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  1. #11
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Professors and bossess only hold power if you have no money on your own...in that case yes, the situation is complicated. If you have some savings, and they're making your life hell, you really need to consider telling them off. Or simply walking out, or trying to never interact with them again.
    now THIS I can agree with
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  2. #12
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    It's not such a huge problem anyway, I'd just like to know if there's an easier way to handle 8s. Seems like aversion is best, which I'm pretty good at already, and I think it can work well against some 8s. However, I would like to help other people avoid getting stomped on, especially when I care about them - hell, even if I don't know them. I just thought of someone I can speak to about it who would definitely know what to do, I'm surprised I didn't think of it earlier.
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  3. #13
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Asterion View Post
    It's not such a huge problem anyway, I'd just like to know if there's an easier way to handle 8s. Seems like aversion is best, which I'm pretty good at already, and I think it can work well against some 8s. However, I would like to help other people avoid getting stomped on, especially when I care about them - hell, even if I don't know them. I just thought of someone I can speak to about it who would definitely know what to do, I'm surprised I didn't think of it earlier.
    There is no advantage to raging back at them. It won't work anyway. The other issue is, you can't save other people like you are thinking. They need to develop backbone, especially in the case of completely unprofessional behavior. It's simply not acceptable and I'm not quite sure why other don't see it that way.
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  4. #14
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Asterion View Post
    Thankfully, my dad is pretty good, isn't very controlling, he just can't hold it back sometimes. He knows what he's like in positions of authority, and like some other 8s I've seen, he avoids putting himself there.
    Yup, that's one way an 8 avoids being controlling.

    The main culprit is my boss, what I've learned is to not show signs of betrayal. I did that once, but now I know better, and she's not quite as rough on me. But I watch her rip into innocent people that try their best to help, she drives them to tears, and I desperately want to step in and defend them, but I feel that I could be wrong. Maybe they did something worthy of getting yelled down.

    Going to a person above her would be a reasonable course of action if it escalates. But it would look like betrayal.

    I try to reason with her after she destroys people, help her to develop a bit of mercy instead of seeing people as tools to be used and discarded. I don't know if it helps though, she fired 3 people in front of everyone just today, and continually threatens to fire a lot of others. These people are new to the job...

    Other 8s do this same shit as well. It drives me insane.
    Your boss is nuts, 8 or not. Quite frankly, I'd be job hunting if I were you. People spend a lot of time in the workplace and because of this, why put up with abusive behaviour of being yelled at and treated like crap?

    As far as raging back at an out-of-control 8, that's a huge mistake. We can be like emotional mirrors. Fighting fire with fire is an 8 style and more often than not, with an out-of-control 8, you will lose.

  5. #15
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    This is how I feel when I am truly angry. It takes me a while to get there.. I get pissed off easily, but it subsides just as fast. I try not to allow myself to get to a point where I'm ever lashing out at others, because it feels like a lack of control over myself. But stressors, on top of one another, over time, they will build up to anger, a gal's only human.

    I can't say I love it when people don't stand their ground. I pick up on people walking on eggshells rather quickly--it's not what I desire when I'm stressed. I don't want people assuming that my anger means they can't say anything at all. I'm not going to murder them or anything.. I think Belle does it best.. Standing her ground while being a bit flexible and careful with her wording. There's no stopping me once I'm angry about something, it'll pass on its own with time.

    I'd say to just leave out anything that will keep the anger going or escalate the situation further. Your boss sounds batty no matter what--it's not professional to lose control like that in the work place.
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  6. #16
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    My difficulty with providing advice of how to handle an 8 is that this person is in a state that I've never personally entered. Don't yell or freak out like this, even in personal relationships nevermind the professional workplace. And firing 3 people in public? WTF? She's nuts.

    What works with me is to appeal to logic, as long as your logic is sound. Wouldn't try this if your logic isn't bullet-proof since it will piss me off even more. But if your logic is sound, it will ratchet down any emotions. But that won't necessarily work with other 8s since not all 8s are ENTJs.

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