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  1. #1
    Senior Member InTheFlesh's Avatar
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    Default Typing Enneagram 6's

    6's seem to be the hardest type for me to figure out, what are some of the huge indicators that someone is a six?
    And if any 6's read this, what does it take for you to want to get close to someone?

  2. #2
    Whisky Old & Women Young Speed Gavroche's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InTheFlesh View Post
    6's seem to be the hardest type for me to figure out, what are some of the huge indicators that someone is a six?
    When you are often unable to see any alternatives between being a coward/a sheep and being a fighter/a hero.

    And if any 6's read this, what does it take for you to want to get close to someone?
    Often because I hope or I feel that I can receive true support and guidance from that person.
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    "Stereotypes about personality and gender turn out to be fairly accurate: ... On the binary Myers-Briggs measure, the thinking-feeling breakdown is about 30/70 for women versus 60/40 for men." ~ Bryan Caplan

  3. #3
    Senior Member InTheFlesh's Avatar
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    Could you elaborate further on the "unable to see any alternatives between being a coward/a sheep and being a fighter/a hero" concept?

    How often do you find people that you can truly trust?

  4. #4
    Whisky Old & Women Young Speed Gavroche's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InTheFlesh View Post
    Could you elaborate further on the "unable to see any alternatives between being a coward/a sheep and being a fighter/a hero" concept?
    Well, I think it's more a counterphobic 6 point of view. I often buil catastrophic scenarios and overestimate difficulties, and so, I don't see any alternatives between let my anxiety overhelm me or courageously face it.

    Another way would be to be faithful and stop to overdoubt about thing, but it's more or less difficult.

    How often do you find people that you can truly trust?
    That I can "truly trust" in the sense that I can totally trust them and just know that they would'nt try to betray me, reject me, or treat me like pyons? Rarely actually. But at the same time, I often meet peoples, and I first accept to trust them for little things and if things work well, I can gradually trust them more and more. Actually, I think most part of peioples are more or less like that... But it's almost "vital" for a 6 to can trust something or someone because they feel deeply insecure or vulnerable without that.

    Another aspect of the doubting nature of the 6 is that you even doubt about reasons why peoples are afraid. If, for example, you are fearfull face to problem when you are around self-assured peoples and fearless around fearfull peoples, you are probably a 6.
    EsTP 6w7 Sx/Sp

    Chaotic Neutral

    E=60% S=55% T=70% P=80%

    "I don't believe in guilt, I only believe in living on impulses"

    "Stereotypes about personality and gender turn out to be fairly accurate: ... On the binary Myers-Briggs measure, the thinking-feeling breakdown is about 30/70 for women versus 60/40 for men." ~ Bryan Caplan

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    Senior Member InTheFlesh's Avatar
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    Ok, thanks a ton for all the information! I was just trying to figure out if one of my friends is a 6, which I think he is, and I think I'm going to work really hard to try to get close to him. He seems like he needs a confidant

  6. #6
    Whisky Old & Women Young Speed Gavroche's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InTheFlesh View Post
    Ok, thanks a ton for all the information! I was just trying to figure out if one of my friends is a 6, which I think he is, and I think I'm going to work really hard to try to get close to him. He seems like he needs a confidant
    Ah, Ok.

    I don't think it's too much hard to get close to us though. If you just phone him when he's not expecting that to chat with him or invite him to do something with you, in group or in a party for example, he can really apreciate it. I don't think we are complicated peoples, we are actually simple but we compulsively worry about potential complications of things. Just be sincere and simple with him, and things would go right.
    EsTP 6w7 Sx/Sp

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    E=60% S=55% T=70% P=80%

    "I don't believe in guilt, I only believe in living on impulses"

    "Stereotypes about personality and gender turn out to be fairly accurate: ... On the binary Myers-Briggs measure, the thinking-feeling breakdown is about 30/70 for women versus 60/40 for men." ~ Bryan Caplan

  7. #7
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Although apparently loads of people are 6s, it seems like not many are willing to admit to it (ie. on this forum), which can make the identification more difficult

    I am fairly sure (though not positive) that I'm a 6. I have often been told that I come across as totally non-clingy...in fact, if anything I occasionally go too far in the opposite direction. But I think that this is because I am so afraid of seeming clingy and driving people away by it. There is a part of me, in my head and heart, that is really very clingy and even stalker-ish and obsessive with people I care about deeply, and it worries me that other people might pick up on that.

    If I am worried that I may have offended you, and/or that you may be angry with me, it will disturb me terribly. I will need reassurance that everything is ok between us...but I won't necessarily push for that. I may just withdraw and construct paranoid scenarios in my head, until I hear from you and know for sure that all is ok. So, it's good with 6s to provide them with that type of reassurance and to go the extra mile in that regard if you think there is the slightest chance that they may be uncertain about the well-being of your relationship.

    If I say something to you like "I hope you weren't annoyed about what I said the other day", it really translates as "I have a weird, paranoid and pretty much unfounded feeling that I may have hurt your feelings terribly by what I said and that it may have threatened the basis of our friendship - please reassure me that this isn't the case."

    I'm not sure if that helps with your original query. Just a few thoughts.
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  8. #8
    Whisky Old & Women Young Speed Gavroche's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Although apparently loads of people are 6s, it seems like not many are willing to admit to it (ie. on this forum), which can make the identification more difficult

    I am fairly sure (though not positive) that I'm a 6. I have often been told that I come across as totally non-clingy...in fact, if anything I occasionally go too far in the opposite direction. But I think that this is because I am so afraid of seeming clingy and driving people away by it. There is a part of me, in my head and heart, that is really very clingy and even stalker-ish and obsessive with people I care about deeply, and it worries me that other people might pick up on that.

    If I am worried that I may have offended you, and/or that you may be angry with me, it will disturb me terribly. I will need reassurance that everything is ok between us...but I won't necessarily push for that. I may just withdraw and construct paranoid scenarios in my head, until I hear from you and know for sure that all is ok. So, it's good with 6s to provide them with that type of reassurance and to go the extra mile in that regard if you think there is the slightest chance that they may be uncertain about the well-being of your relationship.

    If I say something to you like "I hope you weren't annoyed about what I said the other day", it really translates as "I have a weird, paranoid and pretty much unfounded feeling that I may have hurt your feelings terribly by what I said and that it may have threatened the basis of our friendship - please reassure me that this isn't the case."

    I'm not sure if that helps with your original query. Just a few thoughts.
    lol! I totally relate on that.

    One other aspect is that I constantly scan facial expressions and behavior about peoples I care about, and often worry if, inside, he's not blaming me for somthing wrong I've done, and sometimes push the person to speak out clearly what they think...but the most part of the time, there's nothing in paticular.
    EsTP 6w7 Sx/Sp

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    "I don't believe in guilt, I only believe in living on impulses"

    "Stereotypes about personality and gender turn out to be fairly accurate: ... On the binary Myers-Briggs measure, the thinking-feeling breakdown is about 30/70 for women versus 60/40 for men." ~ Bryan Caplan

  9. #9
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Speed Gavroche View Post
    lol! I totally relate on that.

    One other aspect is that I constantly scan facial expressions and behavior about peoples I care about, and often worry if, inside, he's not blaming me for somthing wrong I've done, and sometimes push the person to speak out clearly what they think...but the most part of the time, there's nothing in paticular.
    Actually, it amazes me that an ISTP would relate to me on this...you guys just seem really laid back and like you wouldn't stress too much about blips in your relationships with others? I'm probably over-simplifying?

    It would be really interesting to know what the similarities/differences would be between an INFJ 6 and an ISTP 6!

    EDIT: I assume part of the difference would be that you would be more inclined to be counter-phobic (which you already alluded to) and I would be more inclined to be phobic (which I am well aware of in myself. I think that I can have counter-phobic moments, and am proud of myself when I push them through, but I'm much more phobic.)
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  10. #10
    Whisky Old & Women Young Speed Gavroche's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Actually, it amazes me that an ISTP would relate to me on this...you guys just seem really laid back and like you wouldn't stress too much about blips in your relationships with others? I'm probably over-simplifying?
    Yes, it's an over simplification. ISTPs value their independance and are reserved around peoples, they also avoid confining commitments and are freedom-lovers, but thay can also love some peoples with an extreme intensity and be consumate loyal friend.
    It would be really interesting to know what the similarities/differences would be between an INFJ 6 and an ISTP 6!

    EDIT: I assume part of the difference would be that you would be more inclined to be counter-phobic (which you already alluded to) and I would be more inclined to be phobic (which I am well aware of in myself. I think that I can have counter-phobic moments, and am proud of myself when I push them through, but I'm much more phobic.)
    Well, I think ISTP 6 relate more on the constant ricochet of the type 6: they can be independant and detached from peoples, yet ready to try anything because they are devoted to someone or something. They see the world as inherently unpreductable and untrustable, so they prefer to count on their ability to analyze and improvize than on etablished plans and etablished norm, they think that they must be free to face life's difficulties, but if they find something or someone that they think fiable and reliable, they are loyal and happy. They are also more prone to the danger and adrenaline addiction side of the 6 . An ISTP 6 think it's above all important to be independent, despite we can feel insecure, they are distrusting and misgiving and don't exange their independence for their loyalty easily, while INFJs 6 assume more that they need support and guidance from others and that they need to be secure, not likely to be a loner wolf. So, yes, in that optic, ISTPs can be more counterphobic and INFJs more phobic.

    Type 6 ISTPs may be Mel Gibson or Eminem, for example, or even Charles Gunn from Angel, Spike from BTVS, MacGyver, Amy Winehouse, Kristen Stewart or Malcolm X. Thoses are rather counterphobic, Woody Allen could be an example of phobic ISTP.

    Type 6 INFJ seems more phobic, they are Helen Palmer for example, or Tara from BTVS, maybe also Daniel Jackson from Stargate SG-1. Susan Sarrandon would be an example of counterphobic type 6 INFJ.
    EsTP 6w7 Sx/Sp

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    E=60% S=55% T=70% P=80%

    "I don't believe in guilt, I only believe in living on impulses"

    "Stereotypes about personality and gender turn out to be fairly accurate: ... On the binary Myers-Briggs measure, the thinking-feeling breakdown is about 30/70 for women versus 60/40 for men." ~ Bryan Caplan

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