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  1. #51
    brainheart
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    1) What is your type (5w4 or 5w6) and instinctual variant, and how positive are you that your variant is accurate?

    I'm a five/four hybrid, I don't know how else to put it. Sx/sp. I'd say around 82.3% positive.

    2) How would you describe your overall focus when alone versus in social situations?

    By myself I focus on my thoughts and whatever is engaging me. In social situations I focus on my thoughts and whatever is engaging me.

    3) How would you describe your interaction style when in a group?

    One on one or not at all.

    4) How would you describe your interaction style in one-on-one situations?

    If I dig the person, very engaged and enthusiastic. If I want to get away, I am pretty aloof and detached.

    5) How well does this description of your variant fit you?

    Pretty well, except I'm more considerate than I was when I was younger, less likely to completely vanish.

    6) How did you decide on your variant? Was there anything that gave it away, or else made you change your mind from what you previously thought it was?

    The general sx/sp variant on ocean moonshine describes me very well. The other sexual variant descriptions for five describe me really well, with sp coming in second.

  2. #52
    Secret Sex Freak Hazashin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    By myself I focus on my thoughts and whatever is engaging me. In social situations I focus on my thoughts and whatever is engaging me.
    Me likey.
    MBTI: INFP
    Enneagram: 6w7, phobic
    Tritype: 6-9-2
    Instinctual Variant: Sx/Sp
    Temperament: Pure Supine
    D&D Alignment: Neutral Good
    Political Stance: Solid Liberal
    Religious Views: Atheist

    Fi > Ne > Ti > Fe > Se > Si > Te > Ni

    "Forgiveness means letting go of the past." ~ Gerald Jampolsky
    "I am justice!" ~ Light Yagami, Death Note
    "The choices people make tell you a lot about a person, but the reasons [...] tell you even more." ~ Albus Dumbledore (paraphrased)

    Tatiana ♥

  3. #53
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VagrantFarce View Post
    Yearning for social status doesn't mean "I want to sit at the top of the pile and keep everyone else off of it", it simply means finding significance within a group. The clip I posted was titled "unhealthy" - the guy is obviously making up for self-attributed deficiencies by wanting to be right, right, right at the top. That isn't something that's exclusive to Fives, any social type can feel that way (for another example in popular media, look at Ricky Gervais' character in Extras).

    What makes him a Five is that his energy is drawn in very tightly, and then focused toward gaining that status - he is hoarding his time and energy in order find significance within the group. Again, that group can be big, small, even insignificant to most other people. The point is that his focus is on groups, and his relation to them.
    Okay, so So/Sp is still possible. But I can't be sure what my focus is. What specifically is the focus of an Sp five?

  4. #54
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    1) What is your type (5w4 or 5w6) and instinctual variant, and how positive are you that your variant is accurate?
    Definite 5w6; highly probable sp/sx

    2) How would you describe your overall focus when alone versus in social situations?
    I can focus on something as intently as I prefer only when alone. When with others, whether it be a social or work setting, my attention is divided. The enjoyment of being with friends, and the productivity of working with colleagues, make these situations acceptable, but if I really want or need to focus on something, I need solitude. Having someone close to me like my SO in the same room but quietly involved in something else is acceptable also.

    3) How would you describe your interaction style when in a group?
    It depends upon the group. In a large social group, I tend to observe, then pick and choose which person or smaller group, if any, to join. If none seem appealing, I find something more worthwhile, possibly away from the group. In a large work-related gathering, I am usually trolling for information, or to make contacts. Medium social groups are the worst; too small to disappear easily, too large to have meaningful 1-on-1 interactions usually. In small groups of close friends, I am more likely to open up and discuss freely with all present.

    4) How would you describe your interaction style in one-on-one situations?
    Depends upon how well I know the other person. If it is a good friend, then we usually end up in a wide-ranging, no holds barred discussion. I've compared this to flying. It is the most enjoyable form of social enounter I experience. With casual acquaintances or strangers, the encounter is usually utilitarian, or forced/uncomfortable, at least until some common ground is established.

    5) How well does this description of your variant fit you?
    The sp/sx description fits me very well. This part of the sx/sp description fits me as well, though:

    They have high standards for significant others. They must feel that they can share their emotions with a significant other without being judged. This is their private world that they share. Relationships can be difficult, because individuals of this subtype will still want their own space and alone time, while at other times will want intense connection. Because the social instinct is least developed, this subtype is not very concerned with how others perceive them (except their intimates). This subtype is deceptive in that they may not seem to be especially intense - until they are engaged in a conversation they find interesting.
    This is why I don't claim to be 100% certain I am sp/sx. Sx/sp is possible as well (so is barely on the map).

    6) How did you decide on your variant? Was there anything that gave it away, or else made you change your mind from what you previously thought it was?
    I chose sp/sx over sx/sp after reading a variety of stacking descriptions and discussion of the two stackings over many months. As I mentioned, I am reasonably certain, but not 100% as I am with my 5w6 and INTJ identification.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  5. #55
    Member kissmyasthma's Avatar
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    1) What is your type (5w4 or 5w6) and instinctual variant, and how positive are you that your variant is accurate?

    5w6 so/sp. I'm not entirely certain, but it seems like the right fit.

    2) How would you describe your overall focus when alone versus in social situations?

    In social situations, my focus is on finding my place or role within a group. I listen intently in order to find that place, to add something relevant to a conversation, etc.. I think my focus in social situations is more intense than when I'm alone, unless my attempt to find a place is too difficult; then I become exhausted and discouraged, and want to be alone.

    3) How would you describe your interaction style when in a group?

    I shift between being an intense listener and observer, and being extremely talkative. My areas of knowledge/interest are usually what help me find a place in a group. Not being able to find that place makes me anxious and quiet, but once I do find it, I can be more at ease. I also observe and am very aware of group dynamics: who's "dominant," who's being left out, where I fit in (or don't), etc.

    4) How would you describe your interaction style in one-on-one situations?

    The fact that I've always thought of myself as "better" in one-one-one situations confused my thoughts about instinctual variants for a while, but now I'm positive that I'm not an sx dom. Meeting new people is often difficult for me, and meeting a large group of new people is a daunting idea. Figuring out a dynamic with one or two people at a time is much less intimidating. But when I'm in a one-on-one situation with someone that I know well, I shy away from intimacy and intensity. If I spend too much time alone with one person, I often feel very uncomfortable.

    5) How well does this description of your variant fit you?

    A lot of it fits very well. I often end up falling into the observer role and telling myself that I'm happy there, but what I really want is to find a more definite place. The bit about balancing "the need to withdraw and the need to connect to the larger social world" resonates with me, as does the idea of "pulling up fast and hard into self-pres mode" when feeling threatened. When I read this description to my sister, she said that it sounded a lot like me, but that I'm more "nice" and less "cold" than this description implied. When I'm at ease in a group, I do a lot of laughing and (according to my sister), I come across as "sweet" and considerate (however, I know that I'm often argumentative, as well).

    6) How did you decide on your variant? Was there anything that gave it away, or else made you change your mind from what you previously thought it was?

    I read a few descriptions of type 5 variants, and so/sp resonated the most. I also had my sister read a few, and she ended up agreeing. I've always known that I'm torn between wanting to find social groups to participate in/belong to, and needing my own space and time alone.

  6. #56
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kissmyasthma View Post
    1) What is your type (5w4 or 5w6) and instinctual variant, and how positive are you that your variant is accurate?

    5w6 so/sp. I'm not entirely certain, but it seems like the right fit.

    2) How would you describe your overall focus when alone versus in social situations?

    In social situations, my focus is on finding my place or role within a group. I listen intently in order to find that place, to add something relevant to a conversation, etc.. I think my focus in social situations is more intense than when I'm alone, unless my attempt to find a place is too difficult; then I become exhausted and discouraged, and want to be alone.

    3) How would you describe your interaction style when in a group?

    I shift between being an intense listener and observer, and being extremely talkative. My areas of knowledge/interest are usually what help me find a place in a group. Not being able to find that place makes me anxious and quiet, but once I do find it, I can be more at ease. I also observe and am very aware of group dynamics: who's "dominant," who's being left out, where I fit in (or don't), etc.

    4) How would you describe your interaction style in one-on-one situations?

    The fact that I've always thought of myself as "better" in one-one-one situations confused my thoughts about instinctual variants for a while, but now I'm positive that I'm not an sx dom. Meeting new people is often difficult for me, and meeting a large group of new people is a daunting idea. Figuring out a dynamic with one or two people at a time is much less intimidating. But when I'm in a one-on-one situation with someone that I know well, I shy away from intimacy and intensity. If I spend too much time alone with one person, I often feel very uncomfortable.

    5) How well does this description of your variant fit you?

    A lot of it fits very well. I often end up falling into the observer role and telling myself that I'm happy there, but what I really want is to find a more definite place. The bit about balancing "the need to withdraw and the need to connect to the larger social world" resonates with me, as does the idea of "pulling up fast and hard into self-pres mode" when feeling threatened. When I read this description to my sister, she said that it sounded a lot like me, but that I'm more "nice" and less "cold" than this description implied. When I'm at ease in a group, I do a lot of laughing and (according to my sister), I come across as "sweet" and considerate (however, I know that I'm often argumentative, as well).

    6) How did you decide on your variant? Was there anything that gave it away, or else made you change your mind from what you previously thought it was?

    I read a few descriptions of type 5 variants, and so/sp resonated the most. I also had my sister read a few, and she ended up agreeing. I've always known that I'm torn between wanting to find social groups to participate in/belong to, and needing my own space and time alone.
    All your answers sound a lot like me, and I think they might describe me better than the Sp/So answers. Still, at this point I'm starting to think that you can never really know your variant for certain. You can do all the research and decide that one variant description fits you best, and you can be sure about your variant and still be wrong. There are too many variables, too many what if's, and too much is undefined. How can you really know whether something is actually a valid indicator of an instinct when that hasn't been clearly defined? For instance, an So-dom might be interested in politics, or might not. There seem to be a lot of factors that may or may not indicate preference for a particular instinct, depending on the individual, so it becomes very difficult to actually determine one's instinctual variant.

    Even if you try to ignore all the little things and only look at what impacts you most and demands the most of your time, energy, and focus, at that point it becomes entirely subjective and is based on one's perception of oneself. Which instinct demands more of my focus? It depends on how I look at it and what examples I can think of at the time. I'm assuming there is one instinct that will affect you more and is stronger in you than the other two, but actually deciding which one that is can seem nearly impossible.

    The best I can really do is decide that I feel like an So/Sp, and at this time I can think of more examples where So was more important to me than Sp. It's a subjective decision, and I can't be sure that I'm right, and I might end up changing my mind later, but for now I think I'll go with So/Sp.

  7. #57
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    Such scrutiny leaves me with mouth agape.

    thinking of you

  8. #58
    Senior Member Silveresque's Avatar
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    1) What is your type (5w4 or 5w6) and instinctual variant, and how positive are you that your variant is accurate?
    5w4 So/Sp, and I'm about 70% sure about the variant.

    2) How would you describe your overall focus when alone versus in social situations?
    When I'm alone, I might be focused on what I happen to be doing at the time, or I might be reflecting on my day, specifically the social interactions I had. In a group, I tend to be focused on fitting in.

    3) How would you describe your interaction style when in a group?
    I don't feel comfortable in groups most of the time, so I rarely participate or speak up. About the only exception is if I feel I actually have something of value to contribute to the conversation. I can easily get discouraged if I feel like I don't belong, and when that happens I want to get away.

    4) How would you describe your interaction style in one-on-one situations?
    I usually become much more outgoing in one-on-one situations and I'm constantly trying to think of something I could add to keep the conversation going. If I can't think of anything to add, I might ask a question or change the subject. I feel awkward if I don't talk enough or if I let the other person do all the talking. Like in groups, if I feel like I can't relate to the other person at all I might feel discouraged and want to leave.

    5) How well does this description of your variant fit you?
    The last time I read it I didn't think it fit me that well. But when I read it now, I actually think it fits me very well. Maybe it's because I'm starting to understand myself better.

    6) How did you decide on your variant? Was there anything that gave it away, or else made you change your mind from what you previously thought it was?
    I'm finding out that I'm very concerned about having friends, and I'm starting to realize that I put more thought into social interaction that I had originally thought. Even when I'm alone, I often reflect upon the all the social interactions I had that day. Another big part of it is the description of So/Sp. I think the idea of needing to find a balance between the need to withdraw and the need to connect socially especially resonates with me. If I spend too much time alone, I can start to become really unhappy. I also think the blind spot fits me extremely well. I'm starting to realize that it's not enough to just be an observer. I need to actually be close to people and open up more, even though the observer role feels much safer.

  9. #59
    brainheart
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    This explains a lot of why my relationship with a 5 so/sp was an epic fail. We always had great phone conversations/chemistry because he would be focused on it (he probably also felt safe with the detachment of the phone... As did I.) Alone in person, we wouldn't really talk, just other stuff (fine by me!) When he'd be with his crew plus me, he'd be paying attention to the group, while to me the group was invisible and all of my attention would be locked on him. I felt ignored by the person I had confided my deepest darkest secrets to (not to mention shared intimacy) and he felt overwhelmed, I'm sure.

    Have other fives experienced relationship discord with fives of other instinctual variants?

  10. #60
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INA View Post
    5w4 90% sure. sp/so 70% sure. [90% on the SP; less so on the SO]
    On third thought, sp/so is no more accurate than sp/sx, based on the descriptions. All of the sx description fits, but it lacks some features mentioned in the so description that also fit. The described features are not set up point by point sx vs so, and many are not mutually exclusive. Better descriptions?
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
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