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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    Then wouldn't this have become your natural inclination? Thus meaning that you became that and now do not wish to be this way any longer and are finding a different path.

    I'm saying that perhaps what you say you are now isn't who you were, but who you wish to be, and now that you realize this, you say that you were always this. Am I on to something?

    I worded these too poetically, I apologize.
    Oh, okay. What I mean is I'm no longer such a slave to Type 9 behavior. As in, I don't have do it when it's unhealthy. For example, a Type 6 loves security, often to the point where they unnecessarily avoid risk, thus losing out on opportunities. Realizing this, a Type 6 can go ahead and take some more calculated risks. For me, this means I don't have to constantly be afraid of conflict with others. Sometimes it's good.

    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    Type 9s won't disagree with you. They are 9s godammit! :P
    Yes, they should stop falling into that trap!

    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    From here:
    Implying that you stopped 4 yrs ago.
    I said I stopped treating people with kid gloves four years ago. How that implies I started behaving like a Type 5 or completely disregarded other people's feelings is beyond me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Takeru View Post
    Take my example to yours.

    You've seen yourself as type 5 from the get-go for a long while now.

    When I started the enneagram, I thought 4 sounded like me, but 5 also sounded somewhat like me. Other enneagram types weren't off to (particularly 6.) Back then, I would constantly switch my enneagram type back and forth between 4 and 5.
    Okay, and the next step to your argument is...?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    This, in my mind, does not equal carte blanche to say or do whatever we want. We still have to act like responsible human beings. We still try to do no harm. But we don't go over everything we say with a fine-toothed comb, with our only goal being to avoid conflict at all costs. We accept that conflict can be normal and even healthy in certain contexts.
    YES

    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    The way I read you, Mac, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, is that you have more of a comedian's sensibility as far as what is offensive or non-offensive. You're not trying to aggressively push buttons (unless it's an actual conflict), but rather to explore boundaries and question what's offensive and why we find it so. When you're pushing further, I usually feel like there's humor and curiosity rather than outright aggression behind it. I've personally always believed there's no such thing as offensive or non-offensive, but rather funny or not funny. I kind of feel like you might be the same way.
    That's pretty good, I'll have to remember that analysis. There have been times when something has been found offensive in a way I never anticipated or desired. Now, with foreknowledge I might've avoided offending, but often what I said/wrote isn't offensive per se. It's just a quirk in the other person.

  2. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Okay, and the next step to your argument is...
    The thing is I can't since I don't know you too well. But knowing yourself as a 5 for a while now means something to say the least.

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Now, with foreknowledge I might've avoided offending, but often what I said/wrote isn't offensive per se. It's just a quirk in the other person.
    Nothing is offensive per se. Things can only be subjectively offensive.

    HAMLET: Why, then, 'tis none to you; for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so: to me it is a prison.

    But I'll stop now because this is obviously a HUGE blind spot for you. And becoming very boring for me.


    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    I've never, EVER understood what the enneagram has meant by "instincts." Not like sx, sp, so but as one of the functions of the types (which are thinking, feeling, and instincts). Like how 9's are equally strong in their thinking and feeling, but have suppressed instincts to maintain the peace. I have no idea what they mean by that; and I've never seen any explanation.
    "Instinct" is like gut reaction. It’s immediate, sensory, reflexive behaviour. It’s about how you interact with your environment, viscerally, not intellectually (thinking) or emotionally (feeling). It corresponds loosley with Freud’s concept of Id.
    The type in the centre of each triad (nines, sixes, threes) has most difficulty with the function which defines the triad. Nines repress their instincts (id) in order to maintain a harmonious environment, in the process losing conscious control of them. But often we become ruled by the things we repress – just because they are out of our conscious control, doesn’t mean they don’t play a major role in our lives (much like the inferior function). The price nines pay for an illusory peace of mind is disconnection from themselves and ultimately, disconnection from everything, because without a firm idea of self, one cannot have any kind of relationship with others, let alone a harmonious one.
    The inclusion of each type in its Center is not arbitrary. Each type results from a particular relationship with a cluster of issues that characterize that Center. Most simply, these issues revolve around a powerful, largely unconscious emotional response to the loss of contact with the core of the self. In the Instinctive Center, the emotion is Anger or Rage. In the Feeling Center, the emotion is Shame, and in the Thinking Center, it is Anxiety or Dread. Of course, all nine types contain all three of these emotions, but in each Center, the personalities of the types are particularly affected by that Center's emotional theme.
    ..
    Nines deny their anger and instinctual energies as if to say, "What anger? I am not a person who gets angry." Nines are the type most out of touch with their anger and instinctual energies, often feeling threatened by them. Of course, Nines get angry like everyone else, but try to stay out of their darker feelings by focusing on idealizations of their relationships and their world.
    Dunno if that helps.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Takeru View Post
    The thing is I can't since I don't know you too well. But knowing yourself as a 5 for a while now means something to say the least.
    If Type 9 didn't exist I'd be Type 5. I am going on faith there aren't more types out there that would fit me better. A lot of the Enneagram seems arbitrary to me.

  5. #65
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    You're the poster child for Type 9.
    You should have it tattooed on your baldy head or something.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  6. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Oh, okay. What I mean is I'm no longer such a slave to Type 9 behavior. As in, I don't have do it when it's unhealthy. For example, a Type 6 loves security, often to the point where they unnecessarily avoid risk, thus losing out on opportunities. Realizing this, a Type 6 can go ahead and take some more calculated risks. For me, this means I don't have to constantly be afraid of conflict with others. Sometimes it's good.
    Hmmmm, makes sense. I suppose the angle I was trying to take it was that you didn't realize you were a nine, but you wanted to become that and in doing so you reconciled with the faults with being that type so that you could become that type. This however is really a tangent to the actual point that others are making against you though... I think believing that you control others by what you say is the biggest issue and why it appears to be egocentric, however, it's always a balance because you can't completely lose all tact or you appear egocentric because it appears you don't have to care about others feelings. It's a finer line than some of the other subjects. I didn't help much, did I?

  7. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    Hmmmm, makes sense. I suppose the angle I was trying to take it was that you didn't realize you were a nine, but you wanted to become that and in doing so you reconciled with the faults with being that type so that you could become that type. This however is really a tangent to the actual point that others are making against you though... I think believing that you control others by what you say is the biggest issue and why it appears to be egocentric, however, it's always a balance because you can't completely lose all tact or you appear egocentric because it appears you don't have to care about others feelings. It's a finer line than some of the other subjects. I didn't help much, did I?
    Oh no, I didn't want to be a 9 at all. Ever read the 9 descriptions? So lame.

    EDIT: and yes it is a balancing act.

  8. #68
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    It is rather boring, I have to say though if you can make the passive agression build up long enough, the explosion it can make is rather exciting!

  9. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    It is rather boring, I have to say though if you can make the passive agression build up long enough, the explosion it can make is rather exciting!
    LOL, exciting for who?

  10. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Oh no, I didn't want to be a 9 at all. Ever read the 9 descriptions? So lame.

    EDIT: and yes it is a balancing act.
    I know, wouldn't you want to be a 5 instead?

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