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  1. #11
    A window to the soul
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    I suppose I can be this way in a relationship, especially on the first stages, but never with friends. Maybe the 5w4s are different, but I'm more about quality time. :)
    Ah yes, that's one of the five love languages. Rasofy, thanks for your response. :)

  2. #12
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    No sir. I've heard both ISTP's and INTP's say that. Many of which are 5's. My Dad is a 5 and he is that way. I also dated what I believe to be a 5 and above all else, he showed affection through giving meaningful gifts. (He was a very introverted, very logical guy.)

    Does that describe you?


    (<- Female, btw ) Not at all. Quite often I resent gifts (unless they're somehow personalized), and only give them when something crosses my path that screams a person's name. Maybe it's just the environment you're used to (and the kind of e5s that would be found there) more than it is about being e5. Because the e5s I know (at least the few I know well enough to say) are more like me than not where giving gifts is concerned. I mean, it's a lot like me to show up with someone's favorite coffee drink or snack/something fun/whatever when they didn't ask for it- to surprise people with stuff like that (so in that sense, yeah)- but I usually refuse to participate in gift-giving at Christmas or birthdays. And the only people I know who are as ornery about instituted gift-giving days as I am are the people I suspect are also e5s. I'm not saying I think most e5s are like this- I'm just saying it would really surprise me if it were more common for e5s to be on the opposite end of that spectrum.

    I usually show affection by paying attention to someone I guess, spending time with them. I'm definitely an attention and time hoarder (regarding my own attention), I seriously like my alone time and I have to really like someone to want to spend a lot of time with them. Plus I'll trust them with things that I don't tell many people. So for me, what Jenaphor said, probably.

    [edit] I think the most common way I express affection is doing things to show that I pay attention- I pick up on what makes them happy/cheers them up (e.g. if they hate doing dishes, I'll wash dishes without them asking) and do it regularly, as long as it keeps cheering them up.
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

    5w4 sx/sp Johari / Nohari

  3. #13
    meinmeinmein! mmhmm's Avatar
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    @JocktheMotie just said to me, he'd still have sex with me up to 12 hours after my death.
    <3 <3

    they're pretty good with words of affirmation.
    every normal man must be tempted, at times,
    to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
    and begin slitting throats.
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  4. #14
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    Opening up and time spent.
    Time spent, sure, but for myself I don't even know what "opening up" means. My inner emotional landscape I find to be transient and of little personal value so sharing that just seems like silly thing to do. There seems to be the perception that if one doesn't talk about one's feelings, it means they're super duper important and the holy grail of relationshipz. I don't talk about beauty pageants either, does that mean I secretly love them and getting me to talk about them is some kind of huge milestone?

    IMO, for the 5 the trick is to get them to be honest about an emotional stressor and if you help them analyze it from afar, it takes away some of the worry in airing it out, because you've shown that you understand the 5 doesn't want the particular emotion to be attached to them.

    On second thought, maybe that's what you meant by opening up.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    Fives please correct me if I'm wrong. You show affection through gift giving.
    You notice things that someone likes and you surprise them with it.
    Not really. I'm more likely to...take a picture of it than burden you with the actual object.

    Quote Originally Posted by mmhmm View Post
    @JocktheMotie just said to me, he'd still have sex with me up to 12 hours after my death.
    <3 <3

    they're pretty good with words of affirmation.
    It'd probably be the opposite if I died, lucky girl. After rigor sets in, you just have to keep me from decaying and you could have me forever. Turn me into an office chair.



  5. #15
    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    My e5 gf pays me the compliment of considering me worthy of hearing about all the discoveries she makes and loves to talk about her research. Since she considers that stuff very private and kind of snobbishly assumes others would never understand, I take it as a compliment. When she does emotional, quasi-2ish things I really try to encourage/.support that, because she seems so awkward and vulnerable doing it. Like she's really going out on a limb. But I don't know if ALL 5's are like, just my five.

    'My five', makes me think of the song "My Guy". Nothing you can say, can tear me away, from my five. She may not be a movie star, but when it comes to being nerdy, we are...etc

  6. #16
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever_Jung View Post
    My e5 gf pays me the compliment of considering me worthy of hearing about all the discoveries she makes and loves to talk about her research. Since she considers that stuff very private and kind of snobbishly assumes others would never understand, I take it as a compliment.
    Precisely. I also consider most people are too mundane to bother about these things, so the mere fact that we share these ideas with someone is very significant. What's her mbti type, btw?
    Quote Originally Posted by Forever_Jung View Post
    When she does emotional, quasi-2ish things I really try to encourage/.support that, because she seems so awkward and vulnerable doing it. Like she's really going out on a limb. But I don't know if ALL 5's are like, just my five.
    That's accurate. It's hard for us to open up and if this is discouraged we pretty much close ourselves.
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

  7. #17
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Z Buck McFate View Post

    I usually show affection by paying attention to someone I guess, spending time with them. I'm definitely an attention and time hoarder (regarding my own attention), I seriously like my alone time and I have to really like someone to want to spend a lot of time with them. Plus I'll trust them with things that I don't tell many people. So for me, what Jenaphor said, probably.

    [edit] I think the most common way I express affection is doing things to show that I pay attention- I pick up on what makes them happy/cheers them up (e.g. if they hate doing dishes, I'll wash dishes without them asking) and do it regularly, as long as it keeps cheering them up.
    I relate so much to this. Also, for me usually I am not expressive of my affection, physically or with words. It's through actions.

  8. #18
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    Fives please correct me if I'm wrong. You show affection through gift giving.
    You notice things that someone likes and you surprise them with it.
    Gift giving rates high on my list of love languages but my INTP 5 was more into physical touch. He's a hugger.

  9. #19
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Z Buck McFate View Post
    (<- Female, btw ) Not at all. Quite often I resent gifts (unless they're somehow personalized), and only give them when something crosses my path that screams a person's name. Maybe it's just the environment you're used to (and the kind of e5s that would be found there) more than it is about being e5. Because the e5s I know (at least the few I know well enough to say) are more like me than not where giving gifts is concerned. I mean, it's a lot like me to show up with someone's favorite coffee drink or snack/something fun/whatever when they didn't ask for it- to surprise people with stuff like that (so in that sense, yeah)- but I usually refuse to participate in gift-giving at Christmas or birthdays. And the only people I know who are as ornery about instituted gift-giving days as I am are the people I suspect are also e5s. I'm not saying I think most e5s are like this- I'm just saying it would really surprise me if it were more common for e5s to be on the opposite end of that spectrum.

    I usually show affection by paying attention to someone I guess, spending time with them. I'm definitely an attention and time hoarder (regarding my own attention), I seriously like my alone time and I have to really like someone to want to spend a lot of time with them. Plus I'll trust them with things that I don't tell many people. So for me, what Jenaphor said, probably.

    [edit] I think the most common way I express affection is doing things to show that I pay attention- I pick up on what makes them happy/cheers them up (e.g. if they hate doing dishes, I'll wash dishes without them asking) and do it regularly, as long as it keeps cheering them up.
    I veeeeery much relate to all this.
    Something Witty

  10. #20
    Senior Member Killjoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    Fives please correct me if I'm wrong. You show affection through gift giving.
    You notice things that someone likes and you surprise them with it.
    I just gave a friend of mine two books for her birthday: One on John Wayne Gacy, the other on Jonestown. I even threw in a cute little bookmark for shits and giggles.

    Granted, she's a good friend of mine and I typically don't participate nor have any keen interest in gift giving, especially to those that would be purely out of "obligation": Nieces, nephews, brothers... even my parents I can't be bothered to shop for. This is an exception, since we share a common interest (morbid shit?) and that seems to makes it more personal (Though more appropriately, a recognition that the relationship is important to me) in contrast to a going-through-the-motions type of gift giving - Which is always lame and not something I partake in.

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