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  1. #1
    Senior Member Cloud of Thunder's Avatar
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    Default The Core of a Type 3

    I read in one of the Enneagram texts Personality Types that average to unhealthy 3s often lack something "essential" about themselves. I'm curious about what the core or the inner workings of a 3 look like, because it strikes me as pretty malleable. Any thoughts?

  2. #2
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    The essence they is lack a sense of self-worth & true identity (what all the heart triad types lack). 3s don't know who they are or what they want apart from external things they use to define themselves & establish their worth (ie. their achievements). Their shame motivates them to find self-worth in what they accomplish.

    However, they will appear self-confident, assured, etc. They will avoid their feelings of shame. This can make it hard for them to identify their enneagram type. Instead, they may focus on the identity they've formed via their accomplishments and/or what they perceive as valuable.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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    Senior Member Cloud of Thunder's Avatar
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    Do you think wings play a role in this? I think both types of 3 have different ways of gaining that self-worth they seem to lack.

  4. #4
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Absolutely. The 3w4 strives after achievements which will set them apart & accomplishing things in a unique, individual way, and they may have an elitist streak so they shun too mainstream/mundane success. The 3w2 strives after achievements which will put them in positions to help/inspire others & accomplishing things in a way which seems self-sacrificing &/or desirable to many people. You can see some 3s influenced a bit by each wing, but one will dominate in its influence. The 3w4 then often seems less connected to people, a bit more aloof at times, and the 3w2 often seems more outgoing, more open to others.

    They are not getting their self-worth from being unique or being helpful/desirable though. The sense of value is still from what they achieve, but yes, their different avenues of achieving will be influenced by the wing.

    My 3w4 ex would sometimes scorn the "typical" route of achieving success, like going to college, although there was also this bit of 4 envy there, where he simultaneously envied those who had this typical success and wished he could have it so easy. People who followed the crowd annoyed him, yet he wanted their success still. He sometimes claimed he wanted this success in order to help others, but this seemed like a whitewashing of his ambitions & hiding his need to boost his own self-esteem. Accomplishing things in his own way trumped being someone successful enough to aid others. And the bottom line was that his achievements were what he was basing his self-worth on, not just being unique/different from others.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  5. #5
    I'm not Trunks
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    The 3w4 strives after achievements which will set them apart & accomplishing things in a unique, individual way, and they may have an elitist streak so they shun too mainstream/mundane success. The 3w4 then often seems less connected to people, a bit more aloof at times. They are not getting their self-worth from being unique or being helpful/desirable though. The sense of value is still from what they achieve, but yes, their different avenues of achieving will be influenced by the wing.
    Yes, this sounds more like me. (at least)

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