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Thread: Cool 3w4s?

  1. #41
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Well..the result is that she did toss his ass out of the house *lol*
    Nowadays he's 'nice' to my family and gets along with some of em, but he initially acknowledged their presence *for me*, as group harmony can really impact me. He also doesn't mind doing that for me, now, as he prefers me in non-stressy mood. You're correct on 3's and 8's knowing what they want and taking it. It's why I like em so. I instantly know where I stand with them.

    He cares when people who he acknowledges as knownig what the F*** they're talking about, criticize his work abilities,but you won't notice. He'll just check if they have a point and adjust accordingly if they do. If he feels he can't live up to that standard, the only person who'll know, is me. And then he'll proceed to make that standard anyways or redefine it to something even better. Gotto love their drive. It takes its toll though, leaving them sometimes drained and in need of a lot of love and affirmation/affection. They're not robots, thank god.

    Edit: I only now saw your edit. He can relax just fine when he feels he's done his job. And goof off like mad. But he enjoys using his abilities, and who doesn't, really? It's just an inner value that he feels that slacking off for too long and not doing anything productive is kind of wasteful, as much fun as it can be. He likes the idea of leaving his mark on the world...most men do, ime
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  2. #42
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vala Faye View Post
    Well..the result is that she did toss his ass out of the house *lol*
    Nowadays he's 'nice' to my family and gets along with some of em, but he initially acknowledged their presence *for me*, as group harmony can really impact me. He also doesn't mind doing that for me, now, as he prefers me in non-stressy mood. You're correct on 3's and 8's knowing what they want and taking it. It's why I like em so. I instantly know where I stand with them.

    He cares when people who he acknowledges as knownig what the F*** they're talking about, criticize his work abilities,but you won't notice. He'll just check if they have a point and adjust accordingly if they do. If he feels he can't live up to that standard, the only person who'll know, is me. And then he'll proceed to make that standard anyways or redefine it to something even better. Gotto love their drive. It takes its toll though, leaving them sometimes drained and in need of a lot of love and affirmation/affection. They're not robots, thank god.

    Edit: I only now saw your edit. He can relax just fine when he feels he's done his job. And goof off like mad. But he enjoys using his abilities, and who doesn't, really? It's just an inner value that he feels that slacking off for too long and not doing anything productive is kind of wasteful, as much fun as it can be. He likes the idea of leaving his mark on the world...most men do, ime
    what would you say is the difference between him an an 8? (he sounds almost exactly like my INTJ 8w7 besty)
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  3. #43
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    He tested both 8 and 3, but he's not an 8. He doesn't *mind* it when people try to control him as long as he can see why they'r edoing it and it's for a good purpose. He'll put up with it for as long as it's useful for the goal. He also doesn't have that raw impatience that an 8 posesses. I quite enjoy it, but it's volatile and I have to admit that our relationship is smoother for it. I'm sure I'd love the thrill of dating an 8, but man, there would be soooo many more screaming arguments *lol*

    I rarely manage to run out his patience and even he says that I'm quite a handful on that area. If he were an 8, I'd be pissing them off every effing week (not that that has to be a bad thing...but still). He's less...well, dramatic than 8's
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  4. #44
    #KUWK Kierva's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vala Faye View Post
    Well..the result is that she did toss his ass out of the house *lol*
    Nowadays he's 'nice' to my family and gets along with some of em, but he initially acknowledged their presence *for me*, as group harmony can really impact me. He also doesn't mind doing that for me, now, as he prefers me in non-stressy mood. You're correct on 3's and 8's knowing what they want and taking it. It's why I like em so. I instantly know where I stand with them.

    He cares when people who he acknowledges as knownig what the F*** they're talking about, criticize his work abilities,but you won't notice. He'll just check if they have a point and adjust accordingly if they do. If he feels he can't live up to that standard, the only person who'll know, is me. And then he'll proceed to make that standard anyways or redefine it to something even better. Gotto love their drive. It takes its toll though, leaving them sometimes drained and in need of a lot of love and affirmation/affection. They're not robots, thank god.

    Edit: I only now saw your edit. He can relax just fine when he feels he's done his job. And goof off like mad. But he enjoys using his abilities, and who doesn't, really? It's just an inner value that he feels that slacking off for too long and not doing anything productive is kind of wasteful, as much fun as it can be. He likes the idea of leaving his mark on the world...most men do, ime

    Then in that case I would be a 3w4

    It's either I have a really strong 3w4 fix or I'm really a 3w4.
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  5. #45
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    In class we have this system where the facilitator grades us based on class/team engagement. Basically we have to "look interested" and "discuss a lot" in our group. He/she observes us and makes a grade on our verbal participation -- it's purely verbal because they don't credit on who makes the best presentation visually speaking or even if you're researching the facilitator will prompt you.

    Anyways, I always make sure I give some smart answer with regard to the problem statement of the day and I find myself that if I asked questions in presentations I would get a better grade if I did. My end goal of the day is to get an A grade. A B grade would be fine but it's not what I want. No less. I work my ass off to get the grade and it seems as though I do most of the work in terms of directing the team, job assignment, quality control and research material.

    This would all seem 3-ish behavior but the important thing to note is the motivation. WHY am I like this, WHY do I act this way. Not quite sure on the answer on that, but as of now I feel as though it is rage. I do not know how shame is in relation to my past, so someone could clarify that for me?
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  6. #46
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    the reason I'm looking more into 3 is that it's the type that really makes me go "omg! please tell me I'm not that!"

    But it was based only on a few negative stereotypes you hold about 3s in a kind of "definition by inessentials."

    Riso writes: "Looking back at Threes, we see that they go astray by abandoning themselves, rejecting their own heart's desire in order to become the kind of person that they believe will be more acceptable and worthwhile. As a result, Threes develop only certain parts of themselves, like bodybuilders who focus on the development of only one aspect of their physique instead of seeking overall balance...Because Threes are so adept at promoting favorable impressions of themselves, it is not apparent that they may be very undeveloped human beings beneath their image."

    The part after the ellipses may explain why you appear to be so genuinely healthy-minded.


    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    which makes it more likely (even if 3w4s can be pretty cool). it goes back and forth with 8 though because I don't base my self worth externally at all (or else my self worth would not be nearly as high as it is now lol I have nothing externally to be proud of). the needs of the heart center and gut center are also so different. I tend to view 3s as weak for needing other people, but with the very specific instance of 3w4 sp/sx they seem to need people a lot less
    Yes. Threes need the admiration of others regarding their achievements. But the 3w4s hide this need behind a facade of professionalism, thus their desire for admiration is more concealed.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
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  7. #47
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uwace View Post
    Then in that case I would be a 3w4

    It's either I have a really strong 3w4 fix or I'm really a 3w4.
    It's too often the case that not wanting to be a Three - based on some of the negative stereotypes that have been going around for decades - is a cause of mistyping oneself. It doesn't seem to affect typing others, however.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  8. #48
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mal12345 View Post
    But it was based only on a few negative stereotypes you hold about 3s in a kind of "definition by inessentials."

    Riso writes: "Looking back at Threes, we see that they go astray by abandoning themselves, rejecting their own heart's desire in order to become the kind of person that they believe will be more acceptable and worthwhile. As a result, Threes develop only certain parts of themselves, like bodybuilders who focus on the development of only one aspect of their physique instead of seeking overall balance...Because Threes are so adept at promoting favorable impressions of themselves, it is not apparent that they may be very undeveloped human beings beneath their image."

    The part after the ellipses may explain why you appear to be so genuinely healthy-minded.




    Yes. Threes need the admiration of others regarding their achievements. But the 3w4s hide this need behind a facade of professionalism, thus their desire for admiration is more concealed.
    if I do desire admiration from others, it's hidden VERY deeply. you're right, 3w2's need for admiration is much more obvious and readily displayed and it seems like they're willing to do more to get it. 3w4s are more "ha! you don't really think I'm going to do THAT"
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  9. #49
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    is there such thing as a "counter image" 3 like they have phobic and counter phobic 6s? lol
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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  10. #50
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    is there such thing as a "counter image" 3 like they have phobic and counter phobic 6s? lol
    The 3w4 might be called the counter-image type of 3. In this case the 3s are still dependent upon the opinions of others, except for the fact that they try to go counter to expectations. Not social role-models, but anti-social "role models."
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

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