So I just started going back to school with my eyes on becoming a transpersonal psychologist with a concentration in art therapy. From an interest point of view, I think it seems pretty cool. I like the idea of using art to help people work through/solve their issues. I find the mind, the soul, fascinating, and I love art. I like the idea of empowering people to deal with their problems, vs them relying on me for advice.
My problem... people drain the hell out of me. I am currently taking one art class that meets twice a week and even though I barely talk to anyone, I am wiped for the remainder of the day. Otherwise, I pretty much hide out in my house doing my thing, go for walks solo, spend brief moments with friends, and spend time with my husband and kids.
Since college, I've had a handful of jobs, never careers, none of them using my talents. Otherwise, I've stayed home with my kids (who are now in school). I've never understood how most people have the boundless amounts of energy they seem to have. Conversely, I'm sure they've never understood how I can sit and read for hours, and how I seem to completely relish time alone.
I need to find a career. I need to do something that matters to me, that I'm good at. I hate relying on my husband for money. I hate that I'm not doing something real, tangible, that I can look at and be proud about. I thought I found something but now I'm frightened I won't be able to cut it, that it will suck the life out of me. That I will have nothing left to give my husband and kids.
I worked on a novel for a year, which was cool. The issue with that is that I found myself researching more than writing and I could never finish it because of that. Also, it caused major marital strain because I was so hyperfocused on my book/deep in my head I forgot how to interact with other humans.
This may sound like a blog entry; for that I am sorry. But I'm looking for solutions here. Any input, advice?