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  1. #1
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    Default I'm a really special 4w5; I don't want to be special.

    This irks me no end, this emphasis on wanting to be unique, different, and special. I don't want that. I would like to fit in! Other people tell me I am unique, different and special. Or, as they say on the playground, WEIRD. Any other 4s like this, or I am just unique in this ... oh wait a minute ... oh damn, srsly? ... reality check: am I unique because I don't want to be unique? bwahaha, what a Special Snowflake, quel rich irony.

    No, seriously. Anyone?

  2. #2
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Nope. As much as I wanna fit in at times, as its is tiring to go against the grain, I secretly still wanna be speeshulll. I guess you are a speshul little snowflake after all. *is green with envy*
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  3. #3
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    i think i'm ambivalent about it. i don't want to be like most people, but i think sometimes that it's just a self defense measure because i'd have too hard of a time fitting in if i tried. i do try sometimes, and i can fake it a little bit, but after a while it's inevitable people are going to think i'm weird so i might as well embrace it? deep down i don't really want to be normal, but i am jealous of it a lot of the time and think that life would be a lot simpler.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Phoenix's Avatar
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    Couple of explanations:

    1. My guess is that you're strategizing as per your 9 at this point. 9's are an attachment type and separation is one of their fears. You're bound to want to feel connected because of that. 9's don't want to feel like outsiders. [Or at least that's my understanding of it]

    2. It's part of your instinct stacking as per this description:

    When Fours of this subtype are healthy, they find that they can form relationships without feeling as though they are sacrificing authenticity. They no longer feel that they have to automatically define themselves as "different from others," as outside the group. They are able to see the ways in which their emotionality might cloud their better judgment and to use that insight to establish equilibrium.

  5. #5
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    Default

    Why are you special you're not special get over yourself.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Wolfie's Avatar
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    I am a non-conformist to the point of self-detriment. In some ways it's stubbornness. I am naturally disinclined to do/like what others do/like. I would say I consider myself very unique and special. (internally scolds self while admitting that) I have been trying over the years to train myself away from that kind of thinking, because probably I am not actually all that different. I yearn to be more like others, while simultaneously detesting others. As @chana said, I think in some ways it is a defense mechanism, because I know I can't(or won't) be like others, I try to take pride in feeling different instead.
    ( . )( . )

  7. #7
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix View Post
    Couple of explanations:

    1. My guess is that you're strategizing as per your 9 at this point. 9's are an attachment type and separation is one of their fears. You're bound to want to feel connected because of that. 9's don't want to feel like outsiders. [Or at least that's my understanding of it]

    2. It's part of your instinct stacking as per this description:
    Ah, thank you. I really like this. I don't go into anything thinking I'm special or different. I hope to blend in and be a functioning member of the group. (That sounds like Borg, but anyway.) It's other people who tell me I'm special or different. I don't like to hear it, actually. So all this mystifies me about us wanting to be special. I associate it more with the 3 wing but I know my enneagram is right. So thanks for fitting this piece into place for me.

  8. #8
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    The uniqueness aspect attached to type 4 is overrated and annoys me. It's like ascribing achievement solely to type 3. It's just some shallow buzzword and misses the point completely.

    I might come back to expand, or I might go outside to kick rocks. Decisions decisions...

  9. #9
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    Oh, please expand. Because it really bugs me.

  10. #10
    ISFJophile zelo1954's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    This irks me no end, this emphasis on wanting to be unique, different, and special. I don't want that. I would like to fit in! Other people tell me I am unique, different and special.
    The concept of "fitting in" can be applied to any number of facets of your life. Each and every facet is a different decision as to whether you wish to fit in or not. Try not to think of it as one broad brush fits all. In my case I'd like to fit in socially and be unique in other ways such as intellectually. I'd like to fit in when I have to work as part of a team but if I have a job to do on my own I'd prefer it if my boss simply left me to do it my way.
    Cognitive functions:
    Fi (95%); Ti (90%); Ne (75%); Fe (60%); Ni (50%); Si (50%); Te (15%); Se (5%)

    "INFP values but INTP skills" describes me best of all

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