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  1. #11
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    Have you tried meditation? to be honest, I find meditation difficult because I latch onto my thoughts and feelings, however, it's been the only thing that has allowed me some form of 'non attachment' from my feelings.

    It depends on your beliefs and whether you'd be open to it, but Zen Buddhism and the likes of Eckhart Tolle (power of now) might be some paths you may want to go down. If a four can be fully present in the moment, the necessity or tendency to be immersed in the "inner drama" may settle.

    Partly I think this comes from learning to observe and watch feelings, learning to truly accept emotions, understanding that you are not your emotions, and from there, learning to accept the present and everyday reality. I.e. start saying yes. I've found that the reason why I also have trouble "following how I feel" is because I have a deep rooted non acceptance and resistance to reality.

    I don't want to get up.... but it's not because I'm tired. I'm tired, but it's not the reason i'm still sitting here. I'm resisting doing what I need to do, because I simply don't want to do anything. I want to sit and play in my emotion and feelings all day, as reality can both bore and overwhelm me. Latching onto my feelings is comfortable. Getting lost in myself (often negative self feelings) gives me control, depth, an excuse not to deal with external things. It's escapism. It's the classic neurotic battle. I create more inner (and outer) drama than is necessary. I turn simple things into complex things.

    Saying "yes" to what's happening though, takes away that necessity for drama. Everything just is. It's harmony of feeling, action and being. Equanimity.

  2. #12
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    If there's a skill paramount to the four, it may be the ability to objectively reflect on the self and external entities, rather than ruminate.

    It's like going from first to third person. Huge difference. May result in some great changes too.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Adasta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    I tell you, fellow 4's, the other problem I've had is learning how to take action without consulting how I feel about it. Many of my problems in life go back to only doing what I feel like doing, and obviously this is a recipe for disaster. But this is something I have been able to improve on, because again.. I see how I need to align my actions with the external reality. "Don't go to work today and I might get fired." "Don't send that christmas card and I'll be on someones shit list" haha.
    I somewhat relate to this tactic. However, it's more a feeling of "I go to work today because that's what people in this world do." It won't stop me from being bored at work, for example, but it sort of reminds me that I just have to play the game to get through. I have a constant feeling that the world is made in another's image (XSTJ?) and that I'm outnumbered so I should just play along. I suppose it's that I weigh up how this all might affect me in the future.
    That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
    Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
    Of any world where promises were kept,
    Or one could weep because another wept.

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