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  1. #1
    Senior Member InTheFlesh's Avatar
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    Default Perceptions on type 8's

    I'm a 9, and I noticed whenever I'm around anybody I suspect to be a type 8 there is just something inside of me that feels uncomfortable or unsafe. I think this might just be because I'm a 9 and I have a tendency to over-examine the vibe of the group I'm in, but I'm not sure.

    Is there anyone else that feels this vibe around 8's, or am I just crazy?
    Scratch that second question, I already know I'm crazy

  2. #2
    ThatGirl
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    I get along fine with 9s.

  3. #3
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    I used to be like this with 8's, but after understanding what they are really about it's fine. I'm especially attracted to 8w9s. If an 8 starts intimidating me then I just enforce my boundaries in my 9 like way, non directly but getting the point across.

    We may have a very different perspective on this though since you are an so/sp and I'm sx/sp, opposites.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  4. #4
    Senior Member InTheFlesh's Avatar
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    It might also be because I had a very unhealthy step-father who had a lot of 8 qualities. He really brought my wing out

    BlackCat, I have a separate Enneagram question for you. Do you find yourself as a toss-up between a 9 and a 5? I do, but my 9w1 friend doesn't, so I'm wondering if it's just the wing that makes the difference.

  5. #5
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InTheFlesh View Post
    It might also be because I had a very unhealthy step-father who had a lot of 8 qualities. He really brought my wing out
    I have the exact same relationship with my step mom, who is an 8w7 so/sx. The so first doesn't help either. We had a really bad relationship, and neither of us would compromise. That's the thing, when 9's and 8's get into conflict neither side budges. The 8 is an unstoppable force, the 9 is an immovable object. Both people have to compromise to get along if they have issues.

    After 8 years of having a horrible, horrible, relationship, we eventually understood each other and compromised. But you have to want to for that to happen.

    BlackCat, I have a separate Enneagram question for you. Do you find yourself as a toss-up between a 9 and a 5? I do, but my 9w1 friend doesn't, so I'm wondering if it's just the wing that makes the difference.
    Nah, not really a toss up. Anyone who enjoys studying theories like this will probably see that they have some 5 traits, and also you're an INFJ. Plus, 5's are the worst with their instincts, and 9's are detached from their instincts. After having read about 5's and knowing a good amount of them, I don't feel that there is a toss up with them for me.

    Perhaps you have 5 in your tri-type like I do? I definitely have some 5 traits, but it's not my dominant type at all.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  6. #6
    Senior Member ilovereeses's Avatar
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    One of my best friends is an 8w7. He's really fun to be around, even though he is constantly picking on me. He's really helped me find my 8 wing and know how to use it.
    eNFP 9w8 sx/sp

    ~Don't ignore the truth, it will set you free.

    ~10% of life is what happens to you, 90% of life is how you deal with it.

  7. #7
    Senior Member InTheFlesh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    Plus, 5's are the worst with their instincts, and 9's are detached from their instincts.
    Huh, my closest friend is an INFJ 5w4 and his instincts are almost always spot on

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    Perhaps you have 5 in your tri-type like I do? I definitely have some 5 traits, but it's not my dominant type at all.
    This might be asking a lot, but could you explain the "Tri-type" deal to me? I never was really told what it was, and there's no better way to learn it than from a fellow 9

  8. #8
    Senior Member InTheFlesh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ilovereeses View Post
    One of my best friends is an 8w7. He's really fun to be around, even though he is constantly picking on me. He's really helped me find my 8 wing and know how to use it.
    That might be another reason I don't do well around them, I'm very a fragile, sensitive guy and seeing others being picked on or intimidated bothers me like no other.

    I find my 8 wing contradicting my 9 root constantly and it really messes with me internally
    But I guess that's just part of being an unstable INFJ

  9. #9
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InTheFlesh View Post
    Huh, my closest friend is an INFJ 5 and his instincts are almost always spot on
    Well, in an enneagram sense. It's hard to explain really. My instincts are usually good. It's just a certain kind of energy. For a point of contrast, 8's are the best with their instincts.

    This might be asking a lot, but could you explain the "Tri-type" deal to me? I never was really told what it was, and there's no better way to learn it than from a fellow 9
    Basically everyone thinks in terms of Instincts, Feeling, and Thinking; represented by a type in each triad. But the order that people do that is individualized.

    So you have one instinctive, one thinking, and one feeling type in your tri type. For me it's 9w8>5w6>2w3; that being the order that those types affect me in my daily life. The 2w3 is definitely in affect for me, but it's a bit dim and unconscious. You basically just determine it based on studying the types and seeing which motivations resonate with you.

    Quote Originally Posted by InTheFlesh View Post
    I find my 8 wing contradicting my 9 root constantly and it really messes with me internally
    Oh me too. It can be rough sometimes. I just have to maintain some self control over the w8 and be assertive when I need to and hold back when I need to. To satisfy the 8 part of me, I just "let go" of some people. If I'm not interested in maintaining the peace with them, then the 8 takes over. But it gets a bit difficult with my personal relationships. It's all contextual. But I can be extremely conflicted too.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  10. #10
    Senior Member InTheFlesh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    Well, in an enneagram sense. It's hard to explain really. My instincts are usually good. It's just a certain kind of energy. For a point of contrast, 8's are the best with their instincts.
    So instincts and intuition are different, yes?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    So you have one instinctive, one thinking, and one feeling type in your tri type. For me it's 9w8>5w6>2w3; that being the order that those types affect me in my daily life. The 2w3 is definitely in affect for me, but it's a bit dim and unconscious. You basically just determine it based on studying the types and seeing which motivations resonate with you.
    Ok, I think I can already set out my tri-type. I've read through The Wisdom Of The Enneagram by Don Riso twice and I'm kind of surprised I never came across that. I can say with no doubt that I'm 9w8>5w6>4w5. I always thought I was a mixture of the "Head Space Types" (A term that my group of friends use). I felt like my friends didn't even take me seriously because I felt like this, it's nice to know I was right

    Edit:Typo

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