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[Type 3] Cool 3w4s?

Elfboy

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Nope. It always comes with conditions, even if they're really far out there.



Those people aren't worth the time of day.



So now people have to prove their worth for friendship with you. That's nice.

Most people respect others' abilities to have independent opinions. Some may question your reasoning, however.

bold: my point exactly
underlined: I give them the benefit of the doubt and start them off on a fresh slate, but yes, people do have to prove themselves to become my friend. friend to me is a very intimate word and I don't consider anyone a friend unless I share a deep connection with them. that being said, people don't have to prove themselves to me to gain my respect, I start people off with a fair amount, they just have the ability to add/subtract from that from there. the general trend is that people will end up with less respect than I originally give them, but I try to give everyone a chance
 

onemoretime

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bold: my point exactly

So why worry about them?

BTW, you're 4w3, rather than 3w4 or 8w9. Just look at how jealously you guarded your individuality. A 3w4, for example, may not like basketball, but would admire Jordan because of his "greatness." You also don't value others' opinions like a three would. Threes protect their greatness, fours protect their individuality, and eights protect their power.
 

Elfboy

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So why worry about them?

BTW, you're 4w3, rather than 3w4 or 8w9. Just look at how jealously you guarded your individuality. A 3w4, for example, may not like basketball, but would admire Jordan because of his "greatness." You also don't value others' opinions like a three would. Threes protect their greatness, fours protect their individuality, and eights protect their power.

I don't worry about them, I simply don't like them, if them is people who won't except my views and thought processes
it could also be 8. my initial response to you was very 8-ish. 4w3 is possible too though (although give you thought I was an ISFJ or an ESFP, I can't exactly just take your word for it lol)
 

onemoretime

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I don't worry about them, I simply don't like them, if them is people who won't except my views and thought processes
it could also be 8. my initial response to you was very 8-ish. 4w3 is possible too though (although give you thought I was an ISFJ or an ESFP, I can't exactly just take your word for it lol)

Still do.

That wasn't an Eight response, btw. Eight responses almost never come across as defensive, even when they are. An 8w9 response would sound more like "I've never cared for basketball" and left at that. Eights have nothing to prove, because they're satisfied as long as they feel safe.
 

Elfboy

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Still do.

That wasn't an Eight response, btw. Eight responses almost never come across as defensive, even when they are. An 8w9 response would sound more like "I've never cared for basketball" and left at that. Eights have nothing to prove, because they're satisfied as long as they feel safe.

8s are satisfied as long as they feel respected
 

onemoretime

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8s are satisfied as long as they feel respected

Eights are OK with being disrespected, but feared, if that's what keeps them safe. Fours need to feel that others respect their unique qualities as individuals, fearing loss of identity or insignificance. The Enneagram Institute's nickname for the 4w3 is the Aristocrat, after all.

What better describes you: an Aristocrat, or a Bear?
 

Elfboy

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Eights are OK with being disrespected, but feared, if that's what keeps them safe. Fours need to feel that others respect their unique qualities as individuals, fearing loss of identity or insignificance. The Enneagram Institute's nickname for the 4w3 is the Aristocrat, after all.

What better describes you: an Aristocrat, or a Bear?

definitely an Aristocrat :laugh: but I've made too many mistakes typing off of labels in the past. gut center describes me much better than heart center as well. I could go without appreciation (the need of the heart center) for the rest of my life, however, I can't go without exceptance (the need of the gut center). I think I'm far too unemotional to be a 4w3, even if I do have their fire and intensity (which are also present in 8). 4w3s and 8s seem to have similar motivations though. 4s wants to be able to be themselves, 8s want to be able to be themselves and both can get temperamental when people get in the way of that.
PS: unlike 3, I have no ego against being a 4w3, they're pretty bad ass sometimes :laugh:
 

Elfboy

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this woman is a 4w3 and I relate to her a lot :yes:
 

Viridian

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Eights are OK with being disrespected, but feared, if that's what keeps them safe. Fours need to feel that others respect their unique qualities as individuals, fearing loss of identity or insignificance. The Enneagram Institute's nickname for the 4w3 is the Aristocrat, after all.

What better describes you: an Aristocrat, or a Bear?

The "Bear" thing always seemed more 2w3 to me...

In any case, Elfboy, I think you are judging Threes a bit harshly... Many of them seem to struggle with feeling useless or inefficient due to external expectations, but the successful ones can be pretty genuine without losing their focus. Remember that blond, tan guy (Klavier Gavin) I once said you reminded me of? I suspect he's a 3w2. :wink:

This description may help a bit:

Ocean Moonshine website said:
Threes with the Four wing tend to focus their energy on projects rather than people, although they still have a fair amount of social energy. The introspective energy of the Four wing is difficult for the Three to integrate. Consequently, Threes with a Four wing sometimes attempt to escape it's pressure by way of workaholism. They tend to be more conflicted about matters relating to intimacy than Threes with a Two wing.
 

Viridian

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PS: unlike 3, I have no ego against being a 4w3, they're pretty bad ass sometimes :laugh:

So are Threes, even if they are more overt in their badassery. I've seen the mythological Hercules typed as a Three. (The Disney version seems more 2w3-ish)

Remember, discovering one's type is partially about suspending judgement and seeing the flaws in ourselves that can become personal quagmires. :hug:
 

Elfboy

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So are Threes, even if they are more overt in their badassery. I've seen the mythological Hercules typed as a Three. (The Disney version seems more 2w3-ish)

Remember, discovering one's type is partially about suspending judgement and seeing the flaws in ourselves that can become personal quagmires. :hug:

I actually did thorough research into 3 precisely because I had a bias against them :yes:
 

Kierva

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Narcissistic streaks wouldn't be characteristic of 8s, would it?
 

onemoretime

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definitely an Aristocrat :laugh: but I've made too many mistakes typing off of labels in the past. gut center describes me much better than heart center as well. I could go without appreciation (the need of the heart center) for the rest of my life, however, I can't go without exceptance (the need of the gut center). I think I'm far too unemotional to be a 4w3, even if I do have their fire and intensity (which are also present in 8). 4w3s and 8s seem to have similar motivations though. 4s wants to be able to be themselves, 8s want to be able to be themselves and both can get temperamental when people get in the way of that.
PS: unlike 3, I have no ego against being a 4w3, they're pretty bad ass sometimes :laugh:

It's the fire and intensity that constitute the "emotional" aspects of the 4w3. Just because someone is emotional, doesn't make that person totally maudlin. Eights show intensity without fire: they're more irresistible, unceasing forces than the dynamos that Fours can be. Fours are also more drawn toward the beautiful things in life than Eights are, who prefer the utilitarian.

A stressed-out Four disintegrates to a negative Two, which also includes negative Eight traits. This might be where you're identifying with the Eight's qualities.

Labels can be useful when you understand fully what the underlying archetype represents.
 

Elfboy

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It's the fire and intensity that constitute the "emotional" aspects of the 4w3. Just because someone is emotional, doesn't make that person totally maudlin. Eights show intensity without fire: they're more irresistible, unceasing forces than the dynamos that Fours can be. Fours are also more drawn toward the beautiful things in life than Eights are, who prefer the utilitarian.

A stressed-out Four disintegrates to a negative Two, which also includes negative Eight traits. This might be where you're identifying with the Eight's qualities.

Labels can be useful when you understand fully what the underlying archetype represents.

I'm just not very emotional as a person. I have fire and passion, but they're not really "emotions" so to speak as much as just sheer gut energy. also, my 2-ish comes out more when I'm healthy than stressed. I'm a caniving, veangeful bitch under stress. 4w3 is definitely a possibility though :yes:
 

Elfboy

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Narcissistic streaks wouldn't be characteristic of 8s, would it?

sure it can be. just look at most rappers or entrepreneurs, they think they're the shit :laugh:
PS: I'm talking about the healthy kind of narcissism in this instance
 

mrcockburn

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I'm definitely going to have to agree with OMT and suggest 4w3 as a possibility. I seem to be unanimously typed as a 3, and the only similarities we have is that we're constantly confused about our own types.

I'm not even into basketball, and being a decade older probably wouldn't have changed that - but I see the point that Onemoretime was making with the Michael Jordan reference: awesome 3's abound. No mind-rape going on. :) So no need to cause a scene.
 

Elfboy

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It's the fire and intensity that constitute the "emotional" aspects of the 4w3. Just because someone is emotional, doesn't make that person totally maudlin. Eights show intensity without fire: they're more irresistible, unceasing forces than the dynamos that Fours can be. Fours are also more drawn toward the beautiful things in life than Eights are, who prefer the utilitarian.

A stressed-out Four disintegrates to a negative Two, which also includes negative Eight traits. This might be where you're identifying with the Eight's qualities.

Labels can be useful when you understand fully what the underlying archetype represents.

really?
 

Elfboy

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I'm definitely going to have to agree with OMT and suggest 4w3 as a possibility. I seem to be unanimously typed as a 3, and the only similarities we have is that we're constantly confused about our own types.

I'm not even into basketball, and being a decade older probably wouldn't have changed that - but I see the point that Onemoretime was making with the Michael Jordan reference: awesome 3's abound. No mind-rape going on. :) So no need to cause a scene.

agreed, I share a in common with 4w3, the thing that gets me though is the shame. 4s are said to be very aware of and expressive of their shame, I have virtually no shame about anything. perhaps it was there when I was younger, but today I virtually never feel shame, guilt or worthlessness. anger on the other hand, that one does pop up on occassion
 

mrcockburn

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agreed, I share a in common with 4w3, the thing that gets me though is the shame. 4s are said to be very aware of and expressive of their shame, I have virtually no shame about anything. perhaps it was there when I was younger, but today I virtually never feel shame, guilt or worthlessness. anger on the other hand, that one does pop up on occassion

No shame? Do you ever get embarrassed when you're having a bad hair day, or when someone you're with does something embarrassing in public? (Causing a scene, burping out loud, just making you look bad, etc)
 
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