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Thread: Emotional 5s

  1. #41
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    Oh yeah. I bring up those descriptions to illustrate that sensitivity is often seen as a fundamental trait of the type.

    Intellectual arrogance and distancing from the world as a form of self-protection from encroachment and intrusion and all that. Hell, at the relatively-naive-but-still-useful 10,000 foot view, all of the Enneagram types can be said to boil down to coping mechanisms for certain sensitivities. Whether the notion of sensitivity is "objectively true" (c'mon, we're talking about typology) is secondary for me; all I know is that it has some personal significance and so I embrace it.

    The emotional origins also may not be true for all people--it's just one person's description, after all--but it did happen to ring true for me. I work with a lot of researchers, but I'd only peg a few for sure as 5s. The 5-est 5 I know told me that he quickly learned to fend for himself, coming home to an empty house and making his own snacks, and so on. That's similar to my upbringing; attention and help was focused in places other than me, and I felt rejected, so I learned not to expect or ask for help or friendship. My ego hinged on self-sufficiency and gaining enough competency to properly deal with the world myself.

    Like any coping mechanism, that only took me so far. I'm mostly past all of that business, but I still don't like being imposed upon, and that tendency still going to color my interactions with the world and with other people to some extent.

    Now that the world isn't so frightening, bridging the gap and gaining trust is key for me. Completely intellectualizing this for a moment--I gauge out potential alliances in general or with specific issues, and I fare better with people who are able to communicate beyond the level of "just words" and are smart enough to realize (or at least think about), in general, what is really going on.

    In general, I do allow myself to develop emotional connections, and I've embraced my strong empathetic streak.


    I've gotta make a mental note to look at Boundaries theory..

  2. #42
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    What I see most uncertain about all this subject of 5's and emotions, is the cause-effect order of the problem.

    I mean, is generally accepted that the origin of 5's detachement from feelings is hypersensibility, which causes them to build defenses, and this in turn causes their isolation.
    But I see it also working the other way around (at least in some cases): Their naturally introverted personality draw away people, and doesn't help precisely to make friends; thus they have to learn how to survive alone and without help, and thus they become detached and aloof.

    As for the boundaries or thin-skin theory, probably many 5's aren't as tough and cold as they look, but I don't think either that they're more thin-skinned than the rest of the types.
    Actually, I've always had the impression that outgoing, warm and sociable people are more fragile and sensible than introverts. I mean, it's easier to hurt them, because they expect much more from other people and depend on them.
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  3. #43
    Senior Member Richardsen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by taylor17387 View Post
    What I see most uncertain about all this subject of 5's and emotions, is the cause-effect order of the problem.

    I mean, is generally accepted that the origin of 5's detachement from feelings is hypersensibility, which causes them to build defenses, and this in turn causes their isolation.
    But I see it also working the other way around (at least in some cases): Their naturally introverted personality draw away people, and doesn't help precisely to make friends; thus they have to learn how to survive alone and without help, and thus they become detached and aloof.

    As for the boundaries or thin-skin theory, probably many 5's aren't as tough and cold as they look, but I don't think either that they're more thin-skinned than the rest of the types.
    Actually, I've always had the impression that outgoing, warm and sociable people are more fragile and sensible than introverts. I mean, it's easier to hurt them, because they expect much more from other people and depend on them.
    Neee... Not so true...
    There are much more Extravert 5s than you think. ENTP and ENTJ specially. Not too much but they are quiet common.

    And anwering your other point... Im a 5 and im thin skinned and sensitive . And i know that are many 5s who actualy feel the same and the notice this. 4wingers can be very emotional and if you add Sx insctint the vulnerability is quiet evident.
    John Lennon, Kurt Cobain, Van Gogh, Patti Smith, are all 5s and ¿Do they look unsensitive or more specificaly RATIONAL?
    The 5 general description leans more to 6 wingers...


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  4. #44
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Min.../dp/0465007392

    I seem to recall that this book contains a Boundaries test. This thin-skinned 5w4 would like to know.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  5. #45
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    5's are only thin skinned when it comes to dealing with emotions whether the emotions come from themselves or other people. If you set emotions aside 5's can overcome quite a bit.

  6. #46
    Senior Member Owfin's Avatar
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    I see 5s as secretly fearing vulnerability, but they set up defenses for themselves because they are afraid of becoming helpless and broken by the world. The delusion of the 5 is that they need to protect themselves like this.

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