I've read that it's common for Ones to make a lot of excuses for things that they do wrong. That's how it is with me, and I'm a 1. But I kinda think that, in my case, it's also thinking out loud a bit; people will tell me that something I did was wrong, and that will take me by surprise, and I will suddenly have no idea why I really did that thing, and so by figuring out all the reasons why I did that, maybe I'll come across something that will convince me that they're right, so that I can come to terms with being wrong and actually fix the problem - because the problem can't be fixed if I caused it and yet won't acknowledge that I did. (And also, I'm secretly hoping that they'll say "Oh, that's a good reason. You're off the hook", even though I know from experience that the chance of that happening is slim to none.)
This issue could have a lot to do with my being an ESTJ, or it might not. But either way, it leads to a lot of conflicts with people where they get progressively more mad at me the more excuses I make, and say "I don't want to hear any more from you - just shut up and never make that mistake again." And then I feel like I've been wronged, but the conversation has been ended and I can't defend myself because I would be making more excuses, so I always end up sitting there and simmering in my anger. (A particularly upsetting confrontation just happened a couple of hours ago, which is why I'm making this thread.)
I just want to know, from fellow Ones and people who understand Ones really well, what I can do to keep this from happening. And please don't say "stop making excuses" - I've heard enough of that today, and I'm sick of it. I just want to hear comforting words, anecdotes, or alternatives that make sense, from sympathetic/empathetic people who either are Ones or just understand Ones and how they think.