[Type 6] The 6 & Rules

[Adasta]

I was wondering if anyone could help give me insight into 6s and their desire/need for rules and procedures?

Specifically, I am wondering about a 6's response to an abrogation of the rules. It seems that 6s derive pleasure from creating sequences and then carrying out these sequences. This can be anything from contacting a company about a business deal, meeting with the clients and then closing the deal to cooking a meal, washing-up and then putting everything away as soon as possible.

What I'm trying to comprehend is the real significance of this "order". I've seen 6s get quite irate if you don't follow their guidelines or even if you do but do it in another way - the response is something akin to "Oh no - we do it like this..." The desire seems to be to plan everything, but that's not possible. Is there some way to broach, or at least manage more effectively, the 6's need to codify everything?

 

[Ginkgo]

Well, the thinking of the 6 is linear, as opposed to 5s and 4s who think nonlinearly. The 6s thinking gives them a penchant for troubleshooting and consequential thinking, which could express itself in the form of performing tasks and abiding by rules. Often, this amounts to the 6 creating a trust-worthy environment for themselves and others. Seeking stability is a characteristic of self-preservation, which is an aspect of the stereotypical 6.

I don't see how someone could manage another's need to systematize everything anymore than you could manage the 4s need to find an identity or the 7s need to enterprise. Sometimes, those sorts of people who say

"Oh no - we do it like this..."

in the way you describe are unapologetic about the way they make judgments. It may as well be hardwired.

You can plan rote activities, but it's following through with those plans that becomes a challenge for people under extemporaneous circumstance or people who don't have the will.

 

[JocktheMotie]

Rules give 6s structure in which to interpret their perceptions. 6s can tend to be paranoid, so following rule and structure makes them think that "everything is okay." They have a focus on organizations and power structures, either by allying with them or positioning themselves against them, in order to bring certainty and anchoring themselves in order to protect themselves from perceived fear.

 

[Hopelandic]

For clarity and consistency.

Why have rules at all if you're not going to be consistent and apply them?

I think 6's spend a lot of time scrutinizing procedures and authorities. I'm not going to follow anything that isn't rational or doesn't make sense. If there is a rule that is fuzzy based on fuzzy premises, i'm going to examine it until I find a stable reason behind it, or I will dismiss it. Sometimes other people don't attempt to find stability or validity behind the 'fuzzy rules'. It appears like I am making my own procedures of conduct out of nowhere, when really this is the framework I have tried and tested (consistency, how it effects others etc). I'm an nfp so i'm not hardline with rules and I don't push something I think is stupid.

I'll give you an example from a few seconds ago. My sister picked up and ate half the packet of chips I had bought for after dinner snacks before dinner time. Every day we get a packet of chips for after dinner so everybody is happy (particularly my father). I told my sister she shouldn't have eaten so many chips before dinner, why? because then everyone else starts eating the chips, and by the time my dad gets home and it's after dinner time, there are no more chips left. I am potentially in the firing range now, because I do the shopping. "Why didn't you get another packet of chips"?.

I place a lot of responsibility onto my shoulders, as do I perceive other people doing unto me. Structure is important because it leads to less trouble. Because if it makes sense the first time, you're being inconsistent if you don't do it the next. And you're not following through with what order you've decided to adopt. A tiny bit is about control, another part of it is not about efficiency but consistency, another part is the 'responsibility' I hold and wanting to do the right thing so I am not internally and externally scolded.

There is not much clarity regarding order in the world. It's hard to figure out expectations and what makes sense. This gives the world an orderly quality about it. No ones ever specific enough about things. No one says what they mean. I have to figure it out myself so I know. So I know whether I am doing the right thing, so I am clear within myself what I am doing, so I can rationalise my actions to myself and also to defend my actions if it comes down to it.

Things have to make sense. I continue to question even my own rules and probe and stretch them all the time. Often when I am most internally probing, I am most reactive externally. I question the rule internally, and yet enforce it externally because i'm projecting and externalising. When I'm questioning something, i'm anxious. I'm internally buzzing. I don't like expressing it, so it ends up overflowing and spilling out into my actions.

 

[Adasta]

I place a lot of responsibility onto my shoulders, as do I perceive other people doing unto me. Structure is important because it leads to less trouble. Because if it makes sense the first time, you're being inconsistent if you don't do it the next. And you're not following through with what order you've decided to adopt. A tiny bit is about control, another part of it is not about efficiency but consistency, another part is the 'responsibility' I hold and wanting to do the right thing so I am not internally and externally scolded.

It's interesting that you say you put the responsibility onto your own shoulders. This is something I have witnessed with 6s. There seems to be an overwhelming sense of "If I didn't do this, it would never get done". However, I resent the implication for many reasons. I think a 6 sees me (4w5) as flighty, irresponsible and, what is worse, inconsistent. They're probably pretty accurate in their estimation, but the problem is that the 6 seems to imply that if it weren't for him/her, I would be lost. This is untrue, not to mention annoying! I mean, I managed to get by without 6s and their rules for a long time!

I'm trying to learn more about 6s because I am clashing with one constantly and the problem is the notion of "the rules". There seems to be a rule to govern almost everything which, to me, appears to strangle a lot of the joy out of life. One can't even delay actions until a bit later (I'll do it in an hour, after I've finished reading this book...): everything has to be done immediately!

Is there any way to deal with this other than giving in and following all the rules all the time? This may seem like the easiest option, but it isn't really; in fact, it would be very hard for me to do. I'd rather just try to show how some rules are helpful, but too many are a burden. I really get the sense that the 6 has so many rules so that s/he doesn't have to worry about certain functions; s/he can spend the rest of his/her time worrying about other stuff (e.g. the washing is done, the laundry is done, the shopping is done: now I can worry about tomorrow's potential pitfalls!). I'd like to diffuse this aspect in some way, if possible, because there is a real concern that too much time is spent focused towards worry.

 

[entropie]

What really sux is being a 7w6, then you want to enterprise but still stick to the rules. This results in you buying a sports car than can do 150 mph but never break the speed limit with it
( People hate driving cars with me, cause I know all the rules !! And there are a lot of rules in germany )