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Thread: 3/4/3

  1. #31
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    aw starry i wouldn't assume! i never really thought my voice was pretty. i actually got teased for it by some dumb kids in 5th grade because it tends to be quite high when i'm friendly/excited and much lower when i'm sarcastic. they said i was "trying not to be a man"? lol. i am quite feminine in general but definitely have a little tomboy streak, too.

    anyway feel free to hijack the thread all you want, it doesn't bother me all the better if the thread can help people besides just me!!

    i'll probably just continue to blather on about myself anyway

    this is what i could see myself as: 6w7 sx/so ~~

    Quote Originally Posted by 6w7 - LifeExplore, "Seeking Security and Stimulation"
    Sixes with a 7 wing are generally outgoing and may appear more overtly nervous. More plainly want to be liked and will pursue others in contrast to 5 wing who pulls in. Can be charming, sociable, ingratiating. Have a faster tempo, stronger connection to 3. Often self-preservation subtypes, characterized by a personal warmth. Can have a cheerful, forward-looking drive and be disarmingly funny. Self-effacing, gracious and curious. When more entranced, may be self-contradicting and seem as if they want two things at once. Sometimes test others overtly, drive you crazy with mixed messages. It may be hard to follow what they're saying. When threatened, one defense is to become impossible to please. When counterphobic, they tend to be accusative. Some get caught up in big plans that they hope will result in material security. Also can be insecure, irritable, petty, irrational, chaotic. Subject to mood swings, inferiority complexes, runaway fears. May have hair-trigger flare-ups of paranoia. Falsely accuse others and then seem not to realize it. Other times they plead to be taken care of. Sometimes defensively conservative in their lifestyle. Some struggle with appetite.
    Quote Originally Posted by 6 sx-first - Udit Patel, "Feisty Vulnerability"/ Ichazo's "Strength and Beauty"
    Sexual Sixes get their sense of security primarily from their emotional bond with a significant other. But they also have many doubts, both about their own ability to have a suitable mate and about the mate's ability or willingness to really be there for them. Sexual Sixes often manifest a tension between their gender roles: they are both masculine and feminine, "macho" and coquettish. Moreover, Sexual Six women have a tough, tomboy side to them but still come across as feminine. Similarly, the men of this Variant display a sensitivity and vulnerability while being essentially masculine. Sexual Sixes also tend to be emotionally intense, like Eights and Fours. Part of this comes from anxiety about their ability to keep a strong, capable partner. Thus, Sexual Sixes try to cultivate their masculine or feminine attributes in order to find a good partner and, later, to remain appealing to this person. Often, they feel most comfortable relating to members of the opposite sex and may feel competitive with the same sex. They also tend to test their significant others to see if they are strong enough and to make sure that they are really committed to the relationship. When more stressed, Sexual Sixes can be emotionally volatile, with their feelings about people changing strongly and suddenly. They fall into suspiciousness about their partner and can be quite jealous, while at the same time feeling a strong need to "prove" their desirability.
    Quote Originally Posted by 6 sx-first - LifeExplore, "Seeking Intimacy/Intensity"
    Sixes with this subtype tend to act strong or seductive when insecure. They are much more likely to be counterphobic, especially the men. May seem like Eights, take risks, talk tough. Act powerful and in control at the times when they feel most frightened. Worry about looking weak, having their fears show. May act arrogant but aren't really. Some study martial arts or seek a way of life that makes them strong. Beauty is another focus; trying to seem attractive so as to contain fear, get approval, and distract others. May consciously hide behind a seductive mask. Unlike Threes, Sixes know they are hiding. Can act cool and patrician or be flirty. Some have a focus on aesthetics. This subtype often has a stronger connection to the vanity of 3.
    Quote Originally Posted by 6 so-first - Seeking Acceptance/Belonging/Inclusion/Status - Udit Patel, "Generating Support (Ichazo's "Duty")"
    Social Sixes look for security in the social sphere—that is, through their affiliations with different people and organizations. They are warm, engaging, and humorous, trying to send out the message that they are approachable and safe. They like to enlist people, getting others involved in projects or activities they see as worthwhile. Social Sixes frequently volunteer to work in groups and committees. They do not necessarily enjoy doing this, but they see it is necessary and so are willing to give their time and energy. They want to be regarded as regular guys or gals and may have difficulty taking stands that would be unpopular in their peer groups. They seek consensus before moving ahead with their agendas and they want to feel that others are "with them," backing them up. Although Social Sixes like being involved, they often become nervous about holding positions of responsibility because they are afraid that they will have to make decisions that others will not like, thus losing their support. When more insecure, their suspiciousness may lead them to form in-groups and out-groups in the workplace or in other social or societal areas.
    it could explain why i feel so much like a 3 but do not act like a 3.

  2. #32
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    marmalade i watched your video (took me forever because my internet has been really glitchy and won't load full videos lately) - anyway you have a really ENFP appeal, lol... but you know what i mean? like you seem open, fun, positive, easy to like but still anchored in what you believe. i like you i do think we are similar in a lot of ways (well, mbti of course lol), though you seem more readily assertive/confronting? i think i am more hesitant, just overall. i also totally know what you mean about the lazy/driven split, haha! when you talked about liking old architecture, you really reminded me for a second of a friend of mine from college, i think she was INFP 4w3.

    i like your ankle bracelet too

    one thing i found really interesting was that i'm actually pretty much the opposite in terms of attention, i like random people on the street to notice me (even when i'm dressed down... i usually have a "look" i'm after - like i'll wear jeans and a big hoodie but with dark makeup or something, i rarely go out without at least a little makeup) - but i really don't like being on stage much, unless i'm just doing something passive like getting an award (love that) - i don't really like performing unless i'm actively engaging the audience, because if i'm not, i get caught up in my own head and freak myself out. i have been performing like that since i was young, and i learned how to mask my anxiety, but i always totally freak out inside. in the beginning i put up with it because i was supposed to (young kid taking music lessons as directed by parents, wanted to please parents and teacher), later put up with it i do love giving presentations, though, because i can (and do) engage openly with the audience. i don't think i behave in a way that draws attention openly, but i try to be pretty/elegant/fun/etc.

    general question/funny reflection... when you guys do video conferencing with a friend... do you watch their screen, or yours? because i totally spend as much time making sure i look okay as paying attention to them


    in all honesty, i shy away from typing myself as a 3 because i do not think i live up to the 3. i see healthy 3s and would like to be like that, and while i can be like them for my own reasons, i do not know if i could sustain being like that in the same way the 3s i know do - moving forward without as much introspection. which is not to say that they are not really brilliant, many of them are, they really are "shining stars", but i don't know how self-aware they are in the sense of knowing themselves deeply inside. i need to really think about things before diving in. i am less ambitious as a result, but i'm fairly self-aware. though it might just be the 3 population i'm comparing myself to.

  3. #33
    Whisky Old & Women Young Speed Gavroche's Avatar
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    I remember that on that thread you talked about your strong about your fear/anxiety issues: http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...7w6-6w5-2.html

    it could explain why i feel so much like a 3 but do not act like a 3.
    That's waht I wanted to explain.

    Saslou is a 6w7 Sx/So herself, I'll put several other examples.

    [youtube=6b9HCDdi5uQ]Saslou 6w7 Sx/So[/youtube]

    6w7 Sx/So
    Leeloo: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eV_eGm1qgGs
    Jeanne d'Arc: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UM-gu...eature=related
    Harry Burns: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFWGO...eature=related
    Erin Brokovich: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TjEklyF7-E
    Dennis Rodman: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CrDbBBAbEY
    Ann Coulter: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZab9LWw3z0
    Axl Rose http: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MhLl...eature=related
    Mike tyson: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1kzP...eature=related
    Kylie Minogue: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2AYkODq8k8
    Milla Jovovich: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h69jErGDmqU
    Faith: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toikP4JPue4
    Eliza Dushku: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR_fvY87DfY
    Amy Winehouse: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6kWDfPzqO4
    Lady Gaga: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Puhv6V_grvo
    Lindsay Lohan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnI1_YHETsE
    Nikki Reed http: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEzIj4PQRi8&feature=fvsr
    Andy Sixx: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xGheGQ75kY
    Taylor Momsen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Apwi...layer_embedded

    Also, I don't know if you've seen that movie, but the actress play actually their own type.


    Evie's character: 6w7 So/Sx
    Nikki's character: 6w7 Sx/So
    EsTP 6w7 Sx/Sp

    Chaotic Neutral

    E=60% S=55% T=70% P=80%

    "I don't believe in guilt, I only believe in living on impulses"

    "Stereotypes about personality and gender turn out to be fairly accurate: ... On the binary Myers-Briggs measure, the thinking-feeling breakdown is about 30/70 for women versus 60/40 for men." ~ Bryan Caplan

  4. #34
    Whisky Old & Women Young Speed Gavroche's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StarryKnights View Post
    Speed...do you have an example of a 7w6 sp/sx? Or 7w6 sx/sp? (I fear the 7 sx will be like the lead singer of Poison or something).

    I don't want to hijack skylight's thread...but Marm has changed her e-type to 6w7...and skylights is still considering it (?). I so do not have a beautiful voice LOL.
    I hav'nt figured out Brett Michael's type, but yes he could really be a Sexual 7w6. I know that Bono and Robert Plant are 7w6 Sx/So; Richard Branson as well.

    Now for 7w6 Sp/Sx, I know a girl who is of that type, she's ENFJ. What could I say to you about her? Because I'm not sure to know any famous example of that type, but for the adjascent type, I have.

    7w6 Sp/So
    Steven Spielberg:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBH89Y0Xj7c
    Elton John:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQ4_NSc4Oh0

    7w8 Sp/Sx
    Linda Lee Bukowski:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHAW6cBVjro
    Bruce Willis:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ej8k-kL1Wk

    6w7 Sp/Sx
    Calista Flockart:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcJM_Fe42Xg
    Dido:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEvsMb9yZAY
    Willow:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lBPH5BJnek*

    7w6 Sx/Sp
    Salvador Dali:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXT2E9Ccc8A
    Zsa Zsa Gabor:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmZLHCKphi4
    Ava Gardner:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2hy6fyheIA
    Nina Hagen:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4QXi3APfoI

    Also, I suspect Meher Baba was a 7w6 Sp/Sx or Sx/Sp, but I'm not sure:

    [youtube=rt4xVI2odKw]Meher Baba (?)7w6 Sp/Sx-Sx/Sp(?)[/youtube]
    EsTP 6w7 Sx/Sp

    Chaotic Neutral

    E=60% S=55% T=70% P=80%

    "I don't believe in guilt, I only believe in living on impulses"

    "Stereotypes about personality and gender turn out to be fairly accurate: ... On the binary Myers-Briggs measure, the thinking-feeling breakdown is about 30/70 for women versus 60/40 for men." ~ Bryan Caplan

  5. #35
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    Yep, I must be a six..."Unlike 3s, 6s know they are hiding." I'm also more self-aware and introspective like skylights said.

    I've never believed in the illusion of "baby I'm a star." It's what I saw as seperating myself from my ex when I believed I was 4w3 and he an actual 3 (I'm absolutely certain he's a 3w2, now). I don't believe in narcissistic illusions. I see it as kind of hollow and sad. This is probably why 3 is more associated with ExxJ types, or Fe (my ex is ESFJ) because they will accomplish and be driven to have the outward tangible markings of success. I just don't have that.

  6. #36
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    Yep, I must be a six..."Unlike 3s, 6s know they are hiding." I'm also more self-aware and introspective like skylights said.

    Yes, introspective as any NFP! has not much to fo with MBTI

    ANd what u said a few times about being a kid who would jump on tables and dance and attract attention is very three and very much not six
    I've never believed in the illusion of "baby I'm a star." It's what I saw as seperating myself from my ex when I believed I was 4w3 and he an actual 3 (I'm absolutely certain he's a 3w2, now). I don't believe in narcissistic illusions. I see it as kind of hollow and sad. This is probably why 3 is more associated with ExxJ types, or Fe (my ex is ESFJ) because they will accomplish and be driven to have the outward tangible markings of success. I just don't have that.
    You honestly believe all 3s are like that ???

    Nina from Black Swan is excellent atypical example of 3!

    1) 3s are, unlike 7s, not narcissistic without merit because they have esteem based on success - so they are pretty much self critical and self aware
    2) Threes arent born to be competitive, unaware shallow beings - they are born to become the most authentic of all types (in enneagram gift is what makes most problems at the same time), so healthy 3 would be "I dont take this fake BS anymore! enough! I want to be authentic and havd my own goals and values. " and can very easily spot BS/masks in other people bc they have seen through themselves and their potential blind spots
    Ex., i am 1000% i am a 3 and i kind of even despise fake tendencies in me to a point of doing everythinng to become authentic. I think i am more self critical than most non-3s in this aspect because i am awakened and ive seen through my own masks.
    It goes with being NF and not tolerating inauthentic life
    ESTJ 3 would tolerate it for much longer if not forever
    In my own case there is also asoect that i had many huge personal tragedies that urged md in the last few yrs to search for myself and not take my own BS.

    And last and most important ; comment on general direction of this thread : Enneagram is NOT DESCRIPTIVE system!!!!!!

  7. #37
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    sorry if you thought i was implying that, petra, it wasn't meant to say all 3s are like that.

    i just don't understand, if i'm really a 3, then why do i have this pressing image of myself sitting down with a group of 3s and just not fitting in? why doesn't it feel right?


    i feel like i would "belong" slightly better amongst a group of 6s, 7s, 4.

    bah. ironically, i feel like i understand myself less than i did before encountering the enneagram.

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    sorry if you thought i was implying that, petra, it wasn't meant to say all 3s are like that.

    i just don't understand, if i'm really a 3, then why do i have this pressing image of myself sitting down with a group of 3s and just not fitting in? why doesn't it feel right?


    i feel like i would "belong" slightly better amongst a group of 6s, 7s, 4.

    bah. ironically, i feel like i understand myself less than i did before encountering the enneagram.
    3 doesn't "feel" right to me either, and I always test as 4 or 6.

    The way I was convinced for a little while is that 3 disintegrates at 9 and integrates at 6.

  9. #39
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    hey marm want to make our own type? we can be 10s

    aesthetic image-conscious occasionally ballsy introspectives.

    oh and speed, i forgot to mention, the astrology info i had came from here: http://alabe.com/freechart/
    it's nice, you plug in your info and it spits out a natal chart and corresponding interpretations.

  10. #40
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Okay, well, I jotted down some phrases while listening to the video. Here's my impressions (if it helps):

    Question 2 response:
    fear being meaningless
    no meaning in the grand scheme
    not have made any meaning in own life
    have a reason to exist
    worst to just exist, make meaning in your own life
    life is big dance - worst thing is not participating
    dancing in the wrong way
    afraid of not doing the right pattern, something that really represents who I am
    have a hard time figuring out who I am/should be
    This answer struck me as 3 the most. Meaningless ---> create significance ----> find a sense importance (not necessarily in yourself, but in the world) -----> drive to succeed / make an impact ------> success/status/achievement. I wish more profiles would emphasize the former parts of that link, because I think those are the healthier 3s. The unhealthy 3s are the ones stuck on shallow status, but it stems from needing significance in life.

    4s would talk more about fear of being ordinary, losing autonomy, not being able to express themselves in a unique way, etc. Although there is some 4-ish sounding stuff at the end, as far as "something that really represents who I am". If you were a 4, I'd expect talk like that to dominate your answers though....

    There is a touch of 7, possibly.....the participation part. 7s are about experience & exploration in life, and they seek to give life meaning in a sense by seeking that out. However, for them, its an end unto itself, but it sounds like to me you want some kind of results, to make some kind of a difference.

    Question 1 response:
    feel like someone has brought things out of balance
    function threads, way Fi was demonstrated as compared to Fe
    felt unfair, harmful, not represented correctly
    if people get false idea that Fi has no warmth, negative consequences too look at people/assume, bring things into balance

    not represented correctly, think that of you or other people like you
    fight fire with fire, panic, need to speak up
    backed into noble corner

    sense of universal balance being thrown off
    idea that everything deserves love & respect & identity
    needs to be defended
    The focus on balance struck me as 9 in a way - they have a strong pull to maintain/create harmony & fairness.

    However, it could be a 3 combating negative press, so to speak. 3s can be very aware of their reputation, and fear a bad one, and especially if they have a 4 wing, fear an inaccurate one. 4s can care less about negative reps, however, as long as they are accurate (and may even secretly like being misunderstood at times).

    I'm not hearing much 6 in this way......I suppose it doesn't help that much because they were your considerations anyway, but I'd go with 3w4 or 7w6 as most likely.


    Quote Originally Posted by Petra Pan View Post
    Yes, introspective as any NFP! has not much to fo with MBTI

    ANd what u said a few times about being a kid who would jump on tables and dance and attract attention is very three and very much not six


    You honestly believe all 3s are like that ???

    Nina from Black Swan is excellent atypical example of 3!

    1) 3s are, unlike 7s, not narcissistic without merit because they have esteem based on success - so they are pretty much self critical and self aware
    2) Threes arent born to be competitive, unaware shallow beings - they are born to become the most authentic of all types (in enneagram gift is what makes most problems at the same time), so healthy 3 would be "I dont take this fake BS anymore! enough! I want to be authentic and havd my own goals and values. " and can very easily spot BS/masks in other people bc they have seen through themselves and their potential blind spots
    Ex., i am 1000% i am a 3 and i kind of even despise fake tendencies in me to a point of doing everythinng to become authentic. I think i am more self critical than most non-3s in this aspect because i am awakened and ive seen through my own masks.
    It goes with being NF and not tolerating inauthentic life
    ESTJ 3 would tolerate it for much longer if not forever
    In my own case there is also aspect that i had many huge personal tragedies that urged md in the last few yrs to search for myself and not take my own BS.

    And last and most important ; comment on general direction of this thread : Enneagram is NOT DESCRIPTIVE system!!!!!!
    Great points about 3s. I definitely agree.
    And so I don't sound contradictory, don't confuse my unaware of deeply rooted, basic motivations with unaware of self in general.

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    i just don't understand, if i'm really a 3, then why do i have this pressing image of myself sitting down with a group of 3s and just not fitting in? why doesn't it feel right?
    That's called a 4 wing
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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