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  1. #1
    Senior Member VagrantFarce's Avatar
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    Default 5s, 6s, 7s - Letting Go of "Knowing"

    This article really made me smile, and I think it's precisely what the 3 fearful/mind types go through in life. I wonder if other types respond to it as well?

    http://www.thehealthylifecoach.com/c...go-of-knowing/

    Last week, I invited you along on my surrendering journey. My question was this: what are you surrendering to right now? I’m surrendering to not knowing what will happen if I give pregnancy and motherhood another shot, post miscarriage. Which led me to ponder this familiar question: Do I really know anything?

    There’s a doozy for my inner brainiac! What? Not know stuff?

    She and I have had this discussion before, but she’s still a big fan of knowing stuff. Yet, truly, I cannot know what will happen in the next moment, much less the next day, week, month, or year. I can plan. I can intend. I can imagine. I can dream.

    But I can’t know.

    Aghhhhhhhh! (Inner brainiac screaming. Poor thing.)

    I was trained in school to learn, study, analyze, and know. My intellect was honed and my intuition buried. Which is odd, because what I actually need, to navigate my life successfully, is a lot less intellect and lot more intuition. Because intuition actually does KNOW. It knows in a deeper, less verbal, more visceral, somewhat indescribable way. I need to lead my life with intuition, and apply my intellect to intuitive information.

    I don’t know anything with my intellect. But I KNOW lots of things with my intuition. Listening to it is a little like walking a tightrope, but being willing to fall into the big, safe net below. I can be willing to let go of the need to know with my mind. I can walk this motherhood tightrope – heck, I might even attempt a little fancy flip or something. My intuition will guide me, and I will know what I need to know, when I need to know it.

    Would you like to walk the tightrope with me? Maybe you’re already a mother, but maybe there’s something new you’d like to do – your version of the tightrope. Possibly your intellect would like to know everything and see how it all works out before you take the first/next step. I hear ya, sister! What would it be like to let go of the need to know, together? I have a feeling that some group energy around this might serve all of us who are open to not knowing and ready to trust our intuition more and more. What are you ready to not know?

    In March, when I knew in my heart that I was about to miscarry, I felt angry at my intuition. Why tell me something like that in advance? I didn’t want to KNOW.

    Except that I did want to know. I’ve spent years opening back up to my intuition, being willing to listen to that deeper voice within, and learning to trust it. I’ve opened that can of worms, and now I KNOW a lot more than I used to. It can be disconcerting, but at the same time, there’s a sense of preparedness that comes with intuitive knowing. It helped me to know I was miscarrying, even if I did have a little fight with it at first. It made it easier to surrender. In general, I trust myself a lot more now that I KNOW things.

    I trust that whatever is happening, it is actually serving me, even if it’s painful or uncomfortable. I learned that big lesson from dealing with vulvodynia and interstitial cysititis. Even though I argued against those experiences for a while, in the end I saw why I needed to have them to become the person I truly wanted to be. After I saw that, I was able to trust that new painful experiences were not there to beat me down, but to help me return to myself in some way.

    I’m pretty sure I’ll be returning to myself in some form or another for the rest of my life. The difference is, now I am willing to walk that humble path and trust the KNOWING rather than try to steer clear of pain by intellectually choosing my route. (I said willing, mind you. I didn’t say I do it all the time, or perfectly!) I’m willing to not know, and to KNOW. I’m willing to trust the sense of visceral understanding that sometimes cannot be put into words.

    To embark on the pregnancy and motherhood path again, (though I don’t think I’ve actually veered off the path, come to think of it) I have to love my intellect, be kind to it, and then remind it that it just can’t know. Then I have to look into my heart, trust my inner guidance, and take the next step on the tightrope. Yes, I am afraid. I allow the fear to surface as I step into the unknown. I feel it. I get guidance from it. And I keep stepping.
    Hello

  2. #2
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    tl;dr, sorry. what's the juice?

  3. #3
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    tl;dr, sorry. what's the juice?
    Definitely this. Mmmm, orange juice.



    Quote Originally Posted by VagrantFarce View Post
    This article really made me smile, and I think it's precisely what the 3 fearful/mind types go through in life. I wonder if other types respond to it as well?

    http://www.thehealthylifecoach.com/c...go-of-knowing/
    Interesting article. It's kind of enlightening to see the perspective of a 5/6/7. Personally, I don't see myself in that article at all, and I've never really worried so much about not knowing. The only times not knowing bothers me is when I'm taking a test and I get to a question where I have to guess, or when I'm given ambiguous instructions where I'm not sure what to do. Otherwise, I don't have to know everything and I can venture into the unknown without much worry. I can go to the store and buy something without knowing if I'm getting the best deal or buying the right brand, and it doesn't bother me one bit. I can take on a challenge without knowing if I'll succeed, and I just don't worry about it. I prefer to just take things as they come and not try to anticipate too much.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Intuition to me doesn't entail anything that special, rather mysterious maybe. But it is experience based. I've worked at my present job for so long now that I can react "instinctively" and proactively based on a "funny little voice" in my head that tells me something's up at work. Or maybe it's just a feeling first and then a thought. But it comes from a non-logical process which is, as I said, based on experience but with unknown psychological origins. And it takes years to develop.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  5. #5
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    Hmmm...it seems like a type 5, specifically, wrote this...obsession with intellect, sounds like.

    On the other hand, my mother calls me "a walking encyclopedia" because of my ability to spit out facts about this or that, and how I will sometime respond to questions with things people don't want to hear (like yesterday..."that's a symptom of OCD"...because, well, IT IS...not what the person wanted to hear, but typical of me spitting out answers...I used to do it in college too, and that's why I got good grades).

    HOWEVER, I also realize how much I don't know. I don't have the 5 obsession with academic type knowledge, I really don't. I don't want to go to grad school. I don't really have that much of an obsession with intellect. However, I'm also not an NT, nor am an INFJ (the most NT-ish of the NFs, supposedly).

    So my point is that the lady in the article is probably a 5, an NT, maybe even both.

    as an xSFP 6w7, I do understand the frenetic need to be RIGHT though. I want to be RIGHT. RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT.

    It's one of the things I'm learning to let go of with Taoism. It's really hard for me though. Everything in me seems to resist it in certain situations. So I guess that's the Counterphobic Enneagram 6 in me, coupled with immature Te or something.

    I'm learning the concept of wu wei. At least I'm trying. The results probably aren't especially obvious yet though because I've only just begun and it's a MAJOR SPOT OF GROWTH FOR ME, A MAJOR PSYCHOLOGICAL/EMOTIONAL/SPIRITUAL HURDLE.

    I'm practicing an exercise of not having to explain or defend when I disagree. I'm at least trying to do it less, ha.

    So in that sense, yes, I relate to the overall concept of the article.

  6. #6
    Senior Member VagrantFarce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    I don't have the 5 obsession with academic type knowledge
    For the record, Fives aren't automatically academic types.

    I just like the distinction the article makes between knowing (i.e. planning, thinking, modelling - falling back on the mind) and KNOWING (intuition, taking direct action, instinct - learning to quiet the mind).
    Hello

  7. #7
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    (the most NT-ish of the NFs, supposedly).
    ...an indirect reason for my belief that John Lennon's type is INFJ, yet he is so often typed as INTP and/or type 5. I knew an INFJ female just like that, very scholarly and intellectual, but she tested as INFJ, and a 4 with even wings.

    Just an off-topic observation.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  8. #8
    Intergalactic Badass mujigay's Avatar
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    Fascinating.

    My gut feeling, my intuitions, have always been a huge part of me, so this is an almost alien point of view. Not that I disagree with a thirst for knowledge, only that I could never shut off that inner ear in that way.
    1w9 sx/sp
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  9. #9
    Glycerine
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    @Marmie Dearest: I am 95% sure that I am 5w6 and by no means am I an academic type. To be honest, most of academia bores me. My knowlege-seeking usually revolves around what makes people tick, motivations. Most of my "ideas" are about people in a general sense.

  10. #10
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    The trick is distinguishing fear from intuition. It's not always easy to tell.

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

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