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  1. #1
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    Default Fives and humour

    Sense of Humor
    Need your opinions other fives:
    I'm always joking with a five who I like. Recently he broke his hand. Last year it was his leg. I made an joke via e-mail saying "the only organ in his body where there is a 100% guarantee that it can't be broken is his heart Since then he's starting acting more codly towards me. Although it was only a joke. I'm belong to an emotional type and he being the opposite always like teasing him. Was the joke off the mark?

  2. #2
    Senior Member VagrantFarce's Avatar
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    Maybe he took offense because he thought you were calling him cold and unemotional. The reason fives seem so distant and defensive is because they're guarding their emotions very closely, and don't always see themselves as unemotional and cold like everyone else.

    That being said, I don't know the guy - the only thing I know is that he's a Five. I can't give you advice on how to deal with him, because you're the only one here who knows anything about him. You can't sum up an entire person through the enneagram, no matter how hard some people like to try.

    I look at all these threads you make, and I can't help but think: stop looking at him through the enneagram and treat him as a human being.
    Hello

  3. #3
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    Default 5 and humour

    Quote Originally Posted by VagrantFarce View Post
    Maybe he took offense because he thought you were calling him cold and unemotional. The reason fives seem so distant and defensive is because they're guarding their emotions very closely, and don't always see themselves as unemotional and cold like everyone else.

    That being said, I don't know the guy - the only thing I know is that he's a Five. I can't give you advice on how to deal with him, because you're the only one here who knows anything about him. You can't sum up an entire person through the enneagram, no matter how hard some people like to try.

    I look at all these threads you make, and I can't help but think: stop looking at him through the enneagram and treat him as a human being.
    Thanks for the good advice. The only thing is that it's very difficult without the help of the enneagram getting to know him better resectively undertand him. He on the other hand seems to know exactly how I tick and even said so to me directly. I gave him an enneagram book from Helen Palmer 6 months ago. I am not sure if he read it or not.

    The thing is I really like him and am afraid to do something which will annoy him and put him off me because he for examples feels hurt or insulated by a remark I made or a certain action. In order to avoid this I am trying to read him - unfortunately unsucessfully.

    Not only that but he has made it obvious on more than one occasion that I am sometimes hiding behind a mask and not being myself. This annoys him tremendously and he start getting sarcastic. Then I start getting worried that he will like me less and start posting threads in the enenagram forum and so it seems annoy you too.

  4. #4
    Senior Member VagrantFarce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simbad View Post
    Not only that but he has made it obvious on more than one occasion that I am sometimes hiding behind a mask and not being myself. This annoys him tremendously and he start getting sarcastic. Then I start getting worried that he will like me less and start posting threads in the enenagram forum and so it seems annoy you too.
    If you want to use the enneagram for anything, I suggest working on taking off your mask. If you want him to like you, and it's your "mask" that annoys him, why not work on that? That's what the enneagram is for.
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  5. #5
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    Good ideal. Wow you're pretty direct and hard. If you don't mind me saying so.

  6. #6
    Senior Member VagrantFarce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simbad View Post
    Good ideal. Wow you're pretty direct and hard. If you don't mind me saying so.
    You're welcome. You can tell I'm not an emotional type.
    Hello

  7. #7
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    Eh, I'd recommend not caring.

    thinking of you

  8. #8
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    Pay attention to him. Concentrate and with time you will figure out how he ticks. He has probably spent most of his life working out how people act, and has possibly met someone very similar to you. In showing you his strengths of perception, he is prompting you to learn from him. It might also help if you ask him why he does whatever it is he does, especially if it is puzzling, even the most obvious things, always wonder why he asks certain questions, why he looks certain ways. Eventually you will be able to tell why. Do this for everyone you know and you will have developed a very useful skill.

    That joke was probably a little harsh, he probably feels that you are generalizing him. I have a good friend who is very much like this too, and like Vagrant said, he might seem cold, but he's definitely not on the inside.
    5 3 9

  9. #9
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    I agree with the others--I'm a five, and while I find a LOT of stuff funny, I don't think I'd take kindly to someone joking that I didn't have a heart or that I was cold unless it was a really good friend and I knew exactly where they were coming from. If not, I'd just assume the person only knows me superficially, and that's how they see me.
    Something Witty

  10. #10
    Glycerine
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    Yeah I would take that as a superficial criticism where they didn't really know me.

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