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  1. #141
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    I thought you'd liberated yourself from that burden already?
    Not if they are your own problems, or problems you helped create.

  2. #142
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Not if they are your own problems, or problems you helped create.
    Right. So your motivation is to discover whether or not you are at fault, and therefore whether or not you have to do anything. With the overall goal of doing as little as possible ("I don't want to be disturbed") which you achieve by blaming others.
    See how that works?
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  3. #143
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    Right. So your motivation is to discover whether or not you are at fault, and therefore whether or not you have to do anything. With the overall goal of doing as little as possible ("I don't want to be disturbed") which you achieve by blaming others.
    See how that works?
    Why burden myself if I'm not at fault?

  4. #144
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Why burden myself if I'm not at fault?
    Because that's how you learn to become authentic and fully present.

    IOW, self-awareness through suffering.

    There is a difference between beating yourself up because someone else is hurting and just being present with that person and allowing yourself to share their experience and accept and validate their feelings - which you can't do if you are judging them ("it's their problem") or judging yourself ("I fucked up") or insisting that they feel happy and great all the time just so they don't disturb your mood. That's just selfish and it closes you off to real communication. You need to take off your rose-coloured specs if you really want to see.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  5. #145
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    Because that's how you learn to become authentic and fully present.

    IOW, self-awareness through suffering.

    There is a difference between beating yourself up because someone else is hurting and just being present with that person and allowing yourself to share their experience and accept and validate their feelings - which you can't do if you are judging them ("it's their problem") or judging yourself ("I fucked up") or insisting that they feel happy and great all the time just so they don't disturb your mood. That's just selfish and it closes you off to real communication. You need to take off your rose-coloured specs if you really want to see.
    I disagree, sometimes people need judging. Accepting and validating feelings all the time with everyone is an impossible task.

    But I'll be glad to "judge" you on that standard from now on if you wish.

  6. #146
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    I disagree, sometimes people need judging.
    Careful, you're channeling your inner ISTJ.
    But I'll be glad to "judge" you on that standard from now on if you wish.
    I think I'm pretty good at not judging people's reactions to what I say.
    I let them get as pissed off as they want.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  7. #147
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    Because that's how you learn to become authentic and fully present.

    IOW, self-awareness through suffering.

    There is a difference between beating yourself up because someone else is hurting and just being present with that person and allowing yourself to share their experience and accept and validate their feelings - which you can't do if you are judging them ("it's their problem") or judging yourself ("I fucked up") or insisting that they feel happy and great all the time just so they don't disturb your mood. That's just selfish and it closes you off to real communication. You need to take off your rose-coloured specs if you really want to see.
    very well said miss morgan! it's about being present while taking yourself out of it...know what i mean? are you capable of doing that mac?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #148
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    very well said miss morgan! it's about being present while taking yourself out of it...know what i mean? are you capable of doing that mac?
    Are we doing Zen now?

  9. #149
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    We know you're more than capable of sarcasm and deflection.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  10. #150
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    We know you're more than capable of sarcasm and deflection.
    What she wrote was similar to Zen, which is different than what you wrote (self-awareness through suffering).

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