(i write this with full admission that i potentially could be, though am really probably not, a 3 myself, which may be causing some of the problems. it's strong in my trifix, i suspect)
so one of my good friends is an obvious, strong 3w4, and love her to death though i do, i get very frustrated by her self-promotion sometimes. i feel like she's always trying to come up with the next way to make herself look good, and often she tries to insert that into whatever we're doing. she's really quite brilliant and talented (not just appearances... she really is), and i'm proud of her for it - tbh i'm a little pretentious myself and only tend to hang around overachieving people like that - but sometimes i feel like she always has to be in the spotlight, which doesn't leave any room for me in the spotlight. not that i want it all the time, but everyone deserves to shine at something. i love when two people are experts at their respective domains. yet often when i do something better than her, she'll downplay it - as if my skill is unimportant or, more powerfully, distasteful. or just ignore it altogether.
it's not a big facet of our relationship, and i'm plenty competent myself, but i have moments where i'm just stuck in terms of how to respond. i'm not down on myself by nature, but i am competitive, and her constant promotion causes me to go into little occasional bouts of frustration and pessimism. i realize that this is my own personal problem as much as hers, but i wonder what i can do on my end to try to neutralize both of us. currently i'm just trying to respond less the more she promotes - sort of a negative reinforcement thing. i'm hoping she (consciously or subconsciously) just starts shifting away from being like that with me, and then i can support her genuinely. what i find really interesting is that i think it bugs her if i don't succeed, too. like, it's paradoxical in some ways. she can't stand for me to not succeed (which, neither can i, so that works out), but she has a hard time sharing the spotlight, too. she needs to be in control of it or she's uncomfortable.
anyway. do any of you guys have advice, or experience in similar situations?