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  1. #1
    Member Savitri's Avatar
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    Default 1 & 8 Relationships

    Does anyone have any anecdotes to share regarding this partnership?

    Partnership can be anything from friendship, colleagues, and/or romantic. If you wish to discuss it theoretically, feel free to do so.

  2. #2
    Bunnies & Rainbow Socks Kayness's Avatar
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    I bet the interactions would be interesting, but not something a Nine like me would want to be within 50 yards of.
    Hypothetically speaking, of course.
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  3. #3
    Member Savitri's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kayness View Post
    I bet the interactions would be interesting, but not something a Nine like me would want to be within 50 yards of.
    Hypothetically speaking, of course.
    Why is that? Do you think perhaps it would be negative?
    LIE-Ni * SCOEI * Te/Fi * 1-7-3 The Systems Builder

  4. #4
    Bunnies & Rainbow Socks Kayness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Savitri View Post
    Why is that? Do you think perhaps it would be negative?
    only if they strongly disagree about something.

    I imagine both types to be very strong willed and vocal about what they believe in. I imagine a lot of relentlessness in both parties which leads to some sort of a stalemate.

    I think, however, that things are always a lot worse in my own mind than in reality.
    9w1 4w5 5w4 sp/sx RCUAI
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  5. #5
    Member Savitri's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kayness View Post
    only if they strongly disagree about something.

    I imagine both types to be very strong willed and vocal about what they believe in. I imagine a lot of relentlessness in both parties which leads to some sort of a stalemate.

    I think, however, that things are always a lot worse in my own mind than in reality.
    Ahh, I see. I've always assumed negativity in all disagreements. It's when people's deeply set passions collide against each other that I feel the individual is raw and ever present. Hence, I feel that (only sometimes when both are being honest with what they think/feel) is a good thing. It is only in the early stages that seem negative because fear is present, fear that perhaps one's reality may shatter, crumble beneath their feet. A decision must be made, will one stand on what one believes in or will one decide to change. And I think that testing of Will is positive and attractive.

    But perhaps I am attracted to this because too often I find things too trivial for my care. And often, what I think is very different from how I feel. And what I feel is often raw and sits just below the surface of deliberate logic. I find type 8s to be the most resolute of both how they think and feel. I speculate that perhaps this type would be the only type that can break the divide I have or at least come close to testing its integrity. lol
    LIE-Ni * SCOEI * Te/Fi * 1-7-3 The Systems Builder

  6. #6
    Senior Member acronach's Avatar
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    im just gonna be a major 5 here and post theoretical knowledge in place of practical knowledge :3

    http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/members/1and8.asp
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  7. #7
    Member Savitri's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by acronach View Post
    im just gonna be a major 5 here and post theoretical knowledge in place of practical knowledge :3

    http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/members/1and8.asp
    That article is a common source to those who study enneagram. I was looking for anecdotes or less common articles to compare with popular perceptions of the type relations.
    LIE-Ni * SCOEI * Te/Fi * 1-7-3 The Systems Builder

  8. #8
    Senior Member sulfit's Avatar
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    1w2s get along better with 8s than 1w9s. That is all I know.

  9. #9
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I'm not great at enneagram typing. However, I believe I dated an 8 (and I think I'm a 1w2). I think I probably initally seem a lot more pliable than I really am. I'm not terribly vocal in the moment, but if it's over an issue that I feel strongly about, I can be. I think that was a problem in some ways, as it was unexpected, particularly for a person who was used to being quite definite and in the moment about feelings and actions. Even though it might take me longer to process a new situation, or even if I don't voice everything immediately, it doesn't mean I don't have very strongly held beliefs or thoughts about it. I think I was attracted to that ability to take charge in that way, even though I found as time went on that it did make for some communication/understanding divides between us.

    I really don't enjoy angry feelings, as I find they mess up my ability to process what is going on and create a lot of unpleasant emotional noise (I don't mind conflict, and see value in it, but don't like feeling actual anger). Sad feelings on the other hand don't bother me nearly as much. With the 8, I found the reverse to be true. He really didn't understand why I would respond to an unpleasant situation with sadness (which he felt was unproductive). He felt that anger is a great motivator and fuel for the fire of dealing with the problem. I don't know if the anger was a personality thing or if it was due to unresolved past situations, but every now and then I was surprised by the way he responded to people when he was normally pretty genial, gregarious and fun. I think he was actually a lot softer inside and more easily bothered by stuff than I would ever have guessed initially. If I had it to do over again, I wish I would have known that earlier on.

  10. #10
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I'm not great at enneagram typing. However, I believe I dated an 8 (and I think I'm a 1w2). I think I probably initally seem a lot more pliable than I really am. I'm not terribly vocal in the moment, but if it's over an issue that I feel strongly about, I can be. I think that was a problem in some ways, as it was unexpected, particularly for a person who was used to being quite definite and in the moment about feelings and actions. Even though it might take me longer to process a new situation, or even if I don't voice everything immediately, it doesn't mean I don't have very strongly held beliefs or thoughts about it. I think I was attracted to that ability to take charge in that way, even though I found as time went on that it did make for some communication/understanding divides between us.

    I really don't enjoy angry feelings, as I find they mess up my ability to process what is going on and create a lot of unpleasant emotional noise (I don't mind conflict, and see value in it, but don't like feeling actual anger). Sad feelings on the other hand don't bother me nearly as much. With the 8, I found the reverse to be true. He really didn't understand why I would respond to an unpleasant situation with sadness (which he felt was unproductive). He felt that anger is a great motivator and fuel for the fire of dealing with the problem. I don't know if the anger was a personality thing or if it was due to unresolved past situations, but every now and then I was surprised by the way he responded to people when he was normally pretty genial, gregarious and fun. I think he was actually a lot softer inside and more easily bothered by stuff than I would ever have guessed initially. If I had it to do over again, I wish I would have known that earlier on.

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