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  1. #1
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    Default The irony of TWOS in relationships

    More than anything they want to be appreciated. They want to feel wanted and needed. Ironically, at medium or unhealthy states, when they are wanted and appreciated, they do not like it. It only works when you don't want/need them. Hence, they can fall into a "wanting what they can't have" or even abusive relationship cycle.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by themarlins View Post
    More than anything they want to be appreciated. They want to feel wanted and needed. Ironically, at medium or unhealthy states, when they are wanted and appreciated, they do not like it. It only works when you don't want/need them. Hence, they can fall into a "wanting what they can't have" or even abusive relationship cycle.
    I don't think that's characteristic of 2s in particular. A lot of unhealthy people are like that.

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    I think that's true, but Two's do seem to have perfected that particular dynamic of a relationship. One of my good friends is a Two, and she wrote an article about defining deal-breakers- it was funny, because that's not something I've ever articulated needing to do, but for her, it was something she had to give a lof of thought to. Twos struggle with those types of boundaries, and seem to be likely candidates for feeling/being taken advantage of at times. Here that article if you're interested...

    “Deal Breaking” up is hard to do-ooo: Insights on being an Enneagram Two | AllPersonality.com
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    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by themarlins View Post
    More than anything they want to be appreciated. They want to feel wanted and needed. Ironically, at medium or unhealthy states, when they are wanted and appreciated, they do not like it. It only works when you don't want/need them. Hence, they can fall into a "wanting what they can't have" or even abusive relationship cycle.
    it could also be that at that point in time we don't know what we want, so we think that what we need is appreciation and to feel wanted and its when we get it that we realize that we still feel a void within us.

    Unhealthy twos are definitely not pretty. I've ended a couple of friendships during my unhealthy states because of my behavior
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    Is this really true? If so, that's interesting.

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    I guess there's a desire to win some people over, so yea there might be something to it.
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    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rena View Post
    I think that's true, but Two's do seem to have perfected that particular dynamic of a relationship. One of my good friends is a Two, and she wrote an article about defining deal-breakers- it was funny, because that's not something I've ever articulated needing to do, but for her, it was something she had to give a lof of thought to. Twos struggle with those types of boundaries, and seem to be likely candidates for feeling/being taken advantage of at times. Here that article if you're interested...

    “Deal Breaking” up is hard to do-ooo: Insights on being an Enneagram Two | AllPersonality.com
    after reading that I'm curious if there's any corellation between twos and borderline personality disorder. I don't mean 2s have that and other types can't but i'm curious if unhealthy 2s can be dxed with that. I'm not a professional pure speculation on my part. I'm also not calling anyone on here borderline. I'm just curious.
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    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

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