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Thread: 4w5s who are low in self pres

  1. #11
    Cat Wench Array ReadingRainbows's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    6w7 sx/sp
    IEI Ni


    Quote Originally Posted by chana View Post
    i'm not sp-last but i still struggle with a lot of self preservation type things. i'm really awful at taking care of myself, i forget to eat a lot and i can live in some pretty gross conditions without really noticing or caring. and like what has already been said in the thread, i definitely prioritize my romantic relationships over pretty much anything. friendships too sometimes.
    This this this x100. Thats what it is like to be an sx dominate. I can be super social in one on one terms. I also bend over backwards for people I like and respect. It makes me happy to do so
    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    St. Stephen took rocks and St. Sebastian took arrows. You only have to take some jerks on an internet forum. Nut up.

  2. #12
    Paragon Gone Wrong Array OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    4w5 sp/sx
    IEI Ni


    I'm sp-dom and I'm faaaaar from practical. I do the forget to eat thing (or simply find it an inconvenience) and my space often looks like a hurricane hit it. But the things is, I like to do it for myself when I do do it.

    There's this feeling of not wanting to need anyone, not wanting to rely on them, not wanting to be/feel like a burden, which leads to needing to care for my own needs/wants. If I'm not in control of them, then I fear them not being met too. It's not a security/safety/practicality bent for a 4 though, but survival aspects that deal with identity & emotional comfort too. This aslo leads to isolating yourself if you think someone else's presence may be an obstacle in that regard. With the 5 wing (avarice!), this looks especially selfish & hoarding with time/energy/resources. There's always a fear of "not enough", and it extends past physical things to time, space & energy.

    Letting someone care for me shows I care for them, because I feel they grasp my needs/wants & trust them to provide. I also trust they won't steamroll my individuality. Silly things like decorating my space in a way that reflects me is important to me. I don't want to be at the mercy of someone else's desires.

    Being sp-dom also means being quite indulgent, even for a P & an e4. The mood rules, and you try to make sure you're equipped to indulge it with whatever luxuries you desire. When I get it for myself, then it feels like no compromise - it's just what I wanted, with no guilt of burdening another for it. If I can't do it for myself, then I suck it up, but I'm also bitter & tend to see circumstances to blame, since I do try & don't expect things to fall into my lap.
    "Charlotte sometimes dreams a wall around herself. But it's always with love - So much love it looks like everything else. Charlotte Sometimes - So far away, glass sealed and pretty." - The Cure

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx - 451| RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive

  3. #13
    So tired... Array Amargith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    4dw sx/so
    IEx None


    Interesting. Even as an sp last I can relate strongly to the non compromising and the struggling with guilt and burdening others as well as the letting others take care of me part.

    I guess the difference is that I've sort of disappointed myself so much in the sp region that I kind of do not trust myself and know that though I feel guilty to let him take care of me, my Intj will do a pretty good job usually. I never stopped fighting to find the 'right' way to take care of myself and I have improved...somewhat. Still a major source of frustration in my life though. And as a coping mechanism, I've sort of learned to expect the worst when I do try my hand at taking care of myself, making myself feel ok with whatever the outcome will be (no expectations). Unfortunately that also kind of kills your motivation for putting effort into something I've noticed...

    I'm slowly realizing that learning this shit with childlike curiosity instead of pressure or out of guilt or pride is the way to go about it.

  4. #14
    Whisky Old & Women Young Array Speed Gavroche's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    6w7 sx/sp


    Seems a bit like an odd combination, no wonder they are extremely rares.

    I can see how it is possible, but just vaguely.

    I read that thread with interest.

    Sp/So 4w5 is an odd and extremely rare combination, even rarer actually, it's the rarest enneatyoe of all.

    Most 4w5 are Sp/Sx, though. Thoses are quite rares too, but not so rares.
    EsTP 6w7 Sx/Sp

    Chaotic Neutral

    E=60% S=55% T=70% P=80%

    "I don't believe in guilt, I only believe in living on impulses"

    "Stereotypes about personality and gender turn out to be fairly accurate: ... On the binary Myers-Briggs measure, the thinking-feeling breakdown is about 30/70 for women versus 60/40 for men." ~ Bryan Caplan

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