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  1. #11
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kasper View Post
    /booming voice
    /soft spoken voice.
    ~ A deep desire, nay, compulsion for control over self, environment and people.
    Control over self is a good thing. Not going to try to modify this one bit. Control over environment and people is something I've worked on for awhile with some successes and failures. The older I get, the less I need to be in charge unless the person(s) in charge are doing anything less than a reasonable job. Then the need flares up again. A work in progress and as instinctual as 8's are, particulary 8w7s with variant sx/sp, will be a lifelong work in progress.
    ~ Inability to allow vulnerability.
    Don't know if you've noticed but I'm quite open on TypeC, in some ways wide, wide open down to the core of me and in other ways, very private, particularly when it comes to common sense issues like giving out name, phone number or location and a number of other things that I feel are no one else's business.

    If when I've revealed vulnerability and someone has used it against me, they will never be able to hurt me again since their opinion has stopped counting. If anything, they're considered a waste of any further time or energy.
    ~ A fear of being controlled by others.
    By knowing and accepting that no one can control me unless I consciously or subconsciously give them permission.

    Kasper, there maybe some members who disagree with what I'm going to say next but tough!

    You're a Fe user so the way that's comfortable with myself as a Fi user, might not work for you.

  2. #12
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    ~ A deep desire, nay, compulsion for control over self, environment and people.

    This is definitely a driving factor. Via control, to me, I can gain so much, both good and bad. With control, I can guide the mediums used to go down either path. It is such a simple word, that is so complex and identifies so much for me. I truly cannot say enough about how much this word, ironically, runs my life.
    Control over myself.. I do with several things. I regulate what I want.. I save money, and I enjoy budgeting my funds. I meditate, exercise, and eat right.. to give me at least some control over my physical body.
    Control over my environment. I meditate, analyze, and learn. I interact with people of all sorts, and get many perspectives. I stay open minded, and educate myself on the things around me to be better prepared.
    The first two sound very positive, I like. I don't tend to have much issue with the last so I'll leave that one. With the above two, a lot of that sounds at odds with your ENFPness, did you have to work towards using the control factor in a positive way or was that pretty natural for you?


    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoBiscuit View Post
    By being as honest and open about myself as I can on this forum for one thing.
    Have you found doing so has had a flow on effect IRL?


    Quote Originally Posted by Goosebump View Post
    I find others telling me about their insecurities and letting themselves be vulnerable to me, and I have no problem with that, but many times I find it hard to reciprocate.

    Basically to most people, I only share what I don't consider as "true weaknesses".
    Jinx!


    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphor View Post
    Don't know if you've noticed but I'm quite open on TypeC, in some ways wide, wide open down to the core of me and in other ways, very private, particularly when it comes to common sense issues like giving out name, phone number or location and a number of other things that I feel are no one else's business.
    Yup. What about IRL?

    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphor View Post
    Kasper, there maybe some members who disagree with what I'm going to say next but tough!

    You're a Fe user so the way that's comfortable with myself as a Fi user, might not work for you.
    *sloppy fe hug*

    I don't disagree that your approach as an ENTJ 8w7 with inf Fi is quite different to me as an ENTP 7w8 with tert Fe, but alternative approaches is exactly what I want to hear, see the thing is my current approach doesn't work as right now I just allow my control and vulnerability issues to be in charge.

    Not all alternative views are equal of course, I couldn't very well ask an ISFJ 2w1 for tips on how to overcome those issues as they're probably not issues for them in the first place and if they are they would likely have no desire to harness control and fear of vulnerability in a positive manner to improve themself. Like Ky, I see both of those issues as positive traits when harnessed in the right way, my 8 wing is something that can be very healthy for me at times, I just want tools and tips for focusing them so they can be limited to positive uses, not disarmed entirely.

    I expect anyone who relates to E8 will have control and fear of vulnerability as part of their vices, so Fi or Fe is irrelevant to me, success at harnessing them is what matters. 

  3. #13
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kasper View Post
    Yup. What about IRL?
    Had to think about that for awhile and yes, same thing. The appropriate time, place and interested person. The difference is being able to express it verbally, compared to in writing. On a medium like TypeC, you have the leisure to think about what you want to express so it comes across in a more complete way. But it's true in real life that it's rare that I express myself when working through a problem. Most often, it's after I've already reached a decision or the problem has been resolved. On TypeC, I will express the problem with the hopes that the diverse nature of the input will help, as long as it's provided as information rather than having it rammed down my throat.

    *sloppy fe hug*
    *looks around and sees that no one is noticing*

    *Quick but warm hug back.*
    I don't disagree that your approach as an ENTJ 8w7 with inf Fi is quite different to me as an ENTP 7w8 with tert Fe, but alternative approaches is exactly what I want to hear, see the thing is my current approach doesn't work as right now I just allow my control and vulnerability issues to be in charge.

    Not all alternative views are equal of course, I couldn't very well ask an ISFJ 2w1 for tips on how to overcome those issues as they're probably not issues for them in the first place and if they are they would likely have no desire to harness control and fear of vulnerability in a positive manner to improve themself. Like Ky, I see both of those issues as positive traits when harnessed in the right way, my 8 wing is something that can be very healthy for me at times, I just want tools and tips for focusing them so they can be limited to positive uses, not disarmed entirely.

    I expect anyone who relates to E8 will have control and fear of vulnerability as part of their vices, so Fi or Fe is irrelevant to me, success at harnessing them is what matters. 
    My apologies. Only you know what might help you.

  4. #14
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kasper View Post
    /booming voice
    Rarely. I don't like to use energy that way.

    ~ A deep desire, nay, compulsion for control over self, environment and people.
    I don't have much compulsion to control others. I have a huge need to control myself and my own environment. Only when someone feels the need to mess with my environment will I step in and stop them.

    ~ Inability to allow vulnerability.
    This was the most difficult one. I had to start trusting the people who cared about me. When I did I was able to show vulnerability without fearing it would be used as a weapon against me. This took a long time and it's still in progress.

    ~ A fear of being controlled by others.
    I don't know that I fear being controlled by others. My instinct says to be wary of it. If leadership is competent I can follow that but I keep an eye on it. In my personal environment, my home and family I know it is not healthy or beneficial to be a control freak. It also creates resentment. If someone from outside tried controlling my personal environment, yeah, that would be an extremely bad outcome for them.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  5. #15
    shadow boxer strawberries's Avatar
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    i can relate to almost all that ceecee has posted (i'm an 8w7).

  6. #16

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    I'm not sure how I go about the vulnerability one. I feel like I deal with vulnerability by myself. I don't really fear having it used against me, it's something different. It is more like I fear indifference to vulnerability. Something exposed that might as well have stayed hidden.

  7. #17

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    It's going to be funny if my vulnerability to indifference of my vulnerability is met with indifference.

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