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Thread: Cool 3w4s?

  1. #141
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    agreed, I share a in common with 4w3, the thing that gets me though is the shame. 4s are said to be very aware of and expressive of their shame, I have virtually no shame about anything. perhaps it was there when I was younger, but today I virtually never feel shame, guilt or worthlessness. anger on the other hand, that one does pop up on occassion
    Do you never feel guilty when you do someting wrong or hurt someone's feelings? Embarassment =/= guilt, though they are related, in a way.
    Last edited by Viridian; 06-14-2011 at 01:44 PM. Reason: Damn commas, how do they work?

  2. #142
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    Do you never feel guilty when you do someting wrong, or hurt someone's feelings? Embarassment =/= guilt, though they are related, in a way.
    I was wondering the same thing, his response is always something along the lines of "oh it was just a vent !" that doesn't make it ok. Advice for Elfboy, practice a little more tact and think before you speak/type. You come off as being ignorant, arrogant, and rude when you don't.
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  3. #143
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    Do you never feel guilty when you do someting wrong or hurt someone's feelings? Embarassment =/= guilt, though they are related, in a way.
    I don't.
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  4. #144
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    really?
    King's gift as a speaker is his ability to use cadence and word choice to overwhelm the listener like an ever-rising tide. He specifically wasn't a fiery speaker - Malcolm X, on the other hand, was.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    I don't.
    Don't believe you. If you really didn't, you'd still say you did, because you didn't know any differently.

  5. #145
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparrow View Post
    I was wondering the same thing, his response is always something along the lines of "oh it was just a vent !" that doesn't make it ok. Advice for Elfboy, practice a little more tact and think before you speak/type. You come off as being ignorant, arrogant, and rude when you don't.
    well, frankly I am a little arrogant. I was expecting a post like this from you sooner or later, although it was delivered much more kindly than I anticipated, thankyou for that. what I mean is that you seem to be under the impression that I am much nicer and caring than I really am, probably because you yourself are kind and well intentioned yourself (you certainly seem to be) and assume that others are as well (almost every FJ I've known has thought this about me and then later thought "you're heartless! I hate you!" you're much more understanding than that though). my persona is very raw and full of attitude and I am extremely choleric, and one of the misconceptions about choleric people is that they are often much less caring than they appear and care more for ambitions than they do people (it is assumed they are caring because their speech is straight forward and often very convicted). while I don't particularly care for people's emotions, I do try to make it a point to be polite (within limits), although I do vent on occassion, I am honest about it afterword. however, I am unapologetic unless someone can prove to me that i did something wrong, this does not include people misinterpreting what I say (which isn't the case with you, but it is for much of the forum).
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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  6. #146
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    I don't.
    What do you feel, then, when you perceive that you've done something hurtful to someone you care about? I'm talking about what you feel, not how you respond - it'd pretty dang Eightish to pretend not to have a more vulnerable, less 100% secure side.

  7. #147
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    What do you feel, then, when you perceive that you've done something hurtful to someone you care about? I'm talking about what you feel, not how you respond - it'd pretty dang Eightish to pretend not to have a more vulnerable, less 100% secure side.
    I have to opposite problem. I described above how I feel, which is close to nothing, but how I respond is "okay, what's the damage? how do I fix it?" and that's about it. little to no emotion attached
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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  8. #148
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    I have to opposite problem. I described above how I feel, which is close to nothing, but how I respond is "okay, what's the damage? how do I fix it?" and that's about it. little to no emotion attached
    Interesting... Sounds like Te to me, though I also find it strange, given how Fi users are sometimes described as cognizant of their emotional states, if not always accepting of the same.

    Tell me something: which of these two descriptions resonates best with you?

    a) The reactive types tend to want to get a reaction from others. When a reactive type is upset, they don't want the other person to stay calm. They want to see their negative emotions mirrored by others. They are often referred to as the "truth tellers of the enneagram" for the simple reason that reactive types can pick up on the more troubled aspects of a situation before other types do. If the positive outlook types err by focusing too much on the positive, reactive types can err by focusing too much on the negative. What they're seeing may, in fact, be there, but what comes across as barely perceptible to other types comes across like a flashing neon sign to the reactive types, and it's very difficult for them to not address it.

    b) The competency types tends to want to sort through things logically and strategically, seeing feelings as distractions that keep them from dealing with things in an efficient manner. Unlike the reactive types, they don't want others to see when something has upset them, but rather maintain emotional control and deal with things as effectively as possible. If the positive outlook errs by looking at the positive side, and reactive types err at being too tuned in to the negative, the competency types err by not dealing with their emotions and authentic responses.

    For a fleeting moment, I actually wondered ifyou were a sociopath. Can ya believe it?

  9. #149
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    Interesting... Sounds like Te to me, though I also find it strange, given how Fi users are sometimes described as cognizant of their emotional states, if not always accepting of the same.

    Tell me something: which of these two descriptions resonates best with you?

    a) The reactive types tend to want to get a reaction from others. When a reactive type is upset, they don't want the other person to stay calm. They want to see their negative emotions mirrored by others. They are often referred to as the "truth tellers of the enneagram" for the simple reason that reactive types can pick up on the more troubled aspects of a situation before other types do. If the positive outlook types err by focusing too much on the positive, reactive types can err by focusing too much on the negative. What they're seeing may, in fact, be there, but what comes across as barely perceptible to other types comes across like a flashing neon sign to the reactive types, and it's very difficult for them to not address it.

    b) The competency types tends to want to sort through things logically and strategically, seeing feelings as distractions that keep them from dealing with things in an efficient manner. Unlike the reactive types, they don't want others to see when something has upset them, but rather maintain emotional control and deal with things as effectively as possible. If the positive outlook errs by looking at the positive side, and reactive types err at being too tuned in to the negative, the competency types err by not dealing with their emotions and authentic responses.

    For a fleeting moment, I actually wondered ifyou were a sociopath. Can ya believe it?

    Edit: actually looking at it again, about 70% b, 30% a
    Edit 2: bold; I believe I am mildy sociopathic I'm completely unphased by death. if my entire dorm burned down and everyone died except me, I wouldn't really be sad. the only think I would think would be "damn! I lost my computer and my wardrobe!"
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  10. #150
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    Edit: actually looking at it again, about 70% b, 30% a
    Edit 2: bold; I believe I am mildy sociopathic I'm completely unphased by death. if my entire dorm burned down and everyone died except me, I wouldn't really be sad. the only think I would think would be "damn! I lost my computer and my wardrobe!"
    I think plenty of people think that way...you're just not supposed to admit it.
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