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  1. #21
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    I'm a 9 that tests as a 5 most of the time.

    I don't really know anything more about 9s than what is already posted.

  2. #22
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    as for variants, a good question is what is he most preoccupied with? intimate/close relationships and attraction between people, how he fits into society and the bigger picture, or securing his own needs and wants?
    Good question. Right now he is trying t pursue a dream, but I still don't know what the real motivation behind that dream really is. The dream itself is pretty un-sp-ish, I think, because he is literally taking a gamble whether it would work out or not. He is under a lot of stress and is depressed most of the time about the future -- so this might not be a good time to tell. He also values intimate relationships a lot -- and also does pretty un-sp-ish things to keep our relationship going.

    I haven't really considered so/sx or sx/so before -- so I'll look into that!

    At least everyone seems to agree that he sounds like a 9w1 -- I'm happy with that for now


    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    The thing is, most nines don't see themselves the way others see them. I showed my husband a summary of the enneagram awhile back and he said, "oh, you're totally a nine." I was in complete shock cause I was certain I was a four. So I convinced myself that he just didn't know the real me, even though we've been together for almost fifteen years. It took awhile for me to come around, but there's no way I would have if he'd tried to convince me. Fyi, most nines hate being lectured or told what to think. We can be pretty stubborn. (i can be, anyway. I hate speaking in 'we's.)
    Thanks for this. This sounds exactly like my bf! Don't worry, our conversations usually involve no lecturing and usually end with us agreeing that we're either both 9s or both 4s (He never takes the enneagram seriously anyway)
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  3. #23
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    I'm a 9 that tests as a 5 most of the time.

    I don't really know anything more about 9s than what is already posted.
    I think introverted thinkers are most likely to test as 5s.
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  4. #24
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    I think introverted thinkers are most likely to test as 5s.
    so INTP 9s think they're 5s and INFP 9s think they're 4s? lawl.

    I think he sounds like a 9w1 to me. I'm not entirely sure, but I get the feeling that 9s really feel it when they get noticed because they don't feel like they exist. This is why it says in most profiles that 9s will work in the background to help others etc. Since they don't exist, they might have trouble knowing who they are, particularly in the eyes of others.

    I think you should try not to convince him of his type, if he is a nine, he will probably just go with whatever you think, then revert back to what he thinks later, he'll probably say that he might be a 9 (emphasis on the uncertainty), but he wont be saying what he actually thinks, which for other people might be "hell no!". Best thing to do is to let him get a good feel for the type he thinks he is, find examples (preferably real people, lol, though that may be hard with types 4 and 5 being so rare) and let him uncover himself instead of revealing it to him. If he is a 9, he'll probably be open minded towards the idea of being a 9, but perhaps reluctant to make a definitive choice (as compared to an arbitrary choice or simply agreeing with someone else).

    I find it never mentions this in the profiles, but with anger comes certainty. You can't be angry unless you're sure of intention or circumstance, you need to commit to anger, which can often cause a stir, which 9s usually wish to avoid. As a 9 that rids himself of anger, there's more drive towards forgiveness as uncertainty in intentions or motives is taken into account and the 9 assumes the best to avoid disturbing the peace or making a scene. Maybe that is in the profiles somewhere, but it feels like I'm just connecting the dots .

    I really wish I could become a four or a five so that I could understand them the same way I feel I understand 9
    5 3 9

  5. #25
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    You could show him the bliss stream instinctual descriptions. They were the first nine descriptions that actually resonated with me. Cerebral, complex, aesthetic, creative.... Connecting to the universal, love nature, small creatures, romantic... Well, all right!

    Also, as mac guffin says, just being around a four for lengths of time made me question four for myself as well. I'll want to despair and express myself for an hour or two, they keep at it relentlessly for days. Also, I'll always find myself becoming their advisor, therapist, optimistic friend; they play the role of complainer, muse, creative support . Well, if you're a four and he's a nine then he'll get this eventually.

  6. #26
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King-Of-Despair View Post
    so INTP 9s think they're 5s and INFP 9s think they're 4s? lawl.



    I think he sounds like a 9w1 to me. I'm not entirely sure, but I get the feeling that 9s really feel it when they get noticed because they don't feel like they exist. This is why it says in most profiles that 9s will work in the background to help others etc. Since they don't exist, they might have trouble knowing who they are, particularly in the eyes of others.

    I think you should try not to convince him of his type, if he is a nine, he will probably just go with whatever you think, then revert back to what he thinks later, he'll probably say that he might be a 9 (emphasis on the uncertainty), but he wont be saying what he actually thinks, which for other people might be "hell no!". Best thing to do is to let him get a good feel for the type he thinks he is, find examples (preferably real people, lol, though that may be hard with types 4 and 5 being so rare) and let him uncover himself instead of revealing it to him. If he is a 9, he'll probably be open minded towards the idea of being a 9, but perhaps reluctant to make a definitive choice (as compared to an arbitrary choice or simply agreeing with someone else).

    I find it never mentions this in the profiles, but with anger comes certainty. You can't be angry unless you're sure of intention or circumstance, you need to commit to anger, which can often cause a stir, which 9s usually wish to avoid. As a 9 that rids himself of anger, there's more drive towards forgiveness as uncertainty in intentions or motives is taken into account and the 9 assumes the best to avoid disturbing the peace or making a scene. Maybe that is in the profiles somewhere, but it feels like I'm just connecting the dots .
    Thanks for this! Actually I don't really feel as much the need to convince him as the need to convince myself. With all his "No, I'm definitely not a 9", I was starting to wonder if I typed him right after all. Actually all I want is to understand him better and to make sure I'm making him happy

    And our 'discussions' about the enneagram usually devolve into a nonsensical mess of jokes anyway...

    As for the point about anger, doesn't the 1 wing lends itself to 'anger'? This is the part I find puzzling, because the 'peaceful' 9s can have pretty 'harsh' wings both ways. I like it that all the adjacent types are conflicting in some way, like the 6's need to be safe and the 7's need to experience the world, but 9w1 and 9w8 seem a bit contradictory and I haven't been able to understand how these types would be like in real life.


    I really wish I could become a four or a five so that I could understand them the same way I feel I understand 9
    Vice versa. I think I understand Types 1 to 5 pretty well, because I have close family members who are those types. Descriptions of types 6 to 9 often leave me totally "What?"
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    You could show him the bliss stream instinctual descriptions. They were the first nine descriptions that actually resonated with me. Cerebral, complex, aesthetic, creative.... Connecting to the universal, love nature, small creatures, romantic... Well, all right!

    Also, as mac guffin says, just being around a four for lengths of time made me question four for myself as well. I'll want to despair and express myself for an hour or two, they keep at it relentlessly for days. Also, I'll always find myself becoming their advisor, therapist, optimistic friend; they play the role of complainer, muse, creative support . Well, if you're a four and he's a nine then he'll get this eventually.
    If only INFPgc was still active (can't say this enough.)

    I would of advised you to go to INTPc for a month and go to INFPgc for a month and compare .

  8. #28
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    You could show him the bliss stream instinctual descriptions. They were the first nine descriptions that actually resonated with me. Cerebral, complex, aesthetic, creative.... Connecting to the universal, love nature, small creatures, romantic... Well, all right!
    Thanks! I'll delete all the '9's, delete the stackings, mix them up and then ask him which one(s) he relate to the most. Somehow I still have a feeling that he will immediately cut the ones that have any mention of "the society" as he generally relates that to the cold, uncaring society in the real world, while he in fact has quite a lot of concern for his own circle of society

    Also, as mac guffin says, just being around a four for lengths of time made me question four for myself as well. I'll want to despair and express myself for an hour or two, they keep at it relentlessly for days. Also, I'll always find myself becoming their advisor, therapist, optimistic friend; they play the role of complainer, muse, creative support . Well, if you're a four and he's a nine then he'll get this eventually.
    Uh oh, two 4s together can't be good
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Burning Rave View Post
    If only INFPgc was still active (can't say this enough.)

    I would of advised you to go to INTPc for a month and go to INFPgc for a month and compare .
    I was lurking on INFPglobalchatter for a while before I discovered this place. INTPc, on the other hand, is a land I dare not venture
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  10. #30
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    Thanks for this! Actually I don't really feel as much the need to convince him as the need to convince myself. With all his "No, I'm definitely not a 9", I was starting to wonder if I typed him right after all. Actually all I want is to understand him better and to make sure I'm making him happy
    Ahh, then you're all set, he's most likely a 9

    And our 'discussions' about the enneagram usually devolve into a nonsensical mess of jokes anyway...

    As for the point about anger, doesn't the 1 wing lends itself to 'anger'? This is the part I find puzzling, because the 'peaceful' 9s can have pretty 'harsh' wings both ways. I like it that all the adjacent types are conflicting in some way, like the 6's need to be safe and the 7's need to experience the world, but 9w1 and 9w8 seem a bit contradictory and I haven't been able to understand how these types would be like in real life.
    This is because wings don't exist. Like you said, 6 and 7 conflict, 1 and 2 makes no sense, 3 and 4 makes no sense, 9 and 8 is contradicting. It's just nonsense imo, and there's plenty of people out there that agree. Even the basic theory of the enneagram escapes proof, so how can anyone trust unexplainable connections between types?
    5 3 9

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