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Thread: Talk to me, 1s

  1. #1
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Default Talk to me, 1s



    How do you deal with your feelings, emotions & desires?
    What is the experience/process of repressing them like (or whatever you do with them)?
    When & how do you ever act on them?
    What convinces you that your own feelings, emotions and/or desires are valid or not problematic?

    How does one get you to talk more openly of yourself?
    You seem to like to hide your personal side; is that a correct perception?

    What makes someone appealing/attractive to you, both romantically & platonically?

    How does your wing influence your personality?
    And your instinctual stack?

    What do you hate to be like?
    How do you like to be?
    How do you like to be perceived?

    What's an impression others often have of you that is not accurate and/or is surprising to you in a negative way?
    What's an impression others often have of you that is surprising in a positive way?

    Answer as many/few as you'd like.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  2. #2
    Senor Membrae Eugene Watson VIII's Avatar
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    9w1 reporting in

    My 1 wing restrains whatever is counteractive to the holy idea. But being a 9 this motivation isn't as great as it would be for a 1. The experience usually feels good as I feel I am closer to the holy idea but too much repression can end up in disdain and stuff. This repression seems stronger around other people since they normally go against the idea.

    My wing gives me more drive to do/be something than like a pure 9, I'd say. It gives more refinement to my tritype.

    Sorry if you're annoyed I'm not a 1
    Myers-Briggs: xsFP

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    ~ People don't think it be like it is, but it do. ~

  3. #3
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    I wrote this giant reply... and then it was maintenance time, and it deleted the entire thing. So! Another try, but briefer this time -- and feel free to ask follow-up questions if my answers are too general/vague to make sense.
    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    How do you deal with your feelings, emotions & desires?
    I accept them if I consider them valid and/or appropriate. Otherwise I set them aside.

    What is the experience/process of repressing them like (or whatever you do with them)?
    If I'm resentful about repressing them, then they boil inside me and make themselves impossible to ignore -- and the resentment makes them stronger and worse than they were originally. But eventually they die down, and I suppose the dieing down process is repression, in a sense.
    If I'm not resentful about it, then it's as simple as telling my feelings that they aren't useful, and focusing really hard on what should be focused on instead. If I ignore the emotion long enough, then it goes away. Literally.


    When & how do you ever act on them?
    I act on them when it's appropriate to.

    What convinces you that your own feelings, emotions and/or desires are valid or not problematic?
    After I have the gut reaction (and it's always a gut reaction) that my emotion is valid, I will myself into black-and-white thinking; I get so excited that my emotions aren't dismissable, for once in my life, that I make myself believe that accepting the emotions 100%, and acting on them in a completely uncensored way, is justifiable because the emotions themselves are justifiable, and because shouldn't I have the right to let it all out as a reward for keeping it held in for so long? (This happens a lot with righteous anger; if someone questions it, you'll hear me say "Why shouldn't I be angry? I have every right to be angry!")

    How does one get you to talk more openly of yourself?
    Be my friend. Be open and receptive. Earn my trust.

    You seem to like to hide your personal side; is that a correct perception?
    It is.

    What makes someone appealing/attractive to you, both romantically & platonically?
    I love it when there's more to a person than meets the eye. A lot of the time, I end up befriending people because they want to befriend me, not the other way around, but the people I actively seek out are the ones I find interesting, and the ones that I can learn from. This is the case both romantically and platonically -- and in both cases, I won't chase them down if they show no interest in me, although I may pine after them a little.

    How does your wing influence your personality?
    I care too much about what other people think of me. I also consider myself duty-bound to other people, simply because they're people and they're in my vicinity -- regardless of whether I know them or not (although my duty to my friends and family is obviously thousands of times stronger). So because of my wing, I'm not as independent as I could be, and there are limits to my ability to go off on my own and do what I want.

    And your instinctual stack?
    I'm not clear on whether I'm sp/so, but if I am -- and I probably am -- then it influences my personality by making me become self-focused under emotional stress. Even though, as I said before, I'm fairly other-focused and have a duty to others, if I'm having a rough time, my first thought is getting through it, whatever it takes. I'll maintain an accidentally self-imposed isolation from the rest of the world, because I'm too focused on solving my own issues to remember that other duties exist. (My mom knows when I'm having a rough time when she doesn't hear from me for a few days.)

    What do you hate to be like?
    Worthy of being dismissed, e.g. for being ignorant, stupid, or shallow.

    How do you like to be?
    Worthy of respect, and acknowledged for what I work hardest for/at.

    How do you like to be perceived?
    See above.

    What's an impression others often have of you that is not accurate and/or is surprising to you in a negative way?
    A quote I often hear from people: "I didn't know you felt so strongly about that." Which I suppose means that people assume that my still waters don't run deep, i.e. that I'm not a deep person, simply because I don't talk about my deepest feelings.

    What's an impression others often have of you that is surprising in a positive way?
    My roommate once told me that I seemed like the sort of person who would make great personal sacrifices for my values. I was surprised by that at the time because we didn't know each other all that well, so I don't know what I could have told her that would give her that impression.

    Answer as many/few as you'd like.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  4. #4
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by minutegovt View Post
    9w1 reporting in

    My 1 wing restrains whatever is counteractive to the holy idea. But being a 9 this motivation isn't as great as it would be for a 1. The experience usually feels good as I feel I am closer to the holy idea but too much repression can end up in disdain and stuff. This repression seems stronger around other people since they normally go against the idea.

    My wing gives me more drive to do/be something than like a pure 9, I'd say. It gives more refinement to my tritype.

    Sorry if you're annoyed I'm not a 1
    What is this "holy idea"?

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I wrote this giant reply... and then it was maintenance time, and it deleted the entire thing. So! Another try, but briefer this time -- and feel free to ask follow-up questions if my answers are too general/vague to make sense.

    And your instinctual stack?
    I'm not clear on whether I'm sp/so, but if I am -- and I probably am -- then it influences my personality by making me become self-focused under emotional stress. Even though, as I said before, I'm fairly other-focused and have a duty to others, if I'm having a rough time, my first thought is getting through it, whatever it takes. I'll maintain an accidentally self-imposed isolation from the rest of the world, because I'm too focused on solving my own issues to remember that other duties exist. (My mom knows when I'm having a rough time when she doesn't hear from me for a few days.)
    Thanks for the reply!

    This sounds like 4 disintegration actually (something that will occur when under stress). Although, it does not mean that you are not sp/so.

    I will ask these as well:
    Is anger the emotion you accept as valid the most often?
    Do you differentiate at all between "feelings" and "emotions"?
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  5. #5
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Is anger the emotion you accept as valid the most often?
    Generally, yes, because it's the most useful of the two primary negative emotions, i.e. sadness and anger. Sadness leads to inertia; anger leads to action. Sadness leads to giving up; anger leads to trying again, harder than you've ever tried.

    Also, I'm not one of those people who savors feeling sad. For example: some of the INFJs I know enjoy feeling like a martyr on occasion. I get the impression that they savor their moments of martyrdom in the same way that I savor my moments of righteous anger. But I absolutely loathe wallowing in feelings of hopelessness and victimization. Nothing feels worse to me, than the world being out of balance and being unable to set it right. But anger creates determination, and keeps you from feeling that profoundly unsatisfying desperation.
    Do you differentiate at all between "feelings" and "emotions"?
    I had been using them interchangeably. Is there a difference?
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  6. #6
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    ^ Well, that answers the question .

    Yes, they are different. Generally, emotions are physiological responses & feeling is rational cognition which assigns personal value (ie. significance, importance, etc). Of course, emotion & cognition have no clear line.

    Do you see your moral obligations or that need to be "perfect" as your feelings or do the two clash?

    What about other feelings/emotions which may be inappropriate, such as lasciviousness (or whatever)?

    Oh yeah, and sadness for an e4 is a sort of exploration of human feeling which can lead to a greater awareness of self & people in general & what they need/how they work. It's like diving deep in murky water in hopes of finding a pearl. Beauty can come out of it, especially when the e4 is creatively inspired. Or you can drown...
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  7. #7
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post


    How do you deal with your feelings, emotions & desires?
    What is the experience/process of repressing them like (or whatever you do with them)?
    When & how do you ever act on them?
    What convinces you that your own feelings, emotions and/or desires are valid or not problematic?

    How does one get you to talk more openly of yourself?
    You seem to like to hide your personal side; is that a correct perception?

    What makes someone appealing/attractive to you, both romantically & platonically?

    How does your wing influence your personality?
    And your instinctual stack?

    What do you hate to be like?
    How do you like to be?
    How do you like to be perceived?

    What's an impression others often have of you that is not accurate and/or is surprising to you in a negative way?
    What's an impression others often have of you that is surprising in a positive way?

    Answer as many/few as you'd like.

    I'm extraordinarily self-disciplined, and I don't like to emit negative emotions out into the world IRL. I put a lot of energy into being patient rather than angry, until it's been far too long and I should have stopped caring about something, or the dam should have burst with a smaller volume of water earlier. If I can't convince myself to refocus my attention I eventually put so much energy into negative-emotion-containment that it leaks out in resentment.

    I've had a lot of people who are strong emotion-readers tell me that I make them question their skills, because they can't be sure if I'm fine or upset. If I knew my own tells I would share them with you. I may not have any.

    I'm very good at my positive emotions, and I am skilled at choosing words that build up people's confidence in themselves. But I sometimes have trouble being present if I'm distracted by someone's heart. I don't feel feelings in the way that some Fi doms do; instead, I sense that someone's priorities aren't in line with their actions, and I feel the residual vibe of that. I sense their walls or their hollowness or how they've been neglecting attention on a part of their heart. I usually speak up and try to build up their confidence in the part of themselves that they've been neglecting.

    I've had the problem of waiting until I'm perfectly calm to express frustration, and it usually has unhelpful repercussions. People don't feel the emotion behind my words, and they think I'm just making a random comment. I'm working on allowing myself to throw a bit of energy at the person because it makes for a more genuine relationship experience.

    I like when others respectfully but purposefully push me around a bit to help me deal with my experiences. I need help being present rather than wasting away my energy on negative-emotion-containment, or wasting my attention on how their heart is off-centred (I don't mean to see it, I just perceive their heart neglect, like how you'd notice that someone's skin looked sickly). I'm attracted to people who are present in their emotions because I can follow their lead.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  8. #8
    Sweet Ocean Cloud SD45T-2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    What is the experience/process of repressing them like (or whatever you do with them)?
    Try to imagine how the Hoover Dam feels holding back the Colorado River.

    You seem to like to hide your personal side; is that a correct perception?


    What makes someone appealing/attractive to you, both romantically & platonically?
    Being thoughtful, interesting, kind, having similar values, someone who can broaden my horizons.

    How does your wing influence your personality?
    I guess I'm more animated than a 1w9.

    And your instinctual stack?
    I'm a nosy, civic-minded dogooder.

    What do you hate to be like?
    Flakey, incompetent, clueless.

    How do you like to be?
    Active, productive, thorough.

    How do you like to be perceived?
    Dependable, respectable, fair.

    What's an impression others often have of you that is not accurate and/or is surprising to you in a negative way?
    A lot of people seem to think I'm smarter/more capable than I really am. I'm not exactly sure why. I can be articulate at times, and I'm pretty knowledgeable in certain areas, but people seem to extrapolate that and end up projecting abilities that aren't there.

    It's pretty stressful when people have unrealistic expectations of what I can do, especially when I try to tell them that I'm in over my head and they respond by saying something like "I know you're a smart guy; I'm sure you'll do just fine". Then they act surprised when I crash and burn.

    What's an impression others often have of you that is surprising in a positive way?


    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I will ask these as well:
    Is anger the emotion you accept as valid the most often?
    Probably.

    Do you differentiate at all between "feelings" and "emotions"?
    Not really, at least not consciously.

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Yes, they are different. Generally, emotions are physiological responses & feeling is rational cognition which assigns personal value (ie. significance, importance, etc). Of course, emotion & cognition have no clear line.


    Do you see your moral obligations or that need to be "perfect" as your feelings or do the two clash?
    I'd say that would fall under feelings.

    What about other feelings/emotions which may be inappropriate, such as lasciviousness (or whatever)?
    What about them?

    Oh yeah, and sadness for an e4 is a sort of exploration of human feeling which can lead to a greater awareness of self & people in general & what they need/how they work. It's like diving deep in murky water in hopes of finding a pearl. Beauty can come out of it, especially when the e4 is creatively inspired. Or you can drown...
    I think I mostly just drown.

    I've got ideas, but I don't have much artistic ability, so I can't really do anything with them. They mostly revolve around a sense of abandonment and being deprived of your identity/purpose in life and being unable to find a replacement.
    1w2-6w5-3w2 so/sp

    "I took one those personality tests. It came back negative." - Dan Mintz

  9. #9
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    @OrangeAppled, I will respond to your questions soon!

    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    I've had a lot of people who are strong emotion-readers tell me that I make them question their skills, because they can't be sure if I'm fine or upset.
    ^ Same for me. Or at least, they can't read the build-up; I make myself VERY clear once, to use your metaphor, the dam bursts. My ENFJ friend, who is getting his doctorate in psychology, was especially bewildered by this. Only the people who have known me the longest and who have made a concerted effort to figure me out, can tell when my (extremely long) fuse has been lit.
    I'm very good at my positive emotions, and I am skilled at choosing words that build up people's confidence in themselves. But I sometimes have trouble being present if I'm distracted by someone's heart. I don't feel feelings in the way that some Fi doms do; instead, I sense that someone's priorities aren't in line with their actions, and I feel the residual vibe of that. I sense their walls or their hollowness or how they've been neglecting attention on a part of their heart. I usually speak up and try to build up their confidence in the part of themselves that they've been neglecting.
    This is very interesting. How do you go about building up their confidence like that?
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  10. #10
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    This is very interesting. How do you go about building up their confidence like that?
    Verbally. And directly. I'm not very subtle at all. I'm the kind of person that says, "I like you. I like x about you."
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

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