I'm trying to type my INFP boyfriend, and so far 9w1 seems the closest. The problem is, he doesn't identify with the general happy, peace-loving Type 9 description, but sees elements of himself in Types 1, 4, 5 and 6.
However, he somewhat identifies with this description, and the Taoism bit is right-on!
He believes the enneagram is bunk , so I can't really discuss it with him, because he tends to go off on how he is totally a 4 because he is emotional, or a 5 because he is intellectual. He never takes it seriously, so I think I'm on my own when it comes to typing. Last time I checked he said he was a 4w69w1s are sensitive and self-effacing as well as gentle and loving. While they have issues with expressing anger they can also feel crippled with anxiety. They suppress or ignore their wants due to fear. They "cocoon" under stress and their "positive outlook" is a defense against a deep-seated belief of an inability to have an influence or impact. The delayed anger responses from 9w1s result from an excessive buildup of intense long-term anxiety that never got dealt with. They are much harder on themselves than 9w8s. They are very sensitive to criticism because they take it as a judgement on them as people. This is why praise can have such a positive effect on them. The key is to try to relieve their anxiety directly and then anger issues will resolve themselves.
9w1s have an "ego in having no ego", as opposed to the 9w8 ego in being able to be apathetic to what's pointless. They can be unusually intuitive and cerebral as well as creative and fantastical. They have a knack for synthesizing various theories and viewpoints. Sometimes they can seem like 4s and 5s except they idealize "flow" and don't take things to the same extremes. It's tough to narrow down the possibilities and discriminate the way they see everything as interconnected. They feel ambivalent and out of touch with what their instincts tell them. They repress and ignore negative urges in themselves but get fustrated with those who disturb the peace. In response to being disturbed themselves they might initially be taken aback or dazed and then say everything is okay.
9w1s are high-minded types who idealize peace, harmony, healing, and union with others. They mainly fear being seperated from loved ones and on some level they feel like they don't matter as a distinctly seperate person. "United we stand divided we fall" resonates with them because on a deeper level seperation is equivalent to annihilation. They dream about formlessness as the perfect reality, where one is freed from struggles of the ego and anything else that detracts from fluidity. They feel drawn to being connected with the vastness and beauty of nature and are attracted to things like large bodies of water and celestial entities in the sky. The Way of the Tao is very 9w1, as are other eastern philosophies that aspire to a formless and egoless nirvana. "The answer will come to you in time my son" wiseman archetype is also very 9w1. In such a reality unnecessary details, pain, and anxiety are either drowned out or work themselves out on their own.
So, 9w1 seems to make the most sense, because under stress, he can become more like 4s and 6s due to disintegration.
So, 9w1s, do you identify with the above and the following descriptions of your type?
More questions:Nine Wing One
Average 9/1 has a sort of cloud-like softness. The one-wing adds a flavor of intellectuality, but nine is more powerful, so the 9/1's thoughts are not likely to receive much reality-testing. As a result, 9/1 often has a set of beliefs about the world that may seem superstitious or magical to others. For 9/1, this is no problem, because, strange as it may seem, these magical beliefs often seem to actually work for them. Unlike 9/8, 9/1 has a kind of refinement and poise, because of the one-wing's desire to be perfect. But 9/1 is more likely to lie down and take a nap than the more workaholic 1/9.
Balanced 9/1 somehow becomes more present. Now there is really somebody home, a genuine being with actual goals and self-interest who happily starts creating results in the world. Nine begins to show some threeish ambition and the one-wing begins to loosen up its perfectionism. While such a person is still probably involved in activities that are non-threatening and not particularly visible in the world at large, the results often affect others in ways that are surprisingly useful and subtle.
Advanced 9/1 finds deep sevenish joy in the accomplishment of personal goals. Usually the goals involve teaching or otherwise empowering others. Oneish intellectual rigor assumes real importance when the desire for withdrawal diminishes, allowing 9/1 to risk genuine involvement. Thoughts and internal images finally correspond to actual reality and 9/1 is able to transmit to others a special and powerful kind of integrated self-actualization.
Under stress, nineish withdrawal increases, accompanied by oneish judgment of self and others. 9/1 retreats into a fantasy world inhabited by comfortably fuzzy generalities and stereotyped images of other people. These are the people 9/1 wishes could inhabit the real world -- wishful, perfect images of real people. Unfortunately, because 9/1 is convinced of the reality of these internally generated images, real-life interactions suffer when people do not live up to their idealized images. But the 9/1 tries very hard not to notice.
In the extreme, it becomes nearly impossible not to see the discrepancies between the perfect inner images and the outward reality. Total isolation becomes the only way to avoid seeing that the world is populated by disturbingly imperfect, unpredictable, demanding, untrustworthy beings. Life falls apart at the seams and psychotic 9/1 eventually may reach a state of catatonic pseudo-coma. Even eating and drinking can become too much work. No one is home in the body, and the body itself is allowed to fall into ruins.
Some 9/1s find work that lets them use their mind, but in a soft, fuzzy sort of way. Astrologers, palm-readers, crystal healers, puppeteers, storytellers, dressmakers. Others want more intellectual rigor, becoming accountants, naturalists, politicians, librarians, animators, artists, or technical writers. There are 9/1 postal workers (scads of them), literature professors, actors, painters, and a million jobs that nobody ever notices. Of course, 9/1s can also be found doing many other kinds of work.
What is your instinctual stacking? And how would you go about finding out the stacking of a 9w1?
I always thought my INFP was sp-first, because of his tendency to withdraw, but I just realized that could be way off, because he has absolutely no plans for the future and seems to be quite impulsive in making life decisions (Not sure if that's just an INFP trait). I'm sp-first and I know I'm obsessed with being safe and prepared, physically and mentally. He is definitely not like that.
He is in a way socially-aware -- he's always worried about what people think of him, but is in no way social or extroverted. He's happier just keeping to himself while keeping a few smooth conflict-free relationships going on. I know he loves to be with the few people he cares about, but finds making new friends very difficult.
He is also a little safety-conscious, or so he claims, but his actions seem say otherwise and most of the time do not really lend to self-preservation at all! He makes impulsive decisions at the last minute, shows up in new places without a place booked, neglects health when under stress, etc. He also always seem to be in perpetually running out of food.
So, any thoughts? To be honest I don't really understand 9s yet, because the other types at least seem to have a preoccupation with something. I've read how 9s want union -- but how can that be achieved without really 'going after it', with 9s being all chilled out and all? I'm not looking for really specific answers; I just want to understand 9s a bit more, so please feel free to post anything about how it's like to be a 9, or especially a 9w1
Thanks in advance!