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  1. #1
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Default How do Nines react to failure?

    I was wondering about E-Type Nines, and how they deal with things when life turns sour... Dear Nines, how do you deal with failure or rejection? Do you shrug it off, go "c'est la vie" and "keep on trucking", as they say? Do you withdraw and dwell on what could have been done to avoid the situation? Do you instinctively feel bad about yourselves when that happens? Does it depend on wings?

    Your answers are much appreciated!

  2. #2
    Ginkgo
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    Most people need to reconcile failure in their hearts before they can move on. Otherwise they dunk their heads in it, sometimes to the point where they cripple themselves. Failure is only failure if you make it so.

  3. #3
    Freaking Ratchet Rail Tracer's Avatar
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    Depends on how big or small the failure is. If it is big, "no big deal" is sort of just escaping the problem. If it is small (like I forgot something,) "No big deal, I'll remember the next time" works. To make it short I either:

    Prevent failure from happening.
    Understand what brought me to failure in the first place
    Reconcile the failure with myself, "what happen has happened... let it go and let's move on... can't let it occupy my mind forever." <---- this stage usually takes the longest.

    What I do has a bigger impact on myself than what others do. "No big deal" only goes so far.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Thanks for the responses, guys!

    Quote Originally Posted by Mystic Tater View Post
    Most people need to reconcile failure in their hearts before they can move on. Otherwise they dunk their heads in it, sometimes to the point where they cripple themselves. Failure is only failure if you make it so.
    I understand, I just meant, like, what's the Nine's immediate response? Are they all like, "I feel like such a failure! ", or do they mostly shrug it off immediately? If they do feel inadequate as a knee-jerk reaction, is this a "sustained" (as in, they take a long time to get over it) response?

  5. #5
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    There's usually a period in which I seclude myself from the world and just distract my thoughts from any pain, but at first I just numb out until I can get away from everything. So I think it's more of a sustained response.
    5 3 9

  6. #6
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King-Of-Despair View Post
    There's usually a period in which I seclude myself from the world and just distract my thoughts from any pain, but at first I just numb out until I can get away from everything. So I think it's more of a sustained response.
    Thanks for the answer! If you "numb it out" as you say, though, does it really count as a "sustained" response? I meant to use the word more in the sense of "dwelling on things".

    I do admit this thread was not made entirely without personal reason... I've been torn between 6, 9, 5, 1 and even 2 for quite a while, and I've heard the "zen master" Nine is more indicative of 9w8s than 9w1s, so I wanted to know if the Nine dwells on things like Six is said to do...

  7. #7

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    Sometimes I shrug it off and keep moving forward. Other times I get angry and think about throwing it all in, then move forward. I don't numb things out when I feel emotions over failure, it is always anger, sometimes guilt. Sometimes I bug people close to me. There probably was a time when I tried numbing things out, but really it is better to sit with it.

  8. #8
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Fix it, rationalise it or just re-find my balance and accept it.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  9. #9
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    Thanks for the answer! If you "numb it out" as you say, though, does it really count as a "sustained" response? I meant to use the word more in the sense of "dwelling on things".

    I do admit this thread was not made entirely without personal reason... I've been torn between 6, 9, 5, 1 and even 2 for quite a while, and I've heard the "zen master" Nine is more indicative of 9w8s than 9w1s, so I wanted to know if the Nine dwells on things like Six is said to do...
    Hmmm... I think there might be a difference between my internal reactions and my external. On the outside, I'll hide any feeling, I'll keep going as if nothing happened at all, which is what I meant by "numbing out". On the inside, I feel pain, regret etc. I try to avoid these feelings through distraction, I don't dwell on them if I can help it, I shut them off. I might also go and vent any anger or frustration, although I don't usually notice any of my own anger at the time. I feel strong because I don't break down, I move on very quickly. The only problem is the problems that manifest from such failures are sometimes left untouched, and usually I take some time to come to terms with it, then eventually fix it.

    This is from Claudio Naranjo:

    Types at the top of the enneagram are more thick-skinned like elephants, with this become thinner towards the bottom of the Enneagram.
    And of course, 9 is at the very top
    5 3 9

  10. #10
    Kraken down on piracy Lux's Avatar
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    I pretty much agree with the above. I tend to roll with the punches and float through situations no matter what happens.... sometimes however, they are weightier than I gave them credit for consciously and they build up enough that I can't suppress the emotion I feel of the failure (even if I am unaware that I am suppressing anything) and it takes me a bit of time to deal with something that I thought I had totally under control. It could be months or years before the emotion spills over the brim. Once I realize it was there all along and I was numb, which btw, is a good word in my case, I go into reflection mode and figure it out. I also agree with Wolfy about numbing, and I almost wish it was possible for me to deal with things with anger, I think anger is more of a 'real time' emotion. But then again, I'm sort of happy I very rarely experience that...
    "It is not length of life, but depth of life." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

    "Thought breeds thought." ~ Henry David Thoreau

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