Do you guys have this problem?
I just took college entrance exams, and out of 1800 people who applied I was first with 851 points, 2nd was 817, then all under 800.
My initial plan was to have 920 points so I pretty much failed Not to mention that one part of tests (851 is all together,6-7 tests) I was only among top 15% which really disturbed me
In some other scenarios if I did worse I wouldnt even open a thread because I would just try to forget the whole failure thing and focus on next chance to proe myself.
Thing is, I know this isnt very normal. I get absolutely frustrated when I cant feel best in something I've put my mind into. :/
Other issue is that I have periods of huge ambitions combined with periods of totally being flat about success because it is too much work and there are more imp things; which is very bad combination IMO because you cant set your priorities
and i absolutely manage to destroy most of things i have achieved in period of when i dont care or am too lazy
Also, I am afraid of that day -hope it never happens- when I will figure out that I cant achieve at all what I planned and I will end up just average. Since i am getting older i am more aware of that scenario bc my career so far was disasterous because of i was changing my mind 100 times and didnt invest in 1 thing enough.
If someone asked me couple years ago about success I would be absolutely sure I will make it, dont know is this typically 3 to have too much self/confidence sometimes, but I am able to black out all negative scenarios and just see how "i can do it"; it is powerful drive but obviously it is often far from reality; I am more and more aware that failure is very likely.