but what i want to talk about is decision-making, and possibly in particular for Fi dom/aux 3s, because i often find my Fi-ish desires at odds with my 3-ish desires. and being that i'm a rather indecisive P already, it just makes everything a bit more tricky! and even if i'm not a 3, this problem is 3 enough that i still would really like to approach it in that way.
what i mean is that i often find my personal desire to have meaning/goodness (Fi) up against the desire to have what is the biggest, the best, the most admirable, and what others would affirm (3).
take my car, for example. it's a fairly low-price reliable small but nice sedan. i usually love it, because it's fun to drive (lightweight and stick shift!), well-suited to my needs, a color that i like, and has been with me through a lot! but occasionally i feel a bit embarrassed that it's not a nicer, fancier, more expensive car. especially when i'm hanging around snobby people. like my family.
and when it comes to making
decisions, i often find these two sorts of desires pitted against one another: do i go for meaning, or what is The Best? because honestly, when i go for meaning, Fi knows it's "right", but i feel regret that i didn't get The Best. i feel like i'm letting myself down and i'm letting others down, because i could have done better. but when i go for The Best, Fi is pissy. i'm looking at a piece of jewelry - Fi says i really like it smaller; 3 says it's more impressive if it's bigger. your friends will like it more. your bff jill will like it more and i really trust her judgment (though i think she is a 3 too.) your parents will like it more. and it's the exact same thing just bigger anyway, there's no reason not to like it. people will take you more seriously and know you're wealthy and impressive. and it sounds kind of stupid to write it, but i do
want people to think/know this.
and yeah, i know we're told from day 1 to go with our hearts because money will never make us happy. but my parents both have public service jobs (and technically we are upper class, but still) - they keep telling me that from their experience they genuinely believe it's better to just be a good person in a non-public job (or like a govt job) than to limit myself to a lower salary job even though it's idealistic, and have to struggle with financial issues. and note that they're both idealists (not the NF kind) - both work purely for human betterment. and they're are plagued by financial headaches.
so anyway. Fi vs 3. how the hell does one go about reconciling this?