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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by iNtrovert View Post
    When i'm extremely angry I get really sad to the point of crying or shut down emotionally unleashing an uncensored brutally honest rant.
    Hmm, I cry when I'm frustrated because anger would get me in even more trouble.

  2. #82
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    Hmm, I cry when I'm frustrated because anger would get me in even more trouble.
    I can relate to that. If I get really mad I've got the tendency to to want to throw things....or punch things. If I'm mad at someone I will want to yell at them, and then later on I'll feel guilty for the things I said. So most of the time I just opt to bottle up the anger and go listen to music, read, or paint to calm down...alone.


  3. #83
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    I wonder if it's weird to not experience anger. I don't repress it, I just sort of.. I dunno. I let a lot of stupid shit go, because in the end it doesn't matter. That emotional response is very rarely triggered, as a result.

    Either something hurts me emotionally, which doesn't piss me off, just makes me eh.. sad [feel annoyed with myself for letting anyone under my skin].

    I guess I feel brief flashes of anger when those I care for are being hurt. I don't say anything I don't mean, I don't physicalize it (I did physically attack people when I saw them assaulting someone else [/defenseless person] before, when I was a lot younger, though). But I don't break stuff or kick things, or do the "angry dishes" or slam doors, etc. Rarely do I raise my voice, & that's usually when I've just been pushed and pushed into a corner. That's rare, since in most circumstances, I can just walk away and allow it to be their problem/not make it mine.

    Sometimes if I'm startled, I'll display verbal aggression for a second, but I dunno if that counts. I don't actually 'feel' mad. It's a kneejerk momentary fear-reaction. Like if someone almost hits me with their car or walks in on me changing my clothes, I have the tendency to sternly say, "What the fuck is your problem?" - which, obviously other drivers don't even hear, so it hardly matters, & as for anyone who makes the mistake of walking in on me at a vulnerable moment.. welp, we both end up apologizing profusely, hah.


    So, I guess that's the extent of it. Maybe I'm weird/have a relatively high tolerance for anger triggers.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  4. #84
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    I don't really have any to point to. Emotion is transient and relates to your perception in the moment; generally any negative long-term emotion ties to unresolved psychological tension creating a perceptual barrier (for whatever personal reason) that prevents you from moving on from the experience.

    Anger is an anchor. Find out why and you can move forward.

  5. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by Night View Post
    I don't really have any to point to. Emotion is transient and relates to your perception in the moment; generally any negative long-term emotion ties to unresolved psychological tension creating a perceptual barrier (for whatever personal reason) that prevents you from moving on from the experience.

    Anger is an anchor. Find out why and you can move forward.
    ^ what you said.

    I acknowledge my anger and that's the first step. Then I try to figure out what is making me angry which can be difficult sometimes because sometimes it just creeps up on you. Then step three is to resolve the conflict in an appropriate way. I can feel murderous but knowing the limited perception of that emotional state I keep it together. I stay assertive with my position and direct without getting aggressive or intimidating. For a serious issue, I will keep sentences short and make sure that the person I'm dealing with understands that I will not be trifled with.
    This can all happen pretty quickly though. I'll feel angry and if I figure out what is making me angry without too much thought then I usually feel mostly relieved. Then once I plan to actually deal with the anger almost all of the anger subsides. Finally once I deal with the issue, I can go from livid to just happy go lucky in about 1 minute.
    One thing that absolutely interests me every time it happens is when I have a delayed anger. In response to a stimulus I might not get angry right away but then maybe five minutes later I'll be in a kind of full alert state. It catches me off guard sometimes but it's always kind of funny. I tend to catch it pretty quickly because I'll notice that I've started to clinch my teeth together in a kind of rythmic way.

  6. #86
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    As a child, I tended to forget real anger. I think I had moments of white hot incandescent rage because nothing else really explains the physical evidence left behind ... but I don't actually remember feeling that way or doing any of the things that left said evidence. It's like a hole in my memory that I just can't explain. Kinda scary. I think that may have happened prior to complete enneagram development, or perhaps even led to my 9ness.

    In general though, my "anger" is more or less a collection of minor irritations that I can shrug off pretty easily for the most part, but they build up sometimes and make me feel very resentful, at which point I get short and snappy with people. I've realized that I'm not good at holding things in indefinitely, if there's something that really bugs me, it will eventually come up and I will feel better for it.

  7. #87
    Senior Member Entropic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lexicon View Post
    I wonder if it's weird to not experience anger. I don't repress it, I just sort of.. I dunno. I let a lot of stupid shit go, because in the end it doesn't matter. That emotional response is very rarely triggered, as a result.

    Either something hurts me emotionally, which doesn't piss me off, just makes me eh.. sad [feel annoyed with myself for letting anyone under my skin].

    I guess I feel brief flashes of anger when those I care for are being hurt. I don't say anything I don't mean, I don't physicalize it (I did physically attack people when I saw them assaulting someone else [/defenseless person] before, when I was a lot younger, though). But I don't break stuff or kick things, or do the "angry dishes" or slam doors, etc. Rarely do I raise my voice, & that's usually when I've just been pushed and pushed into a corner. That's rare, since in most circumstances, I can just walk away and allow it to be their problem/not make it mine.

    Sometimes if I'm startled, I'll display verbal aggression for a second, but I dunno if that counts. I don't actually 'feel' mad. It's a kneejerk momentary fear-reaction. Like if someone almost hits me with their car or walks in on me changing my clothes, I have the tendency to sternly say, "What the fuck is your problem?" - which, obviously other drivers don't even hear, so it hardly matters, & as for anyone who makes the mistake of walking in on me at a vulnerable moment.. welp, we both end up apologizing profusely, hah.


    So, I guess that's the extent of it. Maybe I'm weird/have a relatively high tolerance for anger triggers.
    Are you also 9-fixed? I think there are two emotions I feel stronger than the others and they're sadness and anger. Makes sense given my strong 4 influence and 8 fix plus connection to 8 that is very strong. I think I feel emotions more strongly than maybe some other 5s do, but then I also realized the other day that maybe I don't feel things as strongly as I thought I do either.

    But anger, to me, it's a source of strength and sadness can be a source of inspiration.

    I was waiting for the day you and I would meet.

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  8. #88
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    People who interact with me irl can feel that I'm not a contentious person, but I am learning more and more that it doesn't mean that I don't have to address anger issues. It is possible that deep anger from childhood abuse has resulted in my chronic, generalized anxiety. I've read that anger too deep to process can express in that manner. I also have trouble feeling anger because I can often understand why a person hurt me and I realize it wasn't personal, but just the natural result of their life experiences and manner of processing information. Because of this I tend to suppress whatever anger I do have. I don't want to conjure up an idea of anger that isn't there, but I do want to clean house and address anger and get it out of me.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  9. #89
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LeaT View Post
    Are you also 9-fixed? I think there are two emotions I feel stronger than the others and they're sadness and anger. Makes sense given my strong 4 influence and 8 fix plus connection to 8 that is very strong. I think I feel emotions more strongly than maybe some other 5s do, but then I also realized the other day that maybe I don't feel things as strongly as I thought I do either.

    But anger, to me, it's a source of strength and sadness can be a source of inspiration.
    9 fixed? I'm not familiar with that.. or I'm going senile.

    I know 9's are peacemakers, & that I can often be viewed as a mediator, but I rarely care to directly engage in mediation for the sake of keeping the peace.. there always has to be a reason beyond that. If there isn't, I just let the chips fall where they may; it's not my problem. And if something actually matters, I'll forego diplomacy if I've exhausted that resource.

    Either way- be it that I'm INFJ or just simply human, any emotional state experienced, I am highly sensitive to, and my decisions are heavily influenced by them. I rationalize to balance out that intensity, and over the course of my life have learned not to allow many things to impact me emotionally in negative ways, needlessly. It's freeing, and also gives me a sense of understanding of situations/people beyond my own kneejerk internal responses to them, beyond any emotional conditioning I may have experienced. I'm not speaking in absolutes, of course.

    My highs are as equally intense as any low feelings, though ironically, I'm more apt to be wary of the high feelings. Take the rationalization overboard.. take it apart to make sure it's structurally sound, that it's "ok" to feel happy about it. That's likely a control sort of thing, to some extent. I need to understand systems, so I don't get the carpet pulled out from under me. Anger, like I said, doesn't really benefit or motivate me in any way, most of the time.. and probably growing up around very angry people sort of taught me how not to respond to that emotion. Not repress it, but to just deal with it, and work through it in the moment- not allow it to control me. With most intense feelings, I hit this internal brake before fully reacting, to gauge intellectually if the feeling is appropriate for the situation. Collect data to help with this. It's simply being careful, I guess. I realize intense reactions are connected to many different experiences/influences/associations/biases that we may not recognize consciously.. I try to make room for those blind spots.

    Eh, this probably didn't answer your question, but it's all I got.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  10. #90
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    Paraphrased, from someone greater than I: "Constantly humming beneath the surface."

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