Quote Originally Posted by Forever_Jung View Post
This didn't happen exactly like I'm telling it, I am just sort of summarizing the situation so I can illustrate the principle:

Let's say this girl I was seeing sort of blew me off or something, but had an explanation. I was wounded but I understood. I really did understand, I could see their point of view.

Then I tell my friends about it, and they slap me in the face (not literally) and go: WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? How do you let people treat you like that? Look how hurt you are, I hate seeing you like this. You tell her that you're not gonna be her backup, blah, blah. Then they slowly construct an argument that convinces me she done me wrong.

So I go back to the girl, and say: Yo baby, why you gotta play me like that?

And then she convinces me she wasn't playing me, and then I go: I KNEW IT, I shouldn't have let them sway me, I always do that!

Then I go back to them and they slap me again and go: SHE DID IT AGAIN.

Then I notice the pattern, and have no idea who's right. I am obviously just getting pulled back and forth.

I have no idea how to decide "right". I don't really know what I want. I feel like people can interpret events in so many ways that it's impossible to know what is the right one. So it seems like it doesn't really matter what I feel or do. I might as well pick the one that makes people less mad.

But then I think: Wait a minute, that sounds nineish, don't let them influence you, so I try to look within and I all I see is a fly flying around and a tumbleweed tumbling. I try my best to decide what's right for me and me alone, but I end up regretting it by alienating both sides with my actions.

I feel like a blind bull in a China Shop who's had too much to drink.

Is this a 9 thing, an unhealthy 9 thing, or just something that isn't related to type at all?

If you experience this, have you found a way to combat it that you would like to share?
This used to happen to me often. Eventually I just started to study the personality types of everyone. If you know what your girls personality type is then you can better understand why she is doing some of the things that she does which will let you know for sure when she is and isn't playing you and why. And if you study other people's personalities you can determine if they are trying to manipulate you. On top of that if you just focus more on becoming healthier and growing yourself, you will begin to become more self-determined which is a quality experienced by a type 9 at level 1.
Self-determination is rationally weighing the information you have and then making your own decisions based off of that information. It's not siding with anyone but yourself in the end.