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[Type 3] My take on 3w4s

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
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ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
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sx/sp
[MENTION=4653]2XtremeENFP[/MENTION]
[MENTION=10137]Sparrow[/MENTION]
[MENTION=14498]Cloud of Thunder[/MENTION]
[MENTION=5578]bologna[/MENTION]
[MENTION=9016]mrcockburn[/MENTION]

does this seem accurate? do you feel it describes you well as a 3w4?

you know you're a 3w4 when, after some reflection, you've realized you went through life feeling rejected and abandoned by the world. a 4 would withdraw from the world and wallow in this sense of "ugly duckling syndrome", but not you, you are determined to you be a strong, successful individual and you will show the world that you really are worth something. that said, you couldn't care less about most of the world. they had their chance to accept you, and they blew it, the target audience of the grand, dramatic performance that is your life is more niche, a target audience who can appreciate your unique talents and support your personal path to success.
despite strength and determination that few can match, you remember the scars of childhood, feeling rejected and ridiculed has left in you a sympathy for things that might be considered ugly, scarred, repulsive or broken. depending on various factors (the strength of your wing, your MBTI type, your instinctual variant or various non type related factors) you may either choose to incorporate some of these things into your image or choose to hide them and guard your inner turmoil with lock and key (most 3w4s will do a little bit of both).
the 3's desire to appear strong, confident and unaffected contrasts sharply with the 4's desire for self expression, emotional intensity and "spilling their guts", which often leads to this type having a strong duality between their personal and career lives (hence, why they are often referred to as "The Professional"). at work, you probably wish to present a pristine, polished, confident, competent image that will command the respect of their peers and coworkers (and most would tell you you're quite good at it). sometimes, however, you feel like people just view you as robotic and two dimensional and forget that you have a heart and personal needs just like everyone else. hence, your ability to hide your true feelings and vulnerability often comes back to bite you in the ass as it often leads to people feeling pushed away by you, making forming deep, personal friendships somewhat difficult for you.
on the other hand, in your personal life, the ice melts somewhat (at least when alone and when around those whom you comfortable letting your hair down around). your hobbies might run more on the romantic/sensual side and the 4 influence can manifest itself via music (either listening or performing), a taste for romantic novels or anything that allows you to experience and/or express your emotions in a "safe" atmosphere where you know you will not be judged or rejected, at least not by those who are important to you.
 

Elfboy

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and some more people who might find it interesting [MENTION=12223]Viridian[/MENTION] [MENTION=15607]The Great One[/MENTION] [MENTION=5356]Speed Gavroche[/MENTION]
 

Cloud of Thunder

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Yeah, the part about vulnerability is especially poignant. It takes a great deal of trust for me to really open up to anyone.
 
G

garbage

Guest
whatup
you know you're a 3w4 when, after some reflection, you've realized you went through life feeling rejected and abandoned by the world.
Resonates with me..

withdraw from the world and wallow in this sense of "ugly duckling syndrome", but not you, you are determined to you be a strong, successful individual and you will show the world that you really are worth something.
Yup. When unhealthy, by any means possible.
that said, you couldn't care less about most of the world. they had their chance to accept you, and they blew it, the target audience of the grand, dramatic performance that is your life is more niche, a target audience who can appreciate your unique talents and support your personal path to success.
Sort of. While I used to care about what 'the entire world' thought, I realized that I fared better by 'fitting in by standing out'--subverting 'the game,' turning it upside down, and so on. "Damn, there goes a unique individual. A true pioneer," they'd say. .. ideally.

despite strength and determination that few can match, you remember the scars of childhood, feeling rejected and ridiculed has left in you a sympathy for things that might be considered ugly, scarred, repulsive or broken. depending on various factors (the strength of your wing, your MBTI type, your instinctual variant or various non type related factors) you may either choose to incorporate some of these things into your image or choose to hide them and guard your inner turmoil with lock and key (most 3w4s will do a little bit of both).
Yes. I have a tendency to want to forget everything before the present moment, because it's immaterial. Even if what I've been through has made me somewhat of a role model, and even if I can recall those experiences for my own betterment and the betterment of others, I'd still choose to ignore them (or at least treat them objectively or from a distance) if possible. It's as if the person way back then was 'not me,' that adversity is absolutely great so long as it's actually been overcome, and that I'd rather not be reminded of the 'failure' I used to be, thank you very much.

the 3's desire to appear strong, confident and unaffected contrasts sharply with the 4's desire for self expression, emotional intensity and "spilling their guts", which often leads to this type having a strong duality between their personal and career lives (hence, why they are often referred to as "The Professional"). at work, you probably wish to present a pristine, polished, confident, competent image that will command the respect of their peers and coworkers (and most would tell you you're quite good at it).
Yup.
sometimes, however, you feel like people just view you as robotic and two dimensional and forget that you have a heart and personal needs just like everyone else. hence, your ability to hide your true feelings and vulnerability often comes back to bite you in the ass as it often leads to people feeling pushed away by you, making forming deep, personal friendships somewhat difficult for you.
I agree when it comes to those above me on the food chain. The culture is that if there's any pain or weakness, it's simply not acknowledged. Like that time when I cut off the tip of my finger at work and nobody (including me) said a damn word about it, blood trailing down the hallway at all. That culture can't be changed so much--but, come on, that's just ridiculous.

Within my sphere of influence, it's a whole 'nother story. I outright mentor those who work for me and we're very vulnerable with one another. We know each other pretty well, which, among other things, provides context in the work environment. My opinion is that people are of the utmost importance and that we ought to be able to cut through our bullshit, and I strive for higher positions to increase my sphere of influence both for my gain and so I can fix this sort of culture to the extent that I can.
on the other hand, in your personal life, the ice melts somewhat (at least when alone and when around those whom you comfortable letting your hair down around). your hobbies might run more on the romantic/sensual side and the 4 influence can manifest itself via music (either listening or performing), a taste for romantic novels or anything that allows you to experience and/or express your emotions in a "safe" atmosphere where you know you will not be judged or rejected, at least not by those who are important to you.
I used to have a bit of anxiety about being judged or rejected by those who were important to me, and it was difficult to find "safe" atmospheres. In keeping with my last answer above, I decided instead to create those safe atmospheres.


Hope that helps :popc1:
 

Kierva

#KUWK
Joined
Dec 8, 2010
Messages
2,469
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6w7
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[MENTION=4653]2XtremeENFP[/MENTION]
[MENTION=10137]Sparrow[/MENTION]
[MENTION=14498]Cloud of Thunder[/MENTION]
[MENTION=5578]bologna[/MENTION]
[MENTION=9016]mrcockburn[/MENTION]

does this seem accurate? do you feel it describes you well as a 3w4?

you know you're a 3w4 when, after some reflection, you've realized you went through life feeling rejected and abandoned by the world. a 4 would withdraw from the world and wallow in this sense of "ugly duckling syndrome", but not you, you are determined to you be a strong, successful individual and you will show the world that you really are worth something. that said, you couldn't care less about most of the world. they had their chance to accept you, and they blew it, the target audience of the grand, dramatic performance that is your life is more niche, a target audience who can appreciate your unique talents and support your personal path to success.
despite strength and determination that few can match, you remember the scars of childhood, feeling rejected and ridiculed has left in you a sympathy for things that might be considered ugly, scarred, repulsive or broken. depending on various factors (the strength of your wing, your MBTI type, your instinctual variant or various non type related factors) you may either choose to incorporate some of these things into your image or choose to hide them and guard your inner turmoil with lock and key (most 3w4s will do a little bit of both).
the 3's desire to appear strong, confident and unaffected contrasts sharply with the 4's desire for self expression, emotional intensity and "spilling their guts", which often leads to this type having a strong duality between their personal and career lives (hence, why they are often referred to as "The Professional"). at work, you probably wish to present a pristine, polished, confident, competent image that will command the respect of their peers and coworkers (and most would tell you you're quite good at it). sometimes, however, you feel like people just view you as robotic and two dimensional and forget that you have a heart and personal needs just like everyone else. hence, your ability to hide your true feelings and vulnerability often comes back to bite you in the ass as it often leads to people feeling pushed away by you, making forming deep, personal friendships somewhat difficult for you.
on the other hand, in your personal life, the ice melts somewhat (at least when alone and when around those whom you comfortable letting your hair down around). your hobbies might run more on the romantic/sensual side and the 4 influence can manifest itself via music (either listening or performing), a taste for romantic novels or anything that allows you to experience and/or express your emotions in a "safe" atmosphere where you know you will not be judged or rejected, at least not by those who are important to you.

y u no mention me :((((

I feel abandoned.
 

Elfboy

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[MENTION=11928]Vetani[/MENTION]
ah, you were the person I was forgetting. I knew it was someone but I couldn't remember who. anyway, what do you think? :newwink:
 

Kierva

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[MENTION=11928]Vetani[/MENTION]
ah, you were the person I was forgetting. I knew it was someone but I couldn't remember who. anyway, what do you think? :newwink:

you know you're a 3w4 when, after some reflection, you've realized you went through life feeling rejected and abandoned by the world. a 4 would withdraw from the world and wallow in this sense of "ugly duckling syndrome", but not you, you are determined to you be a strong, successful individual and you will show the world that you really are worth something.

I agree. I don't want to be seen as a self-pitying idiot because it's just pathetic and it doesn't get anything solved.

that said, you couldn't care less about most of the world. they had their chance to accept you, and they blew it, the target audience of the grand, dramatic performance that is your life is more niche, a target audience who can appreciate your unique talents and support your personal path to success.

Yes, I don't care about most people -- just the ones that matter. I'm not so sure about audience thing, where people had their chance to accept me. It's more like I've always been on the outside because I didn't fit into society's mold of being a "good person" and I couldn't care less to try and fit in the mold.

I'm a niche product, bitch. (see how I was trying to sound badass there hahahaha)

despite strength and determination that few can match, you remember the scars of childhood, feeling rejected and ridiculed has left in you a sympathy for things that might be considered ugly, scarred, repulsive or broken.

Very clearly, in fact. I'm not sure about sympathy because it's just hard for me to sympathize with anything or anyone? I don't know, it's just one of those things where it's hard to explain. Like, if someone showed me a scene of poverty in Africa or some hunger shit I look at it blankly, whereas my mother would be "Oh my god, so terrible!".

It's hard for me to say "I know how you feel" because I personally haven't gone through it so I wouldn't know exactly. As I'm writing this I'm sort of confused myself!


the 3's desire to appear strong, confident and unaffected contrasts sharply with the 4's desire for self expression, emotional intensity and "spilling their guts", which often leads to this type having a strong duality between their personal and career lives (hence, why they are often referred to as "The Professional"). at work, you probably wish to present a pristine, polished, confident, competent image that will command the respect of their peers and coworkers

It's one thing to keep it together, it's another to express yourself. If you want to keep it together, you gotta express yourself. If you don't, it's all going to build up and explode.

Not a good thing.

As for school, yes. I want to be the competent team member that can do everything, whom everybody wants in his/her group. I want to be wanted. I sometimes fish out for compliments from my peers and facilitators about my abilities. It just makes me feel better, you know?

sometimes, however, you feel like people just view you as robotic and two dimensional and forget that you have a heart and personal needs just like everyone else. hence, your ability to hide your true feelings and vulnerability often comes back to bite you in the ass as it often leads to people feeling pushed away by you, making forming deep, personal friendships somewhat difficult for you.

I don't think my peers see me as "robotic" but my mother and family would tell you a different story. The words "cold", "arrogant" and "calculating" would pop up quite a bit.

Personal friendships on the other hand, is a matter of having access to my secret garden. It's a matter of time before I warm up to certain people because there's this need to size them up... I don't want my time to be wasted with people who aren't worthy of my attention.

Don't even get me started on relationships.

on the other hand, in your personal life, the ice melts somewhat (at least when alone and when around those whom you comfortable letting your hair down around). your hobbies might run more on the romantic/sensual side and the 4 influence can manifest itself via music (either listening or performing), a taste for romantic novels or anything that allows you to experience and/or express your emotions in a "safe" atmosphere where you know you will not be judged or rejected, at least not by those who are important to you.

I love watching gay indie romance films in my past time. I know, how fucking sappy of me... but hey, to each their own, right?

At first, I thought joining the Malay drama club in my campus was a big mistake, but it was actually a blessing in disguise. The members made it clear that expressing yourself is okay and honestly, it's so liberating to be able to just let go.

My trainer said that you have to express yourself to the extreme in theatre so that they know what you're capable of. Then they'll reel you in if there's any adjustments to be made.
 

2XtremeENFP

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does this seem accurate? do you feel it describes you well as a 3w4?

you know you're a 3w4 when, after some reflection, you've realized you went through life feeling rejected and abandoned by the world. a 4 would withdraw from the world and wallow in this sense of "ugly duckling syndrome", but not you, you are determined to you be a strong, successful individual and you will show the world that you really are worth something.

To be honest, I never really felt abandoned by the world, or that I was rejected by the world. Though, I do have a desire to prove that I am a strong, successful person, and that I have meaning.


that said, you couldn't care less about most of the world. they had their chance to accept you, and they blew it, the target audience of the grand, dramatic performance that is your life is more niche, a target audience who can appreciate your unique talents and support your personal path to success.

Again, I am not angry with the world. I want to motivate the world. I want to show my talents and skills to show people that they are something special. We have the chance to be something great!

despite strength and determination that few can match, you remember the scars of childhood, feeling rejected and ridiculed has left in you a sympathy for things that might be considered ugly, scarred, repulsive or broken. depending on various factors (the strength of your wing, your MBTI type, your instinctual variant or various non type related factors) you may either choose to incorporate some of these things into your image or choose to hide them and guard your inner turmoil with lock and key (most 3w4s will do a little bit of both).

So dark... can't really relate. Perhaps though, I can relate to the idea of hiding things from my image, or choosing to show off particular things, but more the reason of appeal and charisma.

the 3's desire to appear strong, confident and unaffected contrasts sharply with the 4's desire for self expression, emotional intensity and "spilling their guts", which often leads to this type having a strong duality between their personal and career lives (hence, why they are often referred to as "The Professional").

This makes sense...

at work, you probably wish to present a pristine, polished, confident, competent image that will command the respect of their peers and coworkers (and most would tell you you're quite good at it).

Yes! I definitely relate to wanting to be viewed as competent and intelligent, and someone that people will come to for advice on how to improve.

sometimes, however, you feel like people just view you as robotic and two dimensional and forget that you have a heart and personal needs just like everyone else. hence, your ability to hide your true feelings and vulnerability often comes back to bite you in the ass as it often leads to people feeling pushed away by you, making forming deep, personal friendships somewhat difficult for you.

I cannot relate to this at all....

on the other hand, in your personal life, the ice melts somewhat (at least when alone and when around those whom you comfortable letting your hair down around). your hobbies might run more on the romantic/sensual side and the 4 influence can manifest itself via music (either listening or performing), a taste for romantic novels or anything that allows you to experience and/or express your emotions in a "safe" atmosphere where you know you will not be judged or rejected, at least not by those who are important to you.

I notice that I won't talk about my vulnerable struggles, where I look for advice, to many other people. I want to be the one people come to, I don't want to go to people. I want to appear like I have it together, I have the experience, I have the knowledge and wisdom to help.





Cool thoughts! Hope this helps!
 

Guy V. Malaxia

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Oct 10, 2011
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ed2305b7.png


I relate to it all.
 

Kierva

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/cast Necromancy

*raises dead thread from the gutters*

I'm doing this because I can, and I love this thread <3
 
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