Social Fours: "Shame"
Shame, as we use it here, means embarrassment, humiliation, and lack of self-respect.
- I feel ashamed of not measuring up to my vision of the ideal: not being bright or creative enough, not contributing to humanity, or not having a fulfilling relationship.
- I die over each mistake or faux pas I make.
- I often feel inadequate socially and either try to pour on charm and confidence or blend into the woodwork.
- I'm always analyzing myself: Did I make myself understood? Did I sound stupid? Was I too aggressive? Was I too conciliatory?
- I have dreams of achieving tremendous status and recognition in order to get revenge on those who have put me down or laughed at me.
- I am very sensitive to being shamed or slighted. It devastates me to be excluded from a gathering or event that acquaintances or friends are attending.
- Sometimes I say things against myself to try to deflect envy.
- I feel less awkward when I fill a definite position in the group by demonstrating that I'm an authority on something or by making a strong statement about who I am by the way I dress.