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[Other/Multiple Enneatypes] Tell me about your anger.

mmhmm

meinmeinmein!
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
2,280
i get very, very quiet.
and i rage inside.

you know, i always think about smashing car windows.
i don't know why. i think maybe because i watched
the rain scene in dirty dancing when johnny had to
smash the car window in too many times. cue music
"overload"

it doesn't make sense out here /panning motion
but it makes sense in here /spaghetti motion near eyeball
 

tinker683

Whackus Bonkus
Joined
Nov 8, 2009
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ISFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
EJCC - That's a really interesting observation. It had never occurred to me before, but that seems bang on. I don't enjoy wallowing in sadness, but neither am I in a hurry to get it dealt with in the same way I am with anger. I would say that's the emotion that is more likely to be around all the time in some form. I'm not sure if all Fe dominant/aux people are like that, but I know my ENFJ mother is too.

Me three :(
 

Lark

Active member
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
29,569
I'm all about the controlled anger, I think I mispent a lot of my early life and teens because I was totally consumed with anger but I've become very good at managing it, ridiculously so, which helps with my work but can cause jeopardy in some settings because I'm unlikely to respond with violence in a defensive way which can actually encourage assailants, particularly the most sadistic.

I'm angered a lot of the time by communication barriers and difficulties, differences in learning, experience, training, tradition, culture, you name it, combine with intelligence, I dont just mean IQ but more importantly emotional intelligence and social intelligence, to make it nye on impossible.

Its not just that others fail to "get it" most of the time when I'm talking with them or listening to them but when they make decisions or reckon further from originally mistaken premises which they are never going to "get" what's wrong with it that really makes my blood boil. I can control it and do so well. Although it leads to a lot of pseudo-communication, which is totally unnatural. Which in turn leads me to the sort of feeling like that in the saying about once in a while even the most civilised person would like to run up the black flag and slit some throats.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
14,037
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
496
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I'm not too angry, but few things will trigger it. I don't have the energy to be fundamentally angry. When I do feel it, it is fleeting because I naturally analyze all the power out of it. The analysis trigger empathy because I go outside myself, and then I comprehend the other person's motivation and plausible explanations for it. Then I see my anger as just another domino falling in a chain of events, and it dissipates.
 

DiscoBiscuit

Meat Tornado
Joined
Apr 13, 2009
Messages
14,794
Enneagram
8w9
I'm all about the controlled anger, I think I mispent a lot of my early life and teens because I was totally consumed with anger but I've become very good at managing it, ridiculously so, which helps with my work but can cause jeopardy in some settings because I'm unlikely to respond with violence in a defensive way which can actually encourage assailants, particularly the most sadistic.

I'm angered a lot of the time by communication barriers and difficulties, differences in learning, experience, training, tradition, culture, you name it, combine with intelligence, I dont just mean IQ but more importantly emotional intelligence and social intelligence, to make it nye on impossible.

Its not just that others fail to "get it" most of the time when I'm talking with them or listening to them but when they make decisions or reckon further from originally mistaken premises which they are never going to "get" what's wrong with it that really makes my blood boil. I can control it and do so well. Although it leads to a lot of pseudo-communication, which is totally unnatural. Which in turn leads me to the sort of feeling like that in the saying about once in a while even the most civilised person would like to run up the black flag and slit some throats.

I think someone has a crush on me.
 

Poki

New member
Joined
Dec 4, 2008
Messages
10,436
MBTI Type
STP
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
ok...I dont get angery alot but I will tell you about my arguments and my fights with those I care about.

To start I will give an example of the extremes I reach when I have talked about me and my ex screaming and yelling when we fight. I hate anger, I hate everything that revolves around anger. I dont have much anger in me, I will yell and scream as a method of arguing, getting my point across, taking more control of the situation, etc. I have been in knock down drag out fights(never physical, just using that terminology to explain the heat in it) with my ex. I have walked out and went somewhere out of frustration, but it never blocks how much I care for that person or what I will do for that person. Me and my ex got into it one time and I left and went to my parents because I was frsutrated and was ready to throw in the towel. Our cars used to have remote start, so when I left my parents house to go to work in the morning I drove by our house, hopped in her car, turned the heater on, and then used remote start to turn it on so it was already warmed up when she got in.

I got in an argument today with my INFP friend at work. She accused me of being angery because I asked her opinion on a questionaire and didnt agree with her. I decided that I didnt agree with her answer and she said I dont understand and accused me of being angery(this was over IM). Well we got into it more because of the way things went after I was accused of being angery and some of the things we talked about, words were said, I apologized because one thing I said was more extreme then I actually believe, let her know am not mad, and thanked her for helping me. What I said was along the lines of I understand you perfectly, it you who doesnt understand me at all(which when you have been really good friends for awhile this can hurt and I dont believe what I said anyway). I understood exactly why she chose what she did and I can see that, but I believe its a phase in my life and part of it I am working through yet the outside world keeps pushing me and not so much who I am. But because I didnt agree it was that I am angery and dont understand. Well anyway...she pulled away just because she needed time. I had a team lunch this afternoon and she likes the mints at that restaurant so even though we got into it, I still grabbed her a handful of mints on the way in and then another handful on the way out. Not to sway her in anyway, or to get past any of this, or as a peace offering, but just because I care.

I dont get blinded by arguments, or anger, or any of that. I know what matters in this world despite all the little set backs that me and others may face together. I do not let anger control my actions.

Right now me and my ex can have arguments where we completely disagree, get into a huge heated discussion argument where we hang up the phone on each other or whatever, but she can always turn around at anytime and ask me a question about my son, or tell me he needs something and all my frustrations are put to the side because he is what matters the most. My worst is when something like this happens and I ignore her calls/text because I dont want to deal with her as I may miss one of those times where its not about the argument and about something else with my son.
 

Ryadai

New member
Joined
Oct 18, 2012
Messages
29
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
I very rarely get angry and if I do, it only lasts for a little while (sometimes I can be over it within a matter of minutes). It's a pain because a lot of people I know think that this means they can treat me however they like.
 

DiscoBiscuit

Meat Tornado
Joined
Apr 13, 2009
Messages
14,794
Enneagram
8w9
My normal level of anger/annoyance with life and those in it is fairly mundane and easily vented.

The deep seeded core anger on the other hand is an entirely different animal.

My life since childhood has been spent learning to stop myself from ever venting that kind of thing at an inappropriate place or time or in inappropriate company.

 

miss fortune

not to be trusted
Joined
Oct 4, 2007
Messages
20,589
Enneagram
827
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I'll be one of the first to admit that I have a rather nasty temper... I try not to, and I try to keep civil, I was taught as a kid that decent people just don't lose their tempers :doh:

I've taken on people twice my size and with a broken leg for talking smack, I've gotten in my fair share of bar fights, I'll routinely call people out for being assholes and god help you if you try and act like you think you're better than me because I WILL cut you down to size rather quickly and efficiently and smile the entire time... something in that brief moment of letting go is THRILLING in some strange way :shrug:

At least I get over it quickly... losing my temper makes me feel incredibly happy afterwards, so me actually cutting loose only lasts for about 20 seconds at most :)

like I said though, I try and keep it in whenever possible...

I do have some more deep seated anger issues but I work hard to keep that in check as well :unsure:
 

kyuuei

Emperor/Dictator
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
13,964
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
8
I'm a very angry person. It just eats at me. I constantly feel like breaking something or someone, and when there is reason to make it worse, I get so angry that I start tearing up from rage. It's really annoying.

I feel the same way, well written.

The most two-faced and hypocritical part of me is acting as calm as I do. I frequently smile in people's faces and they'll have no idea I'm raging inside towards them. I say calm, collected things when all I want to do is scream. I, most of the time, envision different outcomes than what has actually happened, and anger is really the source of all of that.

It's really not often that I'm not angry. Luckily for me, anger and happiness are not mutually exclusive. They're the two emotions I feel the most.
 
W

WALMART

Guest
I'm a very angry person. It just eats at me. I constantly feel like breaking something or someone, and when there is reason to make it worse, I get so angry that I start tearing up from rage. It's really annoying.


<3
 

Azure Flame

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 26, 2010
Messages
2,317
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
8w7
Hmm, people think my angry rants are hilarious. I used to yell a lot as a kid but anytime I asserted myself my father would ground me :dry:. I took Tae Kwon Do to help manage my anger issues. I used to beat up my brother when he didn't want to play with me. I never did anything super damaging to him but I'd put him in choke holds just to scare him and make him cry, etc. It helped a lot to have an outlet in Martial Arts. I went through the military, which was a miserable experience and brought me to a point in my life where I was so angry I no longer felt it and was driving people off the side of the road going 130mph one evening. I'm at the point in my life now, where anytime I get angry I take a huge step back and try to dissipate or cure the anger because it seems like anger has only made my life worse as people are often reactive around me simply off my demeanor and not my actions. Most of my room mates in the last year have been hippy/tree hugger/naive feeler types who are very soothing to be with and innocent. My biggest problem is that I can't hide or conceal when I'm pissed off. I'll keep my mouth shut, I'll avoid eye contact, but everyone in the room is affected by it, the energy in the room just seems to slow down. Its like I'm the unfortunate volume control to the room's emotional atmosphere. If I'm happy or in love or something, suddenly everyone around me is feeling fantastic as well. It sucks having this kind of responsibility.

Then again there are times when my explosive energy needs to be spent.

This is when I dance my FUCKING ass off.
 

Jaguar

Active member
Joined
May 5, 2007
Messages
20,647
What about it? It's a lightning bolt - strikes fast, then I end up laughing at myself.
 

Derpravity

New member
Joined
Feb 13, 2013
Messages
111
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I have trouble expressing anger because I don't want to get into emotional spats. I took up the habit of forcing my repressed resentment into bitter tears at a young age, and I'm still a lot more inclined to cry hysterically than express anger, even when I'm really just pissed off.

I tend to spend a lot of my life in quiet outrage against general things, like stupid social constructs, rather than specific things, like individuals who are basing their actions on them. In this way I'll get through the frustration of dealing with people over a long day at uni by focusing on the stupid things about the world that brought about the way they annoy me, and if I joke about wanting to do something horrible to someone who got on my nerves, I don't mean I'd ever do anything to an individual, although the venom in my words is very real. This compromise is working for me.

I try to make my outrage useful, by staying focused on the ways things could be improved and doing my best to make my part of the world more harmonious with my ideal world.

I'm a little nervous of the black rage that I repress at individuals though. The time my partner confessed to cheating on me, I can't really describe the intense, focused fury I felt, and for probably the first and last time in my life, I lashed out with violent hate. I only kicked him in the shin, but the feeling of totally righteous pain infliction startled me after the fact. I don't like that impulses like that are inside me, however extreme a situation has to be to bring them out.
 

RaptorWizard

Permabanned
Joined
Mar 19, 2012
Messages
5,895
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
It seeds my strength and gives focus to my power.

Then the fun part is unleashing this great force!

Hey guys, it's just like Star Wars, the Force Unleashed!

Starkiller turned his fears into anger and with it destroyed all opposition.
 

Nicki

Retired
Joined
Jun 26, 2010
Messages
1,505
I am quite an angry person but my anger inspires me to actually do things so I'm okay with it.
 

Ene

Active member
Joined
Aug 16, 2012
Messages
3,574
MBTI Type
iNfj
Enneagram
5w4
What anger? [hum, hum, twiddle, twiddle] Just kidding.

When I get angry I DO something and I get militant [start to look like Hitler, it's not a pretty sight]. Good thing it only happens about once every 5 years.
 

iNtrovert

New member
Joined
Nov 28, 2012
Messages
359
MBTI Type
Ni
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
When i'm extremely angry I get really sad to the point of crying or shut down emotionally unleashing an uncensored brutally honest rant.
 

Porsche

New member
Joined
Feb 16, 2013
Messages
67
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Anger__by_Chelseam2.jpg

I like this picture. It is true especially for the 8-winger. People better stay away or else.
 
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