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  1. #11
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    Honestly.. I think that the instinctual variant might be more important in a relationship pairing than the actual enneagram. Ofcourse it's just theory, but romantically I'v notced more problems (being an sx) with so and sp INTJ & INFJ, than I have with say.. an ESTJ Sx.

    And I tend to think that what it really comes down to.. is that you can learn to accept and love different processing (even if you don't fully understand it) as long as the ultimate goals, passions, etc. are in-tune.

    Like, I might understand INFJ's VERY WELL.. but if that INFJ has a strong SP variant, I almost always find myself seeking a deeper, more intense connection than they can comfortably give or maintain. I really do believe that that similar life goals and needs outweigh processing.
    I agree with this post
    except for the Sp dom part.
    Sp/So maybe, but Sp/Sx types can be very sensual once they get to know you. when an Sp/Sx locks on to you, they we take you into our world. we will make sure all of your needs are met and give you all the affection you need. perhaps you would prefer the more engaging, forward sexual energy of the Sx/So

    from enneagramunderground
    [QUOTE}sp/sx
    These people often have an earthy, mysterious quality to them. They are quietly intense, but to others may seem oblivious to the greater social world around them, instead favoring personal interests. They are slow to commit, but once they do it is with an attitude of life commitment, to the establishment of an impermeable bond. Others can be taken aback by how suddenly and completely this type can lock into them, and by the depth of understanding of the other's condition. They attach to others at an organic, root level, in contrast to the other subvariant's surface formality. Somewhat hesitant to enter new relationships, they instead preserve the select few enduring bonds they carefully form along the way. The sanctuary of home is of paramount concern, and this type takes particular delight in decorating their spaces to reflect their cherished sense of taste and depth. Depth and discrimination characterize this stacking.[/QUOTE]
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
    ENFP
    5w4>1w9>2w1 Sx/Sp
    SEE-Fi
    Papa Bear
    Motivation: Dark Worker
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Chibi Seme
    MTG Color: black/red
    Male Archtype: King/Lover
    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  2. #12
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Wow, I didn't realize it was that common. I do find myself very attracted to 8's, and my past attractions have proven this, but I would hope it's not the only type I'm attracted to.
    I think 2 and 8 is a very typical, traditional relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Hmm. Yes I do want someone who needs me and is open to care and support, but I 'm starting to wonder if that's healthy for me to want that, and more importantly, if that even exists in other healthy people (most esp 8's?).
    I think wanting an SO to need you would only be unhealthy if you come to the point that you hold them back in order to facilitate need. Being open to care and support sounds inherently healthy. And like-wise, I think it's healthy for someone to need you, in a sense. Maybe not really need like one needs air or food, but at least desires you at a priority higher than other desires. I think that's pretty normal for a romantic relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Wait, what? lol
    Is this true? What do you mean by polish?
    What I mean is that 8s let their hair down. They allow themselves to get openly angry and get down and dirty. 3s are much more guarded about the appearance of flaws, and as such I think that might create a greater resistant to support from a 2 that would imply there are flaws.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Just a note.... believe it or not, I prefer calm, nice, mellow, mentally stable people for LTR's, not people who are always distraught or picking a fight with themselves or others. I would fear that someone who is always fighting can't relax (enough) and their moods would be contagious to me and I'd be afraid they'd turn their "fight" on me. I do like people who have a backbone and courage when it's needed though, which is something I really lack. For friendships, I probably do like the "fighters" more though.
    Fair enough. To get more specific about 1s, they are often considered perfectionists. If they focus their scrutiny outward they see all kinds of errors that need to be fixed, so they become pro-active reformers. They don't tend to be nearly as conflict oriented or rough around the edges as an 8, though.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    If they don't get too depressed with life, I'd probably enjoy this sort of passion. The biggest problem I can see is that I have enough insecurity and hesitation for 2 people already. It would be like hanging around a clone of myself.
    Hah. You might have to hope that the person will become less depressed after they start a relationship with you. Me personal experience is that they are going to be pretty depressed when you meet them...
    Not necessarily a clone, though. There are many different ways to be insecure.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I'm not one of those 2's who enjoys being motherly with able adults. I dunno, maybe I'm a bad 2. With children or physically handicapped people I enjoy that but not with adults for more than a brief moment. This is because I like to have fun too and the person in the "caretaker" role (me) always has to be the responsible one, which is not fun, I see it more as just a necessary role that someone has to take. If I am forced to take on this role with an adult I will probably see as unfair if I'm always the one mostly doing it, and eventually back out of it.
    It can happen that way. I think the bargain a lot of people make in this situation is that they try to ride along for a lot of the fun at the price of knowing they'll be the ones cleaning it up later. In your case, personally, I think the bigger concern with a 7 is commitment issues.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I think I'd have to try these to know for sure.
    You want to try having 9 different relationships in sequence?


    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Yes, I agree, I'm sure any type pairing can work. It was very interesting to get your perceptive though, even if it is unscientific.

    Really? Is that something you've always felt or grew into?
    That's been my impression for as long as I've know about the enneagram. The profiles of the type 2 always appealed to me the most.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


    _________________________________
    INTP. Type 1>6>5. sx/sp.
    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right

  3. #13
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Wow, I didn't realize it was that common. I do find myself very attracted to 8's, and my past attractions have proven this, but I would hope it's not the only type I'm attracted to.
    8/2 relationships can work if you're both healthy, but they will be a disaster if one of you is unhealthy

    Hmm. Yes I do want someone who needs me and is open to care and support, but I 'm starting to wonder if that's healthy for me to want that, and more importantly, if that even exists in other healthy people (most esp 8's?).
    a relationship cannot work with an 8 unless it is interdependent. if they need you, they will feel threatened, if they aren't connected with you, they won't desire you intimately.


    Just a note.... believe it or not, I prefer calm, nice, mellow, mentally stable people for LTR's, not people who are always distraught or picking a fight with themselves or others. I would fear that someone who is always fighting can't relax (enough) and their moods would be contagious to me and I'd be afraid they'd turn their "fight" on me. I do like people who have a backbone and courage when it's needed though, which is something I really lack. For friendships, I probably do like the "fighters" more though.
    in that case, it sounds like an 8w9 would be better for you than an 8w7. 8w7s are fighters even when they're healthy. they just become protectors and peace makers instead of peace breakers.


    If they don't get too depressed with life, I'd probably enjoy this sort of passion. The biggest problem I can see is that I have enough insecurity and hesitation for 2 people already. It would be like hanging around a clone of myself.
    makes sense

    I'm not one of those 2's who enjoys being motherly with able adults. I dunno, maybe I'm a bad 2. With children or physically handicapped people I enjoy that but not with adults for more than a brief moment. This is because I like to have fun too and the person in the "caretaker" role (me) always has to be the responsible one, which is not fun, I see it more as just a necessary role that someone has to take. If I am forced to take on this role with an adult I will probably see as unfair if I'm always the one mostly doing it, and eventually back out of it.
    no, that makes you a good 2. most assertive men would be greatly annoyed by a sexual partner who tried to be their mother. equality is the way to go
    there are certain types of men who would enjoy a motherly wife, but it sounds like those are not the types of guys you would be attracted to.
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
    ENFP
    5w4>1w9>2w1 Sx/Sp
    SEE-Fi
    Papa Bear
    Motivation: Dark Worker
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Chibi Seme
    MTG Color: black/red
    Male Archtype: King/Lover
    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  4. #14
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Speed Gavroche View Post
    I'd say every but 5.
    I think 5 is one of the worst matches for a type 2. The two's natural inclination is to try to get closer to you and fives tend to seek more distance.
    INtp
    5w6 or 9w1 sp/so/sx, I think
    Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff
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    LII-Ne




  5. #15
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Okay I'm back to this. Thank you everyone for your thoughts. I'll probably come back asking more questions as they come up.

    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Usually enneagram suggest types that share the harmonic triad, so 2-7-9, 1-3-5, 4-6-8, since those types share a similar attitude towards solving life problems.
    I'm unfamiliar with the triad concept. Assuming I'm a 2, I'm guessing the 2-7-9 applies to me but I'm not sure how.

    Besides, Giggly struck me more as a 9w1(primarly) or 6w7(secondarily) rather than a 2? In many ways your character reminds me of my girlfriends' which is a 9w1 (I think), that's why I'm saying.
    Really? I think I remember someone who knows me fairly well also suggesting I was 9w1 a long time ago. I probably need to figure out what my enneagram and instinctual stacking is for sure before even wondering about good pairings.

  6. #16
    Senior Member knight's Avatar
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    9 goes well with 9

  7. #17
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by knight View Post
    9 goes well with 9
    9 + 9 is actually the only type pairing I don't see for a 9
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
    ENFP
    5w4>1w9>2w1 Sx/Sp
    SEE-Fi
    Papa Bear
    Motivation: Dark Worker
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Chibi Seme
    MTG Color: black/red
    Male Archtype: King/Lover
    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  8. #18
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    Think my sp/so e23 enfj aunt thinks I'm stingy, possibly selfish. A project? Someone collapses: she'll be first on the ground; I'll leave a handwritten note with the wind before strolling away. Metaphoric effect.

    I like em despite their detractors.

    thinking of you

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