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  1. #1
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Default What are good pairings for 2's?

    I don't know much about the enneagram and I am curious about this.

  2. #2
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Good is very subjective and matchmaking with type is questionable. You probably are familiar with that spiel.

    To my recollection, some figures on the frequency of different pairings (which may be questionable) indicated that female 2s most frequently go with male 8s. Not sure about male 2s. Anyhow, frequency doesn't necessarily mean success. However, 2 and 8 does intuitively make sense.

    I imagine 2s work best with types that naturally and/or willing take on strong, leading roles. Assertive, aggressive types. The dynamic can be a little bit more complicated than that, however, since 2s usually want to be needed and want someone that will be open to care and support.

    Off the top of my head, 8, 3, 1, and 7 strike me as the better half. 8 is the most straightforward, because they are very strong types but have a sort of recklessness that could use a 2s support. 3s are take charge, success driven sort of people, though I suspect they would disregard 2s a little more than 8s do because they have considerably more polish than 8s. 1s seem appropriate if they are the sort of 1 that has externalized their reformism because they fighting, championing types that I think a 2 can really dig., 1s who are stuck on the internal level of reform are much more hesitant, anxious, insecure, etc and I think 2s wouldn't find them as appealing. 7s I'd say are the wildest card of the bunch. They can lead the way, but they are nothing if not unpredictable. They can form the pattern of 7 doing crazy fun stuff, and 2 taking care of them when it's time to wind down. I think they are the least likely of the four to impress a 2, however.

    The worst type for a 2? Another 2. It's probably the most ill-conceived of the same type couplings. 9s also probably have very little to peak a 2s fancy, being highly passive peace makers, after all.

    But remember, this was all immensely unscientific. It's just my wild guesses based on a lot of generalizations. I think any relationship can work, and furthermore my guess about the averages could even be totally off. Not only can people work something out with any other type, I specifically think any type can provide the sort of things another type is interest in, in their own way.

    On a somewhat less related note, I personally fancy 2s the most.
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  3. #3
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Poriferan View Post
    Good is very subjective and matchmaking with type is questionable. You probably are familiar with that spiel.
    Yes but it is interesting to hear what others think of this. If no one answers (except you ofc) that might also be telling about 2's.

    To my recollection, some figures on the frequency of different pairings (which may be questionable) indicated that female 2s most frequently go with male 8s. Not sure about male 2s. Anyhow, frequency doesn't necessarily mean success. However, 2 and 8 does intuitively make sense.
    Wow, I didn't realize it was that common. I do find myself very attracted to 8's, and my past attractions have proven this, but I would hope it's not the only type I'm attracted to.

    I imagine 2s work best with types that naturally and/or willing take on strong, leading roles. Assertive, aggressive types. The dynamic can be a little bit more complicated than that, however, since 2s usually want to be needed and want someone that will be open to care and support.
    Hmm. Yes I do want someone who needs me and is open to care and support, but I 'm starting to wonder if that's healthy for me to want that, and more importantly, if that even exists in other healthy people (most esp 8's?).

    Off the top of my head, 8, 3, 1, and 7 strike me as the better half. 8 is the most straightforward, because they are very strong types but have a sort of recklessness that could use a 2s support. 3s are take charge, success driven sort of people, though I suspect they would disregard 2s a little more than 8s do because they have considerably more polish than 8s.
    Wait, what? lol
    Is this true? What do you mean by polish?

    1s seem appropriate if they are the sort of 1 that has externalized their reformism because they fighting, championing types that I think a 2 can really dig.
    Just a note.... believe it or not, I prefer calm, nice, mellow, mentally stable people for LTR's, not people who are always distraught or picking a fight with themselves or others. I would fear that someone who is always fighting can't relax (enough) and their moods would be contagious to me and I'd be afraid they'd turn their "fight" on me. I do like people who have a backbone and courage when it's needed though, which is something I really lack. For friendships, I probably do like the "fighters" more though.

    1s who are stuck on the internal level of reform are much more hesitant, anxious, insecure, etc and I think 2s wouldn't find them as appealing.
    If they don't get too depressed with life, I'd probably enjoy this sort of passion. The biggest problem I can see is that I have enough insecurity and hesitation for 2 people already. It would be like hanging around a clone of myself.

    7s I'd say are the wildest card of the bunch. They can lead the way, but they are nothing if not unpredictable. They can form the pattern of 7 doing crazy fun stuff, and 2 taking care of them when it's time to wind down. I think they are the least likely of the four to impress a 2, however.
    I'm not one of those 2's who enjoys being motherly with able adults. I dunno, maybe I'm a bad 2. With children or physically handicapped people I enjoy that but not with adults for more than a brief moment. This is because I like to have fun too and the person in the "caretaker" role (me) always has to be the responsible one, which is not fun, I see it more as just a necessary role that someone has to take. If I am forced to take on this role with an adult I will probably see as unfair if I'm always the one mostly doing it, and eventually back out of it.

    The worst type for a 2? Another 2. It's probably the most ill-conceived of the same type couplings. 9s also probably have very little to peak a 2s fancy, being highly passive peace makers, after all.
    I think I'd have to try these to know for sure.

    But remember, this was all immensely unscientific. It's just my wild guesses based on a lot of generalizations. I think any relationship can work, and furthermore my guess about the averages could even be totally off. Not only can people work something out with any other type, I specifically think any type can provide the sort of things another type is interest in, in their own way.

    Yes, I agree, I'm sure any type pairing can work. It was very interesting to get your perceptive though, even if it is unscientific.


    On a somewhat less related note, I personally fancy 2s the most.
    Really? Is that something you've always felt or grew into?

  4. #4
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Usually enneagram suggest types that share the harmonic triad, so 2-7-9, 1-3-5, 4-6-8, since those types share a similar attitude towards solving life problems. Besides, Giggly struck me more as a 9w1(primarly) or 6w7(secondarily) rather than a 2? In many ways your character reminds me of my girlfriends' which is a 9w1 (I think), that's why I'm saying.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  5. #5
    Whisky Old & Women Young Speed Gavroche's Avatar
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    I'd say every but 5.
    EsTP 6w7 Sx/Sp

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    "I don't believe in guilt, I only believe in living on impulses"

    "Stereotypes about personality and gender turn out to be fairly accurate: ... On the binary Myers-Briggs measure, the thinking-feeling breakdown is about 30/70 for women versus 60/40 for men." ~ Bryan Caplan

  6. #6
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    let's see. just my opinion but
    1: could work
    another 2: definitely
    3: probably. there needs are similar, but they're different enough to foster attraction.
    4: no, self absorbed individualist + manipulative altruist = FAIL
    5: no they're almost complete opposites and would not meet each others needs
    6: yes, the 6 is vulnerable while the 2 is supportive and encouraging
    7: probably, the seem like they would compliment each other
    8: fuck no. I don't know why a lot of sites say this is a good pairing, it absolutely is not in most circumstances. 8s do not stand for manipulation and will get very aggressive if they are manipulated. this will only cause the 2 to become 1) an abuse victim and 2) more manipulative, insistent, delusional and passive aggressive. this is one of the worst possible enneagram pairings I can think of (if I ended up with a 2 I'd probably go Darth Vader on his ass)
    9: definitely, this is actually the best pairing in my opinion
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  7. #7
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Enneagram institute has an interesting relationship analysis:

    http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/matrix.asp

    I have had good experience with the 2 and 9 pairing (me as the 9), although both of us were too young to express our needs properly, which led to the slow destruction of the relationship.

  8. #8
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Enneagram institute has an interesting relationship analysis:

    http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/matrix.asp

    I have good experience with the 2 and 9 pairing (me as the 9), although both of us were too young to express our needs properly, which led to the slow destruction of the relationship.
    in a lot of ways, 9s are like introverted 2s and vice versa. the main difference is that 2s usually like to go to others, 9s usually like people to come to them. 2s want to hug someone, 9s want to be hugged.
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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  9. #9
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    in a lot of ways, 9s are like introverted 2s and vice versa. the main difference is that 2s usually like to go to others, 9s usually like people to come to them. 2s want to hug someone, 9s want to be hugged.
    Yeah, that seems mostly right. Although when it was just the two of us, I had no problem initiating the hugs.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Honestly.. I think that the instinctual variant might be more important in a relationship pairing than the actual enneagram. Ofcourse it's just theory, but romantically I'v notced more problems (being an sx) with so and sp INTJ & INFJ, than I have with say.. an ESTJ Sx.

    And I tend to think that what it really comes down to.. is that you can learn to accept and love different processing (even if you don't fully understand it) as long as the ultimate goals, passions, etc. are in-tune.

    Like, I might understand INFJ's VERY WELL.. but if that INFJ has a strong SP variant, I almost always find myself seeking a deeper, more intense connection than they can comfortably give or maintain. I really do believe that that similar life goals and needs outweigh processing.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

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