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Thread: 6s Not Quickly Figuring Out Their Type

  1. #51
    . Array Urarienev's Avatar
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    Jul 2011
    9w1 sp/sx
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhoCares View Post
    I'm only a w6, but I really hated the idea of having a 6 wing because it just seemed so limiting. Would have much prefered to be a 5w4 instead but when push comes to shove I've got that 6 thing going on. When I'm honest with myself the 6 fears and disintegration speak of me more than the 4's. I'm still tryig to find the upside of this wing and indeed the upside of being a core 5 as well. It seems my enneagram just describes a fairly limited individual. Although the fears and motivations speak loudly to me It kind of rankles me that I'm not nearly as latently brilliant as I think I am.
    sounds like you have just met a shadow.

    Shadows suck.

    I felt the same way when someone said I had a 7 for a wing. I was literally appalled. It's taken me about 5-6 months....but I have now embraced 7.

    I don't get bothered by their characteristics, and I find it a strength now, not a weakness.

    Good luck with accepting your wing

    Quote Originally Posted by WhoCares View Post
    Whats the worst that could happen here?
    Ding ding ding

    That's how you know. If you go straight to what the worst thing is (for you) then you're most likely a 6. It's subjective though, of course.

    Quote Originally Posted by lume View Post
    Im not sure exactly. Maybe? Sorry I cant really tell. But Im usually a very anxious person, always under tension.
    See above. ^

    Also I don't relate to the authority, or loyal thing really.

    When they say loyalty, they mean you don't want to be seen as rebellious....

    For me that means that I don't come off as disagreeable to my close friends

    I could care less about looking rebellious to some outsider I don't know though.

    The authority thing manifests for me, because I look to structure in a system to support me (not necessarily people.) Kinda like I can be very 'by the books', and I always have a way of referencing and being supported by the rules. Stuff like that.

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Yes, I tend to think of a horse or deer, who are instinctively prey and herd animals.
    Yea this relates to that thing Who Cares was talking about. That we think of worse case scenario first.

    For me worse case scenario is always being physically hurt or yea, I like strength in numbers, like being in a herd. (At the same time, I'm very against the herd I'm so contradictory smh)
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate.

    Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner

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  2. #52
    i love Array skylights's Avatar
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    Jul 2010
    6w7 so/sx
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    Yea this relates to that thing Who Cares was talking about. That we think of worse case scenario first.

    For me worse case scenario is always being physically hurt or yea, I like strength in numbers, like being in a herd. (At the same time, I'm very against the herd I'm so contradictory smh)
    Lol, yeah, I feel you. I tend to be very protective of my family and friends but I don't like to just "follow the herd" or follow the mainstream for the sake of the mainstream. That was one thing that always baffled me about 6 descriptions. I feel like 6 is such a mental, analytical thing to me, and for me it's hard to imagine a 6 just being a yes-man or going along with the group for the sake of it. I feel the compulsion to dig into everything to understand it and make sure it's what I want before consenting to it.

  3. #53
    Honeyed Water Array thoughtlost's Avatar
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    May 2013


    So far, I truly believe that I am a 6w7. I have known it for ...some months now, maybe 2 or 3 months.

    At first, I was typed as a 2 by someone else on another forum. I had no idea what enneagram truly was at that time, so I accepted it until I read it about it ...and then I didn't want to be a two, lol. But I didn't want to deny the fact that I was a 2 because, well, maybe I am that annoying ...I'd hate lie to myself and ignore my true tendencies ( see how sixish that sounds??). So I battled with myself about it for a while.

    Then... I realized I am not a two. Even at my worst times, I never disintegrated to eight. I don't feel the need to enforce my id on others. Also, I don't understand integrating for 4. I sort of feel empty, but I don't think it's due to a lack of love for the self or not willing to satisfy what my id-ego (whatever it's called) wants. I think it's because I doubt myself often and I have a hard time truly believing in myself as a human. So self-doubt can breed hatred for the self (that was when I was at a bad time). ...So I can see how it looks like it's a lack of love for the self, but I see it more as knowing (in a more visceral sense, not in an intellectual sense) that I don't mesh well with my environment, I felt that my perspective on things (simple, high school matters... *shaking my head*) was belittled, and since I was 16-17 at the time ...I wasn't even totally sure of my "perspective". I just knew (or...rather, "believe" that I was in an environment that didn't allow for me to grow in a way that would be beneficial to me, but I tended to blame myself a tid bit more and think that something was wrong with me.

    So here I am. Still, thinking I am a 6. If not, then... maybe a four. ...But I feel that I smile too much (and too awkwardly) to be a four, lol xDDDDD I try (...well, I don't actually try) to be pleasant/goofy/extroverted/feelery when I am around people I am nervous around, but at the same time I am expressive/feelery/goofy around those who ...well, I am goofy/extroverted mainly around type 9s. I FUCKING LOVE type 9s. The ones I hang around are very accepting of whatever comes to my mind and don't judge me. They understand where I am coming from. Anyway...

    So yeah. @lume. I decided to mention, you because I feel like this could help you out. I feel like, at times, not all the time, type 6s who are strong on feeling may appear to be a heart type. To me, you come across as shy-ish. You are afraid of being discredited as a person so you play "sweet," as you say you do, but you're not totally interested in having people love you or feel like being a selfless person who aspires to only do good for others. Correct me, if I am wrong... but this is just to give you something to think about.

    Edit: Sorry, lume. I didn't see that you've found a type! If you like 4w5 best that is great, if you feel the need to ignore what I say that's fine ^_^

  4. #54


    Yes, what you said about me is true I guess. The thing is, most of the time Im not even playing sweet, not actively. I just come across as sweet. Most of my friends who dont know me very well tend to think of me as a little rabbit, sweet and mostly bumbling and clumsy. It happens that friends go ond help me with putting on my jacket because at that moment I dont seem to be able to do it alone. (Because Im just stuck in my head and thinking) But that happens sooo often. Its like that happened my whole life haha. I can also be rather aggressive, but that just happens twice a year I think.
    And I dont think that I can decide on head or heart type either. If my feelings arent involved I can be the best analytical and logical thinker, but if they are involved I can be so illogical. Im hypersensitive, but I hardly ever show it. I think there are 3 people in my life who really know how sensitive I am, because Im always playing strong. And I sometimes have this weird attitude, where Im a sarcastic ass, making every comment down on a "funny" way as I see it, but in reality Im just being mean.

    I really want to know which type I am. I cant figure it out. I think ist something 4,5,6 but I dont know.

  5. #55


    I think actually the biggest problem is that there's a lot of confusion about what being a 6 is all about, much more so than with the other types. I had myself typed as a 6 at one point (I have no idea what my type is now) but I've found that some 6 profiles describe me really well, and others are totally off. I'm not just talking about having a couple of traits that I don't entirely relate to, I mean that they're pretty much the opposite of what I'm like, what I value, ETC. Maybe that is to be expected, because of the phobic/CP distinction, but I don't really relate to either side of that dichotomy. I am far too cautious to be CP, and I don't relate at all to the idea of doing things that scare me to prove I'm not afraid or throwing myself into action when I'm anxious, but I also don't relate at all to the phobic descriptions about "warmth" and submitting to/wanting to be protected by some authority. On the other hand, the anxiety, worst case scenario thinking/contingency planning, not easily trusting and wanting open and clear agreements, dislike of uncertainty/ambiguity/unpredictability, even the "yeah, but..." way of thinking, I relate to completely. My way of thinking, and many of the asumptions I make about the world, seem very 6, but I don't relate to the 6's authority issues.

    I think the Enneagram tries to fit several very different kinds of people into type 6, more than are accounted for by dividing the type into phobic and CP, so no wonder everyone is confused.
    Likes Patrick liked this post

  6. #56
    So she did. Array small.wonder's Avatar
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    I know some 6's in both camps. My 6w7 brother typed as a 6 immediately, which I already suspected he was but didn't tell him. When he read the description from The Wisdom of the Enneagram, he agreed with almost all of it. A male friend of mine is 6w5 and typed accurately his first time.

    I have two close friends who are 6, one of each wing. Both of them thought they were 1's at first, the 6w7 for almost a year before realizing and re-identifying as 6. I have two other friends who have not decided on type yet, but have narrowed it down to 1 and 6-- very interesting that. I should say that all of the aforementioned friends are female. I also know someone who identifies as 4w5, who I suspect is truly 6w5.

    I've read that 3 and 9 are also (in addition to 6) more likely to mistype before finding their true type. 6 due to indecision, 3 because they self deceive and 9 because they are said to incorporate aspects of all of the types.
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  7. #57
    Junior Member Array
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    I didn't figure out i was a 6 because the first like five or so 6 descriptions i read were all about SJs and/or Prussian 6s.
    once i read a good description, it was obvious. (aka-- reading ocean-moonshine was an amazing, and very slightly creepy, experience for me)
    (lots of helen palmer's six stuff are also good)
    but in between stage one and stage two were several years of assuming that i was a 7 because that's what i consistently tested as, and since a 7 typing didn't reveal anything deeply interesting I hadn't already known about myself and I didn't relate to the parts that I now realize are the most crucially 7ish bits of 7 (the fear of discomfort-- as opposed to just not liking discomfort like all humans). so i sort of dismissed enneagram as useless.
    later i heard of tritype and related to 3 and 9... still assumed i was a 7...

    but yeah. once i read a good 6 description there was no going back.

  8. #58
    Member Array PaperFromThePress's Avatar
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    I relate to this!

    That's really all I have to contribute here.

  9. #59
    Senior Member Array Patrick's Avatar
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    Default Took Me Years, and I'm Still Sixishly Unsure

    Guess the thread's been quiet for a year, but I just discovered it. And I just recently came around to typing myself as 6w5. So, here's my story, FWIW:

    I must've discovered the Enneagram fifteen or twenty years ago, and at first I took the RHETI and came up a Four. Looking back now, I'd say that's not at all unusual; lots of people mistype as Fours at first.

    For two or three years, I went around (mostly online) talking about what it's like to be a Four, and then I bumped into some real Fours who started questioning me. One in particular was pretty knowledgeable and helpful. She didn't pressure me, but she said she got more of a "Six vibe" from me, and some of the things I said didn't sound at all like Four to her. These discussions planted some doubt, and I started retesting and reevaluating myself.

    My search led me to type Nine this time. And if I was a Nine, I was definitely a 9w1, because there's just not much Eight in me at all, as far as I can see. Up to that point I had ignored Nine as a possibility, but now I "realized" that the type I had thought was so bland and boring was me after all. And ain't it just like the Enneagram to label you with the type you're most set against having?

    So, for three or four years, I went around (mostly online) talking about what it's like to be a Nine. I didn't get any argument this time. But in the back of my mind I wondered about a couple things: (1) How come I can't relate to my Eight wing at all? and (2) What about all the inner tension that keeps me from really relaxing and going with the flow, the way Nines are supposed to do? One day I was talking with my wife about criticism--explaining once again that I'm especially sensitive to criticism and that much of what she says comes across to me as critical even though she doesn't mean it that way--and suddenly it hit me that I'm probably a 1w9, not a 9w1.

    Then, of course, I went around (still online mostly) talking about what it's like to be a One. I got little or no argument of course (because who ever dares to argue with a One?). And I felt certain that I had finally gotten my type right. I was happy enough with that for another couple years or so.

    Ever since about 2003 I've been leading a Yahoo! discussion group on Keirseyan temperament theory, and we'd sometimes talk about Introversion and Extraversion. I always tested very clearly as an Introvert, so I had no doubt about it. But I couldn't relate to some of the things others said about Introversion: e.g., feeling drained of energy when around others. Also, it was perfectly clear to me that my motive for Introverted behavior was anxiety. I'd tense up and get nervous around people--especially strangers or authority figures--so I'd keep to myself instead, just for peace of mind.

    I also took an Oldham-types test a few weeks ago, and my type turned out to be Sensitive. That described the inner anxiety I've always felt, so I could easily relate to it. But now I had to look again at my Enneagram type. Ones are described as sputtering with anger sometimes, but anxiety is not a word that shows up much in descriptions of type One. I did some reading which reminded me that anxiety is very much associated with type Six. So I explored some comparisons of types One and Six.

    The clincher for me was that Ones tend to be certain, Sixes uncertain. For years I've been saying I'm the most indecisive person I know.

    Anyhow, further reading and rereading has convinced me that my type must be 6w5. So far, everything fits. And now that I'm seeing myself from this new perspective, I'm noticing things every day that make me slap my forehead and say, "Of course! It should have been obvious all along that my type is Six." It's as if everybody around me had been labeling me as a Six, in one way or another, all my life, and I was the only one who didn't notice the label. I guess I was too busy being a Six to step outside myself and see what type Six really means.
    "Some would say that extended meaningful conversation is a thing of the past. But they'd say it more quickly." (Tom Morris)

  10. #60
    Senior Member Array Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SubtleFighter View Post
    Greetings, fellow skeptics!

    I've noticed lately a lot of 6s on here talking about how they were mistyped for awhile or generally took a long time to come around to settling on being a 6. I was also watching the beginning of this video, and a woman on there says that she went to an enneagram seminar and was the only one who didn't know her type at the end, and the seminar leader said that meant she was a 6. I'm thinking that at least part of the reason for this trend is because 6s are naturally indecisive creatures. I have a couple other theories about this. But I'm wondering what everyone's thoughts are for why so many people take a long time to realize they are a 6.

    And I'm also wondering if there are any other weirdos out there like me who knew they were a 6 right away and never looked back
    I definitely did not realize I was a 6 off the cuff. However, I don't think that is impossible or even unlikely. It really just depends on ones knowledge of enneagram, their ability to apply abstracted data to the self in a more objective regard, and of course -- the ability to introspect. I mean, quite a few writings will discuss how those in very healthy levels come to recognize self in many ways, identifying with more than 1 e-type.. but in all honesty, the vast majority of people I now IRL are not operating in high-levels of functionability. That could of course, just be me attracting people at similar levels of health, or my perception of their health. Whatever. IMO, it is really more often than not, an issue with introspection or ability to abstract and apply. But I think that if there is a stronger than typical correlation of 6's not being able to realize their e-type, it will come from the very fixation of 6. Doubting. Ones inner authority, but also the authority of others. So it would seem that the very nature of 6 sets them up to doubt their own self-perception, yet also the testing of some hum-drum, limited 70 question personality test, often behaviorally based. (I know this was the crux of it for me). It actually makes perfect sense to me. Add to that, that many e6's who Ping-Pong from anxiety states will, behaviorally at least, express strong duality. (The finger print of 6).
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

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