Santosha
New member
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2011
- Messages
- 1,516
- MBTI Type
- HUMR
- Enneagram
- 6
- Instinctual Variant
- sx
I just got done reading through some threads on another forum about E4's and relationships. Wow! I can't even begin to convey how good it feels to see others talking about the same re occuring problems that I have. Many of my relationships start out beautifully, and can be very insightful and wonderful for some time.. but eventually the reality of my partner comes shattering down, and I have found very few people that seem to need the intensity and involvement that I prefer. (Only the 2 and the 6 actually). I have often struggled to get my needs met, and I know part of this is learning to detach from my feelings and embrace reality more, but it is definately one of the greatest struggles of my life.
I have, at one time or another, experienced almost all the unhealthy traits of e4's in relations. Envy, jealousy, dissapointment, withholding affection, ridiculous idealism, drama, being too emotionally volatile. It almost seems to the be nature of the beast, since E4's tend to want to feel the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows. Obviously I'm not proud of this, and I am working very hard to overcome it. Actually I have been for along time now. The thing is that personality does not change easily. It takes extraordinary motivation to make even modest changes that are true and permanenet. But I constantly remind myself that while behaviors are a reflection of the personality, they are not THE personality. Behaviors can be altered, personality can manifest in different ways, thought processes can be corrected and re-routed.
Anyhow, I am beginning to develop the opinion that while it is the E4's responsibility to grow and overcome, there are definately certain types that will naturally aid in this growth, and certain types that will be naturally prone to hindering it. And this is really what I'm getting at here.
E4's.. what are your thoughts or experiences with your e-type and others? Do you think there is a natural compatibility between these types?
I am not failing to realize that any healthy type could potentially have a great relationship.. ofcourse. But I do think that the E4 romantic may actually put the greatest emphasis and value on their intimiate relations, while also seeming to stuggle with it the most. So if there is (generally) a natural compatibility, I don't think it should be overlooked.
What do you think?
I have, at one time or another, experienced almost all the unhealthy traits of e4's in relations. Envy, jealousy, dissapointment, withholding affection, ridiculous idealism, drama, being too emotionally volatile. It almost seems to the be nature of the beast, since E4's tend to want to feel the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows. Obviously I'm not proud of this, and I am working very hard to overcome it. Actually I have been for along time now. The thing is that personality does not change easily. It takes extraordinary motivation to make even modest changes that are true and permanenet. But I constantly remind myself that while behaviors are a reflection of the personality, they are not THE personality. Behaviors can be altered, personality can manifest in different ways, thought processes can be corrected and re-routed.
Anyhow, I am beginning to develop the opinion that while it is the E4's responsibility to grow and overcome, there are definately certain types that will naturally aid in this growth, and certain types that will be naturally prone to hindering it. And this is really what I'm getting at here.
E4's.. what are your thoughts or experiences with your e-type and others? Do you think there is a natural compatibility between these types?
I am not failing to realize that any healthy type could potentially have a great relationship.. ofcourse. But I do think that the E4 romantic may actually put the greatest emphasis and value on their intimiate relations, while also seeming to stuggle with it the most. So if there is (generally) a natural compatibility, I don't think it should be overlooked.
What do you think?
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