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[Other/Multiple Enneatypes] Tell me about your anger.

Kayness

Bunnies & Rainbow Socks
Joined
Jun 22, 2012
Messages
347
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
So! As gut types, we have issues with ANGER! Tell me about your anger. What kind of problems and issues do you have with anger?

I'll go first.

I have a lot of repressed anger and problem with expressing it. It usually gets repressed, pushed down but I know now that it doesn't go away. It just stagnates and becomes resentment. For me, it manifests in long periods of sullenness, long-standing grudges, silent treatment, attempts to 'damnatio memoriae' that person, refusing to acknowledge that person's existence.

I am a lot better with not doing those now and of letting go than I was and hope that it will get even better.
 

Kayness

Bunnies & Rainbow Socks
Joined
Jun 22, 2012
Messages
347
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
What's a gut type?

Enneagram types 8,9,1.

aka. Instinctive Center.

The issue surrounding our Basic Fear/Desire is Anger. 8s overexpress, 1s underexpress, and 9s lose touch, in short.
 

Betty Blue

Let me count the ways
Joined
Jan 19, 2010
Messages
5,063
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7W6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
For myself it's a collection of negatives built up over time that i have been unable to resolve that boil and spill over.

It may seem to come from nowhere...but there is a pattern. The associated feelings that go with the inability to reconcile things in my head can result in emotional/angry outbursts.

Thankfully, once out, they are usually cleaned up pretty easily.

(I'm fairly certain this is confusing but can't seem to find a better way of expressing it in words right now)
 

tinker683

Whackus Bonkus
Joined
Nov 8, 2009
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ISFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
My thing is that I have a hard time asserting myself because when I do assert myself, and I get push back from it, I clam up and withdrawal as I don't really want the conflict. So what then ends up happening is my feelings get disregarded, I develop resentment while putting on a facade of being calm, and then one day I can't deal with my resentment anymore and it comes out in a really spectacular fashion....

....and then I end up feeling guilty because I often say things I don't really mean or that are really hurtful and everyone around me thinks of me as some kind of emotional basket case.

I have found the best way of dealing with conflict, if the person I'm dealing with won't resolve it peaceably is to just withdrawal entirely rather than losing my head. Life is too short to engage in a prolonged conflict and odds, 99% of the time, it's not worth the energy
 

Oaky

Travelling mind
Joined
Jan 15, 2009
Messages
6,180
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
No sleep cranky and enough pokes is a recipe for sensational irritation.
 

Evo

Unapologetic being
Joined
Jul 1, 2011
Messages
3,160
MBTI Type
XNTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
So! As gut types, we have issues with ANGER! Tell me about your anger. What kind of problems and issues do you have with anger?

I'll go first.

I have a lot of repressed anger and problem with expressing it. It usually gets repressed, pushed down but I know now that it doesn't go away. It just stagnates and becomes resentment. For me, it manifests in long periods of sullenness, long-standing grudges, silent treatment, attempts to 'damnatio memoriae' that person, refusing to acknowledge that person's existence.

I am a lot better with not doing those now and of letting go than I was and hope that it will get even better.

I still don't know my enneagram, but I am often told i look angry or come off angry...which i'm not but when they tell me that i am. I am just an ENTJ...the Fi bottles up...then i will hit anyone with the explosion....when i am just a little angry here and there though i am totally ignoring that there's even the presence of the person upsetting me. I am annoyed even having to work on controling my anger... lol sad, i probably am a 1...but not sure...maybe because i don't want to be...I don't like other 1's irl. ...i have gone over and over all of the desires and fears of 1 and 6 enneagram and i don't feel like either match me...sighs.
 

Grublet

Permabanned
Joined
Sep 11, 2012
Messages
269
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Enneagram
AVC
I have a tendency to conceal my anger so I'm prone to violent outburts; verbal, physical, or otherwise. :(
 

Redbone

Orisha
Joined
Apr 27, 2010
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
My son is a 9w8. He tends to repress ANY strong emotion. He was talking about this tonight. About how he boxes away his feelings. His setting is 'smooth sailing' and he doesn't like to be shoved out of that. He can get angry but it's a quiet storm. I'm amazed that he even recognized this about himself at such a young age.
 

wildcat

New member
Joined
Jun 8, 2007
Messages
3,622
MBTI Type
INTP
So! As gut types, we have issues with ANGER! Tell me about your anger. What kind of problems and issues do you have with anger?

I'll go first.

I have a lot of repressed anger and problem with expressing it. It usually gets repressed, pushed down but I know now that it doesn't go away. It just stagnates and becomes resentment. For me, it manifests in long periods of sullenness, long-standing grudges, silent treatment, attempts to 'damnatio memoriae' that person, refusing to acknowledge that person's existence.

I am a lot better with not doing those now and of letting go than I was and hope that it will get even better.

Anger is about circumvention.
Read: Indirection brought by another party.

Crooked ways.
Chicanery.
Wiles.

The circumvention is not your thing.
Move on.
 
R

Riva

Guest
The 'I' causes all forms of irritation. But there really is no 'i'. It's an illusion. Irritations are cause when I feels the I has been unfairly treated (to say the least) whether the feeling is just or not. So let the 'i' go. But letting go of the 'i' needs practice. Do 'i' make any sense' or do 'i' sound ironic?
 

Thursday

Earth Exalted
Joined
Mar 14, 2008
Messages
3,960
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
My anger is much weaker than my control. Yet, this says much since my control is quite strong and my anger can, for only select things, turn up and on instantaneously. Its like a fire dragon in an underwater cage that tries to come to the surface, but the water stops it before it becomes lethal and all is abated. However, I don't lose my temper ever since I use all that energy and funnel it into something else constructive.
 
W

WALMART

Guest
I remember once at work, my assistant manager was fairly new but perhaps not picking up on things as quick as I'd of liked (U-Haul).


It was an incredibly busy friday, and trucks outside were lining up to be checked in with customers lining up inside at the computer... I was pretty much the only 'veteran' to what needed to be done...


I went outside to move a truck that was blocking the entrance and I couldn't find the fucking keys. I looked in the ignition, I looked on the dash... customers were lining up almost into the street...


I was heading back inside to work something out and he walked by, I asked where the keys were and he pulled them out of his pocket. I snatched them out of his hand and told him 'now on you leave the fucking keys in the ignition' and went back to work.


I felt incredibly guilty, and never apologized. Also, U-Haul is rough work. If you ever go and they're dicks, forgive them - that job consumes souls.






I guess the moral of the story is that I feel impatient when I know what needs to be done and someone else doesn't. It also explains my intense guilt when I have no clue what to do and everyone else is just bopping along.
 

Cellmold

Wake, See, Sing, Dance
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
6,266
Even though im not a gut type I tend to experience anger as a sudden intensity that wishes to lash out, sometimes it does, but usually I grab him by the neck and tell him to get back in line with the other imprisoned emotions; fear, embarassment and regret.

I also experience something similar to [MENTION=15886]jontherobot[/MENTION] when im at work, or when I was working anyhow. I hate the idea of not getting on with something because I dont know what im doing and I feel guilty that im not pulling my weight.

By the same token, I also intensely dislike that same situation he described of knowing what needs to be done while others appear to be just meandering around as if in a daze.
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,908
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
Huge, hurricane like anger outbursts have never really been my MO but more of those WTF? kind of angry moments are. These end up with misunderstandings, hurt and more emotion than I care to deal with. It would have to be an exceptional situation to see me get angry/violent with anyone anymore but it does happen occasionally. These people/situations usually have it coming, it's never a surprise.




I guess the moral of the story is that I feel impatient when I know what needs to be done and someone else doesn't. It also explains my intense guilt when I have no clue what to do and everyone else is just bopping along.

Yes. I get this feeling completely.
 

Poki

New member
Joined
Dec 4, 2008
Messages
10,436
MBTI Type
STP
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Extremely strong, i dont like it. If i let go i would probably be the equivalent of "The Punisher" no fear, no cares. Were talking driving 80+ in rush hour using shoulder to pass. 130+ weaving when its not crazy rush hour traffic. Its like i channel everything inside to my senses and just push it. Funnily enough i cant work out when angry, my anger doesnt lend itself to strength as much as it does sensory perception.

Luckily i dont get angry much and i am working on controlling myself when i do.
 

Evo

Unapologetic being
Joined
Jul 1, 2011
Messages
3,160
MBTI Type
XNTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I remember once at work, my assistant manager was fairly new but perhaps not picking up on things as quick as I'd of liked (U-Haul).


It was an incredibly busy friday, and trucks outside were lining up to be checked in with customers lining up inside at the computer... I was pretty much the only 'veteran' to what needed to be done...


I went outside to move a truck that was blocking the entrance and I couldn't find the fucking keys. I looked in the ignition, I looked on the dash... customers were lining up almost into the street...


I was heading back inside to work something out and he walked by, I asked where the keys were and he pulled them out of his pocket. I snatched them out of his hand and told him 'now on you leave the fucking keys in the ignition' and went back to work.


I felt incredibly guilty, and never apologized. Also, U-Haul is rough work. If you ever go and they're dicks, forgive them - that job consumes souls.






I guess the moral of the story is that I feel impatient when I know what needs to be done and someone else doesn't. It also explains my intense guilt when I have no clue what to do and everyone else is just bopping along.

I find this interesting and relieving. Do you think that what is bolded is a common thing amoung 9's...I don't know that much about enneagram still :/
And I will forgive a U HAUL person next time...sounds frustrating.
I find this relieving because you seem like a cool tempered person...and knowing that there are other people that get angry once in a while is actually nice...even though getting angry probably isn't that great. I still feel like I'm not the only one. Cause where I work it's like coddling and tip toeing around people...I'm not allowed to express ANY feeling without someone else looking down upon it or reacting negatively. even when I express happiness.
 

Kayness

Bunnies & Rainbow Socks
Joined
Jun 22, 2012
Messages
347
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
My thing is that I have a hard time asserting myself because when I do assert myself, and I get push back from it, I clam up and withdrawal as I don't really want the conflict. So what then ends up happening is my feelings get disregarded, I develop resentment while putting on a facade of being calm, and then one day I can't deal with my resentment anymore and it comes out in a really spectacular fashion....

....and then I end up feeling guilty because I often say things I don't really mean or that are really hurtful and everyone around me thinks of me as some kind of emotional basket case.

I have found the best way of dealing with conflict, if the person I'm dealing with won't resolve it peaceably is to just withdrawal entirely rather than losing my head. Life is too short to engage in a prolonged conflict and odds, 99% of the time, it's not worth the energy

Oh yeah I agree with you completely. Yes, I feel like that about being assertive, too. It's like each time I try to assert myself the response is so negative that over time I felt like it's not even worth it.

I still don't know my enneagram, but I am often told i look angry or come off angry...which i'm not but when they tell me that i am. I am just an ENTJ...the Fi bottles up...then i will hit anyone with the explosion....when i am just a little angry here and there though i am totally ignoring that there's even the presence of the person upsetting me. I am annoyed even having to work on controling my anger... lol sad, i probably am a 1...but not sure...maybe because i don't want to be...I don't like other 1's irl. ...i have gone over and over all of the desires and fears of 1 and 6 enneagram and i don't feel like either match me...sighs.

my INTJ dad often looks like that too. After a while I realized that it's his natural expression :p.

My son is a 9w8. He tends to repress ANY strong emotion. He was talking about this tonight. About how he boxes away his feelings. His setting is 'smooth sailing' and he doesn't like to be shoved out of that. He can get angry but it's a quiet storm. I'm amazed that he even recognized this about himself at such a young age.

your son's self awareness at such a young age is so impressive!

Anger is about circumvention.
Read: Indirection brought by another party.

Crooked ways.
Chicanery.
Wiles.

The circumvention is not your thing.
Move on.

are you going to talk to me about The Murders in the Rue Morgue now?
 

Within

Permabanned
Joined
Jan 22, 2010
Messages
1,369
I've left most of my 'anger' behind, as my persona evolved into it's current state. I one night realized that most of all circumstances that I got angry in was because I had an enlarged sense of entitlement, and it would only end up leading me on a path of self destruction to continue to submit to those feelings.

Me abandoning it was actualized a couple of months ago. This kid butt in line in front of me at the ATM, it was during a fair my home town hosts annually. The kid then continued to withdraw 500$ from the ATM and as he walked passed me he threw the recite in my face. (I was under the influence of alcohol during this.)

The old me would have gripped him by his arm and thrown a punch at his larynx and then proceeded to smile as he gagged.

But my only reaction to this over privileged troglodyte's actions was to smile and then crush the recite in my hand and threw it back at him replying calmly; Be wary of the IRS.

As upset as this situation made me while transpiring, I now consider it a nice feather in my hat.

-Chapter closed-
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
I used anger as motivation, but that molded the anger into hatred.

I have spent the last several months deluding myself, and giving who I am the proper respect and perspective.

I am finding nasty habits washing away; anger is no longer, and wasn't, the proper approach.

Zen.
 
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