I finally concluded that I am a Sx 4
For many reasons, and the main reason are my extreme emotions...
I was reluctant to be Sx because I often see a inclination in the people to type themselves SXs because all of the intensity and sexual stuff. I wanted to know myself, not to choose the "coolest" type for me because I find it completely stupid...
(btw Im not refering to anyone in particular, only generally)
Well... I always felt a inferiority complex, a contradiction between go for what I want and a self loathing attitude that paralyzes me very much...
When I was a child I was extremely withdrawn and shy ( yeah... somewhat bullied). I had no control of my anger too.
This led me a malice between me and the external world.
I always felt attracted to conflictive situations, to extreme emotions, to shake my life a bit. I've done it very much but believe me... I end very exhausted at the end maybe because of my 5 wing and my guilt.
I don't consider myself a borderline, only tormented. This fits very well in a movie or a novel, but in the REAL life it's not funny or inspiring to me at all (Well maybe a little sometimes).
When I was in a relationship, all of my passion and love hunger turned into her. I wanted to absorb her, I wanted to be the only and most important person to her, and always I ended up dissapointed and very upset with her. Im not exagerating when I tell that in those times my mood depended completely in my relationship with her. (This may sound completely unhealthy, but maybe another Sx 4 would understand this attitude). When she broke up with me, after 8 months I fell into a depression, kicked out from my school, isolate myself and blabalablbabalba (I was 13 btw).
And to finalize... I smoke over 20 cigarrettes per day because of my anxiety problems
I want to share this with another Sx 4 or see if someone shares this FxCKING feelings of an average - unhealthy 4-INFP.