's in general, I see them as strong enough.

    7's have a charm that other's don't have, almost a child-like quality that I find attractive and accepting.

    I have been drawn to some 4's but I couldn't see that ever working romantically. A 2 would also never work romantically, The fact that they can blatantly lie to themselves (and others) makes me irate.
    Find my Enneagram writing here, and ethical boutique here.✨

  6. #16
    Senior Member Array Entropic's Avatar
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    Aug 2012
    8w9 sx/so
    ILI Ni


    1: If healthy, I suppose I could be friends to them but they just tend to baffle me, really. It helps if they are common INxPs as at least there's a cognitive connection.
    2: I don't think I've met a healthy 2 but generally speaking, just no. So clingy and attention-seeking (from me). I can't deal. I need my own godamn privacy!
    3: Can be cool if somewhat healthy and so first. Very charming but it can be a bit too much diva queen drama in the long run.
    4: I like 4s, especially if 4w5. I feel a strong connection to them because of my wing. I can imagine being romantically involved with a 4. I find myself often being drawn to 4w5 cores, especially sp first types, in fiction.
    5: I prefer fellow 5w4s over 5w6 and I prefer them to be sx/sp or sp/sx over any other stacking. That's when I find that I mentally click the best. Hm, no idea about romantically involving myself with another 5 though.
    6: Yes and no. 6 is so hit and miss to me. I prefer phobic over counterphobic sixes by far. I often click relatively well with phobic 6s but counterphobic just tend to rub me entirely the wrong way.
    7: I admit I don't have much experience with 7s. We live such different lives. Are a bit hit and miss to me as well, and I think they can grate me in the sense that seeing their behavior makes me see what's bad about myself when unhealthy.
    8: I really like 8s and we click well. I think I prefer the more volatile 8w7 type over 8w9, but really, I do like 8s and I can imagine to romantically engage with one.
    9: I think I'm a bit allergic to 9s. 9w8 are all right if strong 8 wing, but generally speaking, 9s are too peace-seeking for my own tastes, and they tend to come off as rather boring. They just seem to lack spice.

    Most of all though, regardless of core type, I find that instincts matter a lot and I do prefer sp/sx, sx/sp or so/sx t ypes. No idea about sx/so. sp/so and so/sp are pretty much ruled out. I find them rather boring and uninteresting as I don't feel that initial sx spark and intensity with them.

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  7. #17


    As far as friendship goes, I definitely seem to go for people I see as soulmates- so fours especially. As far as romantic attraction goes, I tend to go for people who are more different, but not totally different. I don't know if enneagram seems to matter quite as much as MBTI/Jungian stuff- I'm very attracted to SPs, for example. I find extroverted sensing sexy as all get out, especially in ISXPs.

    Oh and yes, instincts. It's good to have the sexual instinct in there. I seem to be moth-to-flame attracted to sp/sxs, but things seem to work out better with sx doms or so/sxs.

  8. #18
    Member Array IllusoryReverie's Avatar
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    Feb 2013
    4w5 sp/sx


    I tend to be most drawn to 5s, 4s, and 7s. Although I feel like pursuing another 4 probably wouldn't be the best idea for me, as I'm not exactly in the healthiest state of my life at the moment and if I were to be with someone who had the same negative tendencies, I feel like I would only bring them down rather than be counterbalanced if I were to be with someone who's personality balanced my own type more so. It's difficult. Because I crave emotional intensity and passion (which I guess any personality can have) but I do realize that the types that I'm drawn to, I'm drawn to because they do tend to be more intense on those levels which may or may not end up being the best fit for me in the long run.
    “The first progressive step by a mind overwhelmed by the strangeness of things is to realize that this feeling of strangeness is shared with all men and that human reality, in its entirety, suffers from the distance which separates it from the rest of the universe." -Albert Camus

  9. #19
    Senior Member Array pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    Mar 2011
    748 sx/so


    Ahah I knew it and I'm calling your bluff! :P I was feeling a lack of love for ENFPs over at the INFP love thread, but now you show your through colors: you actually like type 7s! ...and I'm not saying that ENFP = type 7, but I think that over at the other forum people are going for ENFJs and INTPs simply because that's the types usually associated as compatibles with INFPs by MBTI theory and theorists.

  10. #20


    Romantically drawn to type 4, 7, and 9w1 gals. I've heard female 8s and male 4s tend to match up romantically. Unfortunately I don't know of any female 8s.

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