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  1. #61
    meinmeinmein! mmhmm's Avatar
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    i get very, very quiet.
    and i rage inside.

    you know, i always think about smashing car windows.
    i don't know why. i think maybe because i watched
    the rain scene in dirty dancing when johnny had to
    smash the car window in too many times. cue music
    "overload"

    it doesn't make sense out here /panning motion
    but it makes sense in here /spaghetti motion near eyeball
    every normal man must be tempted, at times,
    to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
    and begin slitting throats.
    h.l. mencken

  2. #62
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    EJCC - That's a really interesting observation. It had never occurred to me before, but that seems bang on. I don't enjoy wallowing in sadness, but neither am I in a hurry to get it dealt with in the same way I am with anger. I would say that's the emotion that is more likely to be around all the time in some form. I'm not sure if all Fe dominant/aux people are like that, but I know my ENFJ mother is too.
    Me three
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

  3. #63
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    I'm all about the controlled anger, I think I mispent a lot of my early life and teens because I was totally consumed with anger but I've become very good at managing it, ridiculously so, which helps with my work but can cause jeopardy in some settings because I'm unlikely to respond with violence in a defensive way which can actually encourage assailants, particularly the most sadistic.

    I'm angered a lot of the time by communication barriers and difficulties, differences in learning, experience, training, tradition, culture, you name it, combine with intelligence, I dont just mean IQ but more importantly emotional intelligence and social intelligence, to make it nye on impossible.

    Its not just that others fail to "get it" most of the time when I'm talking with them or listening to them but when they make decisions or reckon further from originally mistaken premises which they are never going to "get" what's wrong with it that really makes my blood boil. I can control it and do so well. Although it leads to a lot of pseudo-communication, which is totally unnatural. Which in turn leads me to the sort of feeling like that in the saying about once in a while even the most civilised person would like to run up the black flag and slit some throats.

  4. #64
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    I'm not too angry, but few things will trigger it. I don't have the energy to be fundamentally angry. When I do feel it, it is fleeting because I naturally analyze all the power out of it. The analysis trigger empathy because I go outside myself, and then I comprehend the other person's motivation and plausible explanations for it. Then I see my anger as just another domino falling in a chain of events, and it dissipates.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  5. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I'm all about the controlled anger, I think I mispent a lot of my early life and teens because I was totally consumed with anger but I've become very good at managing it, ridiculously so, which helps with my work but can cause jeopardy in some settings because I'm unlikely to respond with violence in a defensive way which can actually encourage assailants, particularly the most sadistic.

    I'm angered a lot of the time by communication barriers and difficulties, differences in learning, experience, training, tradition, culture, you name it, combine with intelligence, I dont just mean IQ but more importantly emotional intelligence and social intelligence, to make it nye on impossible.

    Its not just that others fail to "get it" most of the time when I'm talking with them or listening to them but when they make decisions or reckon further from originally mistaken premises which they are never going to "get" what's wrong with it that really makes my blood boil. I can control it and do so well. Although it leads to a lot of pseudo-communication, which is totally unnatural. Which in turn leads me to the sort of feeling like that in the saying about once in a while even the most civilised person would like to run up the black flag and slit some throats.
    I think someone has a crush on me.

  6. #66
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    ok...I dont get angery alot but I will tell you about my arguments and my fights with those I care about.

    To start I will give an example of the extremes I reach when I have talked about me and my ex screaming and yelling when we fight. I hate anger, I hate everything that revolves around anger. I dont have much anger in me, I will yell and scream as a method of arguing, getting my point across, taking more control of the situation, etc. I have been in knock down drag out fights(never physical, just using that terminology to explain the heat in it) with my ex. I have walked out and went somewhere out of frustration, but it never blocks how much I care for that person or what I will do for that person. Me and my ex got into it one time and I left and went to my parents because I was frsutrated and was ready to throw in the towel. Our cars used to have remote start, so when I left my parents house to go to work in the morning I drove by our house, hopped in her car, turned the heater on, and then used remote start to turn it on so it was already warmed up when she got in.

    I got in an argument today with my INFP friend at work. She accused me of being angery because I asked her opinion on a questionaire and didnt agree with her. I decided that I didnt agree with her answer and she said I dont understand and accused me of being angery(this was over IM). Well we got into it more because of the way things went after I was accused of being angery and some of the things we talked about, words were said, I apologized because one thing I said was more extreme then I actually believe, let her know am not mad, and thanked her for helping me. What I said was along the lines of I understand you perfectly, it you who doesnt understand me at all(which when you have been really good friends for awhile this can hurt and I dont believe what I said anyway). I understood exactly why she chose what she did and I can see that, but I believe its a phase in my life and part of it I am working through yet the outside world keeps pushing me and not so much who I am. But because I didnt agree it was that I am angery and dont understand. Well anyway...she pulled away just because she needed time. I had a team lunch this afternoon and she likes the mints at that restaurant so even though we got into it, I still grabbed her a handful of mints on the way in and then another handful on the way out. Not to sway her in anyway, or to get past any of this, or as a peace offering, but just because I care.

    I dont get blinded by arguments, or anger, or any of that. I know what matters in this world despite all the little set backs that me and others may face together. I do not let anger control my actions.

    Right now me and my ex can have arguments where we completely disagree, get into a huge heated discussion argument where we hang up the phone on each other or whatever, but she can always turn around at anytime and ask me a question about my son, or tell me he needs something and all my frustrations are put to the side because he is what matters the most. My worst is when something like this happens and I ignore her calls/text because I dont want to deal with her as I may miss one of those times where its not about the argument and about something else with my son.
    Im out, its been fun

  7. #67
    Junior Member Ryadai's Avatar
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    I very rarely get angry and if I do, it only lasts for a little while (sometimes I can be over it within a matter of minutes). It's a pain because a lot of people I know think that this means they can treat me however they like.

  8. #68
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    My normal level of anger/annoyance with life and those in it is fairly mundane and easily vented.

    The deep seeded core anger on the other hand is an entirely different animal.

    My life since childhood has been spent learning to stop myself from ever venting that kind of thing at an inappropriate place or time or in inappropriate company.


  9. #69
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I'll be one of the first to admit that I have a rather nasty temper... I try not to, and I try to keep civil, I was taught as a kid that decent people just don't lose their tempers

    I've taken on people twice my size and with a broken leg for talking smack, I've gotten in my fair share of bar fights, I'll routinely call people out for being assholes and god help you if you try and act like you think you're better than me because I WILL cut you down to size rather quickly and efficiently and smile the entire time... something in that brief moment of letting go is THRILLING in some strange way

    At least I get over it quickly... losing my temper makes me feel incredibly happy afterwards, so me actually cutting loose only lasts for about 20 seconds at most

    like I said though, I try and keep it in whenever possible...

    I do have some more deep seated anger issues but I work hard to keep that in check as well
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  10. #70
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YWIR View Post
    I'm a very angry person. It just eats at me. I constantly feel like breaking something or someone, and when there is reason to make it worse, I get so angry that I start tearing up from rage. It's really annoying.
    I feel the same way, well written.

    The most two-faced and hypocritical part of me is acting as calm as I do. I frequently smile in people's faces and they'll have no idea I'm raging inside towards them. I say calm, collected things when all I want to do is scream. I, most of the time, envision different outcomes than what has actually happened, and anger is really the source of all of that.

    It's really not often that I'm not angry. Luckily for me, anger and happiness are not mutually exclusive. They're the two emotions I feel the most.
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