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  1. #1
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    Default Threes, how do you experience your stress point - Nine?

    there are at least a few 3s here... so if you can describe what did you notice about your stress point 9, how you act then?

    added few questions for 3s:

    1) Are you "overachiever"? there are many prejudices (though often correct) about 3s being high acheivers...


    2) Are you a workaholic?

    3) Are you aware of your fear of failing? How does it effect you? How do you react to it? (over doing, freezing?)... etc.


    4) how long does your 9s state usually last? (if you noticed them at all)


    5) do you get angry a lot? do you express it? are you often more angry on others, blaming them, or on yourself?


    6)what do you do when you are scared of something?



    7) enneagram types you relate the most to? and how do you score (top 5?)


    thats all i promise
    Last edited by Chloe; 08-19-2010 at 11:35 AM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Gerbah's Avatar
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    I'm not a 3, but I do know someone who I would say is a 3. When there is a problem or issue that is unpleasant to face she often just tries to forget about it. Like, if it's in the past and she doesn't think about it, then it doesn't exist anymore and so there isn't a problem. (Even if objectively there is actually still a problem.) So in that sort of avoidant sense, it is nineish.
    the shoheen ho of the wind of the west and the lulla lo of the soft sea billow - Alfred Graves

  3. #3
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    I look for that feeling of getting shit done such that I can show people, it's something that drives me when I study. However, if I am stressed, like before exams, I don't focus on that at all, I stop working and just waste my time away and it just sort of spirals. There is also a slight problem: I keep away from people for an extended period of time, I will get progressively lazy, because I have a dependence on that.

    In some times of stress, I go completely calm. There may be enough stuff happening to make any one else get really angry or cry, but I just go calm. Some of my friends notice that I NEVER get angry. This is the reason why, but it is also that I find anger kind of funny, and I've played a lot of frustrating video games in my time-> it makes you more able to deal with the anger, same thing happened to my brother.

    I'm not quite sure how nine like those observations are.
    5 3 9

  4. #4
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    I will write for my case
    and the case of my friend who is also a 3. We are pretty similar though

    Me; I can have high of ambitions and planning billion stuff and thinking everything is possible, with high like "on my way to there, i'd pick this, then i'll do this..blahbla"... once i even really believed i will finish paralely masters in Math and Psychology bc I wasnt sure which to pick, and that was unrealistic in school system in my country; but when I am on that high, I feel like i can do anything, and, to be again there: i think that's true, but high doesnt last so long because the goal isnt genuine often; after all, i didnt want to finish both of those things, I just was afraid what to do so i was like "yeah it will all work out the best, i'm no loser" haha...
    after that, if i do too much like that (which for few yrs i am not doing bc i am more aware of my real needs, but still) it can lead to 9 state and being drained by everything and lazy, not caring about most things and appearing completely uncompetitive (i can be here for very long even longer than in 3!), I think I spent most part of my HS years like that, I was just "blah", for example: like many teenage girls my friends were competitive about looks and all, I never wanted to be the best or prove anything, join the competition, i was just content if they leave me alone (ok, that has also to do with NF values but I think 3 would be less passive than that if it's not in 9s place)

    well that's for now all about 9 i can tell.


    about my 3 friend
    .... well... she's image conscious and achievement oriented, for sure, so there is no question - she is 3. but she is also unsuccessful in HS and college, she plans so much and then when she cant reach that because she cant be the best, she falls apart and does nothing. It looks like coming home from school and doing nothing even though she knows that tomorrow is college application exam and her whole year of life depends on it. Then she failed it.
    She freezes out of fear of failing.
    That can happen to me too, often. Also,what Gerbah said, iignoring things that need to be done by simply not talking about them (i feel like i feezed there too). I think that's most common 9s state for a 3, being very very lazy because you have fear of failing

    That's it for now, I will write something if I remember it.

    I hope some other 3s will answer too.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by King-Of-Despair View Post
    I look for that feeling of getting shit done such that I can show people, it's something that drives me when I study. However, if I am stressed, like before exams, I don't focus on that at all, I stop working and just waste my time away and it just sort of spirals.
    Do you think you do that (be lazy, ignore) out of fear of failing?
    In some times of stress, I go completely calm. There may be enough stuff happening to make any one else get really angry or cry, but I just go calm. Some of my friends notice that I NEVER get angry. This is the reason why, but it is also that I find anger kind of funny, and I've played a lot of frustrating video games in my time-> it makes you more able to deal with the anger, same thing happened to my brother.
    I can relate to anger things, I am very very rarely angry. It's actually typical for both; Threes and Nines. Because 3s dont get angry too because anger breaks "relationship" with others, you know : diplomatic.
    I've been thinking about anger and enneagram types, there are some interesting stuff... ex.. I used to consider 1, but 1 has very inwardly turned anger, anger on self, i dont have that, mine goes a little bit more out, but usually no anger at all.
    The same with fear, 3s have a problem with (feeling) fear, they try to DO stuff to avoid it.

  6. #6
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    Great thread. I am pretty sure I'm a 3w2 but this is actually one area that makes me question it.....I do have a temper. But really only people in my inner circle see that side of me. Either that or someone on the other end of a phone call where I've received very poor customer service....in other words, someone that I don't have to turn around and face again.

    I really relate to just shutting down and losing all initiative....like I just don't even know where to start and it's not a sure thing that I will succeed at something so I put off even trying. I feel like that a lot.

    I also notice that I am such an extrovert, but when something is really bothering me, I just want to go somewhere and be alone. That's actually the only time I really can think of that I don't want to be around other people. Not sure what that all means.

    Would love to hear other responses.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by momof3 View Post
    I really relate to just shutting down and losing all initiative....like I just don't even know where to start and it's not a sure thing that I will succeed at something so I put off even trying. I feel like that a lot.
    .

    this is totally 9-ish i have that too

  8. #8
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    I tend to sweep things under the rug a lot to avoid conflict (i know this is bad, Im working on it the best I can), I admit I am a people pleaser, I want to do my best to make sure everyone is happy and that Im being on point. But Its unhealthy, I let shit build up and I eventually cant take it anymore, I either explode with anger, have an emotional melt down, or lose sleep because of anxiety. This is very unhealthy! Im am trying to say how I feel (sooner atleast) now. I care about other peoples feelings a lot and overlook my own. Is this typical of 3's or is this just an ENFJ thing?
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  9. #9
    Yeah, I can fly. Aleksei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chloé View Post
    there are at least a few 3s here... so if you can describe what did you notice about your stress point 9, how you act then?
    Lethargy, lack of motivation, irritability at people arguing around me. I'm a bit odd -- I'm a stubborn argumentative asshole when I'm in almost any setting but home, but at home I avoid arguments as much as possible, especially when I'm tired.

    Arguably another manifestation of Nine could be my tendency to feel depressed and down sometimes and shun human contact -- even though I immediately feel better once actually engaged in discussion.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    7w6 > 4w3 > 9w8, weakside sp/so

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  10. #10
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    @Sparrow, I might be wrong but I dont think that's typical 3s thing, no. More ENFJ.
    @Aleksei, I relate to all you said.

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