Well..the result is that she did toss his ass out of the house *lol*
Nowadays he's 'nice' to my family and gets along with some of em, but he initially acknowledged their presence *for me*, as group harmony can really impact me. He also doesn't mind doing that for me, now, as he prefers me in non-stressy mood. You're correct on 3's and 8's knowing what they want and taking it. It's why I like em so. I instantly know where I stand with them.
He cares when people who he acknowledges as knownig what the F*** they're talking about, criticize his work abilities,but you won't notice. He'll just check if they have a point and adjust accordingly if they do. If he feels he can't live up to that standard, the only person who'll know, is me. And then he'll proceed to make that standard anyways or redefine it to something even better. Gotto love their drive. It takes its toll though, leaving them sometimes drained and in need of a lot of love and affirmation/affection. They're not robots, thank god.
Edit: I only now saw your edit. He can relax just fine when he feels he's done his job. And goof off like mad. But he enjoys using his abilities, and who doesn't, really? It's just an inner value that he feels that slacking off for too long and not doing anything productive is kind of wasteful, as much fun as it can be. He likes the idea of leaving his mark on the world...most men do, ime