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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by jontherobot View Post
    "What's a 4 all about again?"

    "I'm a four."

    "You can't be a four, THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! *draws sword*"


    true story.
    Yes... Only one!!! (keeps sword hidden and approaches with evil intent)
    Highlander_Alternate_Movie_Poster.jpg

    ...I have to really be constantly on the game cause I'm also an INFJ and...also...there can only be one!!!!

  2. #52
    Senior Member Phoenix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    I try to minimise the negative impact my reaching out would cause to people, and I try to show myself the compassion I would show someone else in my position.
    How I envy Fi when I read things like this. My SO is a Type 2 and she can still balance reaching out versus expecting to be reached back. With my Fe at pretty much over-blown levels, when I end up in the Type 2 disintegration range, I find myself reaching out to people just for company's sake and go out of my way to keep people close by doing them favours, listening to them only talk about themselves while putting my own needs on the back-burner. I turn into an unhealthy ENFJ Type 2 and even though I have this nagging voice in the back of my head telling me to take better care of myself, I continue to ignore it till I'm completely spent and have absolutely no energy/desire left to communicate with the outside world.

    Ugh .. I hate my Fe sometimes. That said ... others who are at the benefit of it seem to love it and think that I'm the most self-less person on earth. Little do they know just how hard and draining it is for me to keep up that kind of "giving". It comes from a selfish, needy core where I decide that just because someone else is spending time talking to me, I'm getting what I want, when deep down that is not the case. I want more but can't express that I do.

  3. #53
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix View Post
    How I envy Fi when I read things like this. My SO is a Type 2 and she can still balance reaching out versus expecting to be reached back. With my Fe at pretty much over-blown levels, when I end up in the Type 2 disintegration range, I find myself reaching out to people just for company's sake and go out of my way to keep people close by doing them favours, listening to them only talk about themselves while putting my own needs on the back-burner. I turn into an unhealthy ENFJ Type 2 and even though I have this nagging voice in the back of my head telling me to take better care of myself, I continue to ignore it till I'm completely spent and have absolutely no energy/desire left to communicate with the outside world.

    Ugh .. I hate my Fe sometimes. That said ... others who are at the benefit of it seem to love it and think that I'm the most self-less person on earth. Little do they know just how hard and draining it is for me to keep up that kind of "giving". It comes from a selfish, needy core where I decide that just because someone else is spending time talking to me, I'm getting what I want, when deep down that is not the case. I want more but can't express that I do.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix View Post
    Ugh .. I hate my Fe sometimes. That said ... others who are at the benefit of it seem to love it and think that I'm the most self-less person on earth. Little do they know just how hard and draining it is for me to keep up that kind of "giving". It comes from a selfish, needy core where I decide that just because someone else is spending time talking to me, I'm getting what I want, when deep down that is not the case. I want more but can't express that I do.
    I hate my Fe too. I don't know how Fe doms deal with that beast. Maybe they should give Fe auxes "Taming your Fe" lessons since I'm sure they've had to develop strategies to survive.

  5. #55
    Senior Member Phoenix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reverie View Post
    I hate my Fe too. I don't know how Fe doms deal with that beast. Maybe they should give Fe auxes "Taming your Fe" lessons since I'm sure they've had to develop strategies to survive.
    I have a Type 2 ENFJ friend .. and I've been observing her behaviour ... She's just very free when it comes to expressing herself and her feelings when she wants to. She does consider my feelings by throwing in a few placating words of warning .. but does eventually unload which I really appreciate because it makes me feel trusted enough.

    Slowly I realized that since Fe with inferior Ti is the way she operates in the world, I think she rationalizes her emotional unloading as "I'm burdening you today because I know you'll be doing it some other day and I'll be there for you when you do". Which is something she does .. It's like equivalent exchange with her and I really appreciate her for it.

    It sounds like a simple enough strategy on the onset --- but I'm personally not sure how to apply it to myself. I try to do the same, but I always either over-reach .. i.e. really over-burden someone with the weight of my emotions ... or not say anything at all and still make them worry .. in the end, I divert to my 3 wing and just fake it --- which is another thing that makes me feel inauthentic to my very core.

    I consistently do this .. even when I think I'm reaching some sort of balance, I slip up.

    PS. FYI .. anyone who's interacting with me, be warned, I'm kinda emotionally unhealthy and disintegrating these days .. so I'm probably gonna be unloading a lot here and there in my posts.

  6. #56
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    @Phoenix Don't worry about that. Everyone has their rough moments. It's definitely better than doing the INFJ retreat from the world. I know what you're talking about.

    You know...I have one very close ENFJ friend and she's had this new "always speak the truth" policy. Said it works very well. Maybe they know what they're talking about. I love it though. Every time I send her my writing I get her honest opinion, no frosting.

    Take care of yourself. And seriously, it's ok. " Life's a great balancing act" in the wise words of Dr. Seuss.

  7. #57
    Member wistfulwillow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix View Post
    - You make others miserable when you're miserable and then try to make them happy
    - You find ways to consistently sabotage relationships over and over again even though they are extremely important to you
    - No matter what happens in a soured relationship it always feels mostly your own fault
    - You oscillate between self-love and self-hate .. but mostly self-hate
    - You cannot do anything unless you're in the right mood .. even though you know that you shouldn't wait for the right mood and just chug through, but you still do.
    - You are already self-aware that your own poor sleeping/eating habits are contributing to your ill moods and yet fail to act to make the change because you're waiting to be in the right emotional state to be in to make that change
    - You want to love the world and everything that resides within and yet you can't love yourself.
    - When hating yourself is acceptable, but being hated by someone else isn't.
    Story of my life. Thanks for posting. Now I feel a little less weird, which as a 4, is both a blessing and a curse.
    4w5-5w4-1w2 sp/sx
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    “The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.”
    ― John Green

  8. #58
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    Wow, I think I may have finally settled my enneagram as 4w5. A big thank you to all involved.

    Wait, what am I talking about? If I take the plunge I'm not so special and unique after all. Goddarnit!

  9. #59
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wildflower View Post
    ~you've always wanted to live in france
    but another reason why. it speaks for itself.

    http://www.goal.com/en-us/news/465/f...es-controversy

  10. #60
    Member IllusoryReverie's Avatar
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    -Often attracted to melancholic song lyrics/poetry/quotes. Or, at least, anything that encompasses what seems to be a constant emotion of your own.
    I've found that this song for me personally brings out my empathy for what the singer/writer was feeling. I can really connect with it somehow.



    On a thousand islands in the sea,
    I see a thousand people just like me
    A hundred unions in the snow
    I watched them walking, falling in a row
    We live always underground
    It's going to be so quiet in here tonight
    A thousand islands in the sea,
    It's a shame

    And a hundred years ago
    A sailor trod this ground I stood upon
    Take me away everyone
    When it hurts thou

    From my head to my toes
    From the words in the book
    I see a vision that would bring me luck
    From my head to my toes
    To my teeth, through my nose
    You get these words wrong
    You get these words wrong
    Every time
    You get these words wrong
    I just smile

    But from my head to my toes
    From my knees to my eyes
    Every time I watch the sky
    For these last few days leave me alone
    But for these last few days leave me alone
    Leave me alone
    Leave me alone
    “The first progressive step by a mind overwhelmed by the strangeness of things is to realize that this feeling of strangeness is shared with all men and that human reality, in its entirety, suffers from the distance which separates it from the rest of the universe." -Albert Camus

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