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Thread: Type 6 sucks

  1. #11
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by guesswho View Post
    Who needs anxiety, worries, panic, avoidance?!

    Self preservation?

    The hell with that.

    Let's get wild.
    That's funny.

    Guesswho else sucks?

  2. #12
    Junior Member Yeah...Nope.'s Avatar
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    Being married to an E6 with anxiety, worries, avoidance and self-preservation takes a whole lotta patience.

    It's exhausting to have to coax my husband to chill when:
    1. Kids need to go for school trips
    2. I need to drive out at night (as in no choice, not attending parties or clubbing, God forbid!)
    3. Trips when he isn't going
    4. When I don't hear my cellphone ring in my handbag, and there would be 17 missed calls within 15 mins and multiple texts of "Where are you?!?"
    5. 17 yo daughter isn't allowed to go to the mall with friends without an adult chaperone
    6. And teaching said 17 yo to drive ("it isn't safe for girls to drive alone day or night. She can't drive. What college; don't talk about overseas university. She ain't leaving country") 6. Don't even mention world wars...

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yeah...Nope. View Post
    Being married to an E6 with anxiety, worries, avoidance and self-preservation takes a whole lotta patience.

    It's exhausting to have to coax my husband to chill when:
    1. Kids need to go for school trips
    2. I need to drive out at night (as in no choice, not attending parties or clubbing, God forbid!)
    3. Trips when he isn't going
    4. When I don't hear my cellphone ring in my handbag, and there would be 17 missed calls within 15 mins and multiple texts of "Where are you?!?"
    5. 17 yo daughter isn't allowed to go to the mall with friends without an adult chaperone
    6. And teaching said 17 yo to drive ("it isn't safe for girls to drive alone day or night. She can't drive. What college; don't talk about overseas university. She ain't leaving country") 6. Don't even mention world wars...
    I hope I don't ever have a daughter for her sake, because I'd uncontrollably be exactly like that if not worse.

  4. #14
    Junior Member Yeah...Nope.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kullervo View Post
    I hope I don't ever have a daughter for her sake, because I'd uncontrollably be exactly like that if not worse.
    Is there actually an easier way to convince 6s that independence is vital for personal growth? Kids to be able to stand on their own two feet is on the top 10 list of what it means to be an adult?

    It just baffles me that he can't see this. I'm an E9w8 and fiercely independent. And our 17yo is E8w7. Yup. Can you imagine her aggravation?

    Being an E9, I try to understand. And also being a w8, I just veto his decision and once allowed my 17yo to participate in an international debate event overseas. He was hurt by my 'betrayal', and I suffered his berating me the whole 7 days. But once she came back, he was very proud of her wins and never mentioned his worries.

    Yeah, but I love him, tolerate his anger with a deadpan face and also defy unwarranted decisions for my children's sake. I just hope he won't have to tell me "I told you so!"

  5. #15
    Member KittyrinahasCupquake's Avatar
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    I would like to have a daughter, yes, a 14yo planning his life well in advance and then not sticking to any of it except for a few things, this is going to be one of those things. But yeah I would like to have a daughter, and in my trifix thingy thing my second strongest type is 6w5, my first is obviously 9w1. I'm kinda worried after reading this that I may be WAY over-protective and controlling.
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  6. #16
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yeah...Nope. View Post
    Is there actually an easier way to convince 6s that independence is vital for personal growth? Kids to be able to stand on their own two feet is on the top 10 list of what it means to be an adult?

    It just baffles me that he can't see this. I'm an E9w8 and fiercely independent. And our 17yo is E8w7. Yup. Can you imagine her aggravation?

    Being an E9, I try to understand. And also being a w8, I just veto his decision and once allowed my 17yo to participate in an international debate event overseas. He was hurt by my 'betrayal', and I suffered his berating me the whole 7 days. But once she came back, he was very proud of her wins and never mentioned his worries.

    Yeah, but I love him, tolerate his anger with a deadpan face and also defy unwarranted decisions for my children's sake. I just hope he won't have to tell me "I told you so!"
    That can be a lot to ask of a 6

    Thankfully my parents gave me a lot of freedom, and I have learned that it is the only way to raise kids. They need to have as much freedom as you can appropriately give.

    Maybe you could try relating the whole child raising thing to some thing like planting a seed. It needs nourishment, not suffocation. lol

    What's his MBTI type?
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

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  7. #17
    Junior Member Yeah...Nope.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    That can be a lot to ask of a 6

    Thankfully my parents gave me a lot of freedom, and I have learned that it is the only way to raise kids. They need to have as much freedom as you can appropriately give.

    Maybe you could try relating the whole child raising thing to some thing like planting a seed. It needs nourishment, not suffocation. lol

    What's his MBTI type?
    He's enfp. I've tried metaphors, reason, coaxing, and outright anger. I guess he just can't help it! I know how as parents you naturally want to protect your kids. The best way to me is to teach them to protect themselves and how to make safe decisions.

    Oh well... *shrugs*

  8. #18
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yeah...Nope. View Post
    He's enfp. I've tried metaphors, reason, coaxing, and outright anger. I guess he just can't help it! I know how as parents you naturally want to protect your kids. The best way to me is to teach them to protect themselves and how to make safe decisions.

    Oh well... *shrugs*


    lol Well it sounds like he's lucky to have you then.

    (And yea, that sounds like the best way to help protect them, to me too)
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
    Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner
    10w12

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yeah...Nope. View Post
    Is there actually an easier way to convince 6s that independence is vital for personal growth? Kids to be able to stand on their own two feet is on the top 10 list of what it means to be an adult?

    It just baffles me that he can't see this. I'm an E9w8 and fiercely independent. And our 17yo is E8w7. Yup. Can you imagine her aggravation?

    Being an E9, I try to understand. And also being a w8, I just veto his decision and once allowed my 17yo to participate in an international debate event overseas. He was hurt by my 'betrayal', and I suffered his berating me the whole 7 days. But once she came back, he was very proud of her wins and never mentioned his worries.

    Yeah, but I love him, tolerate his anger with a deadpan face and also defy unwarranted decisions for my children's sake. I just hope he won't have to tell me "I told you so!"
    I had a very tough childhood and the emotional scars and nightmares still haunt me. I am always scared about having children and them going through the same things. I always have dreams of my own death, or my dogs, or future children, dying, generally being sick, beaten to death or shot, dying really cruelly and painfully...then I wake up shaking. Because of my skiing accident and rugby concussions (I'm guessing) I often have nightmares about kids falling off bikes and walls and cracking their skulls...

    It wasn't that my parents abused me or anything but they were neglectful and naive when I was unwell, especially emotionally.

    When you already have a predisposition to internalise things and carry them as a 6 trauma just makes it worse.

  10. #20
    Junior Member Yeah...Nope.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kullervo View Post
    I had a very tough childhood and the emotional scars and nightmares still haunt me. I am always scared about having children and them going through the same things. I always have dreams of my own death, or my dogs, or future children, dying, generally being sick, beaten to death or shot, dying really cruelly and painfully...then I wake up shaking. Because of my skiing accident and rugby concussions (I'm guessing) I often have nightmares about kids falling off bikes and walls and cracking their skulls...

    It wasn't that my parents abused me or anything but they were neglectful and naive when I was unwell, especially emotionally.

    When you already have a predisposition to internalise things and carry them as a 6 trauma just makes it worse.
    I'm so sorry you go through this. Can't even imagine the anxiety 6s go through. Parents sometimes get caught up with the harsh realities of life and fail to see problems unless it's really obvious. Perhaps opening up about these issues will help them, a partner or close friend understand your trauma and give you the emotional support you need.

    After learning about enneagram and how 6s tick made me more accepting of my husband's insecurities and worries. I really thought he was going insane... And dragging me along in the process.

    I think every parent have intrusive thoughts about death and safety, but the love you have for your kids makes it all worth it. The love you feel takes over all other feelings. I know it sounds cliché, but you'll get it when you get there.

    Being able to get deeper insight, advice and support from people like you guys on TypoC is invaluable. *hugs*

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